Archive (Page 2) • On / Off • Buttondown

November 16, 2021

Remember how I submitted a personal essay to a couple of literary journals, and didn't expect to hear anything back for months? Well, one of the journals got...

November 1, 2021

Hello again! It's November 1st and, as promised, I'm back with a new newsletter for you. I had high hopes for my time off from writing this newsletter and,...

Some More Thoughts on Writing This Newsletter

October 12, 2021

This is issue #30 of On / Off, which means it's time for this newsletter to cycle off for a little while. After I finished the first 10 issues, I only took a...

I'm a Goddamn Delight and It's a Privilege to Know Me.

October 11, 2021

Last week sometime, I engaged in an all too common post-conversation ritual. E and I had been talking with some friends, and afterwards, I turned to him to...

On Vacation Again

October 7, 2021

I may have just been on vacation in the US (and for longer than I intended), but E hadn't taken a week off from work since May. And we hadn't done an...

The Joy of Geography

October 6, 2021

Yesterday I asked E how many countries he thought he could name. He said maybe eighty. I thought I could pretty easily name 100. I figured we would leave it...

Help! I Just Want to Drink More Pumpkin Beer!

October 5, 2021

While I was in the US, I drank five pumpkin beers of two different varieties: Night Shift Brewing's Pumpkin Piescraper and (an absolute classic) Shipyard's...

But I'm also my body

October 4, 2021

Last week, I wrote about how I am my mind. I wrote about how I value my thoughts, feelings, ideas -- the head in a jar parts of me -- more highly than I...

September 30, 2021

Earlier this year, I told my therapist, "more than anything else, I am my mind." It will surprise no one to hear that I struggle with overthinking. I'm a...

Double-edged Emotional Swords

September 29, 2021

I arrived in the US on a Thursday night and spent just 24 hours at my mom's apartment in Rhode Island before leaving again. My best friend, Lisa, picked me...

Home Again, Home Again

September 28, 2021

There's an old nursery rhyme called "To Market, To Market." The couplet from it that people tend to know is: "To market, to market, to buy a fat pig,Home...

September 23, 2021

For the past week or so, I've been thinking about what this first post-US trip newsletter would be about. Maybe I would write about how it seems like, no...

I'm Flying to the US in ONE Week

September 1, 2021

Assuming everything goes smoothly, I’ll be boarding a flight to Boston next week. I’m looking forward to seeing my mom and visiting the beach in Rhode...

A Lovely Houseguest

August 31, 2021

I didn’t write a newsletter yesterday because, as I mentioned last Thursday, E’s sister, Far, was in town for the weekend. Far lives in Hawai’i, so it was...

August 26, 2021

I'm trying to decide if I should quit my job. As I mentioned in yesterday's newsletter, it's part-time and provides my days with some structure. It also...

August 25, 2021

In her role as the Dowager Countess on Downton Abbey, Maggie Smith once delivered the memorable and oft-quoted line, “what is a week-end?” Her character is...

A Spicy Hot Taskmaster Take (Part 2)

August 24, 2021

In yesterday’s newsletter, I mentioned that E and I have been watching Taskmaster, a British comedy game show. And something that recently struck me about...

A Spicy Hot Taskmaster Take (Part 1)

August 23, 2021

On a recommendation from our friend RJ, E and I have started watching Taskmaster, a British game show where comedians compete in a series of bizarre and...

die Dachterrasse

August 19, 2021

One of the best things about our new apartment is the balcony. Our old place had a balcony - they're pretty common in Berlin, and in European architecture,...

I'm Flying to the US in 3 Weeks

August 18, 2021

And I feel really weird about it. (Content warning: this is another pandemic-centric newsletter so please feel free to skip it and take care of yourself if...

August 17, 2021

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and had to grab an extra blanket for the bed because my toes were cold. This morning it is gray and windy in...

Things that are just nice

August 16, 2021

Last week, I videochatted with a friend who I hadn’t spoken to in quite a while. He and I met during our freshman year of high school, dated for a hot...

Lately I’ve been listening to the podcast Queersplaining. On a recent episode, the host, Callie Wright, talked about how they had started taking Wellbutrin...

In Search of Queer Joy (Part 4)

This is it. Today is the day. The time is now. For today's newsletter, I'm going to list (in no particular order) as many joyful queer moments and places and...

Some Thoughts on Writing This Newsletter

I’ve now written three issues of this newsletter under the title “In Search of Queer Joy,” and I’m quite pleased with how parts one and two turned out. I...

We're morning people now

At this point, my husband E and I have been jokingly saying "we're morning people now" for about a week. "Oh boy, 9pm, better get to bed. We're morning...

A Moving Interlude

An interlude about moving, that is. Not a particularly emotionally stirring interlude. Because I'm so exhausted this week and I don't have the energy for...

In Search of Queer Joy (Part 3)

In the previous issue of this newsletter, we left off with the question: Where is your queer joy? So… let’s talk about Janelle Monáe. If I had to credit my...

In Search of Queer Joy (Part 2)

Last year, on a video call with Lisa (who I mentioned in the previous newsletter) and our friends, Jack and Kit, I expressed my frustration around my newly...

In Search of Queer Joy (Part 1)

A couple of my friends came out last year and they were so excited to be embracing their true selves. They were so joyful about their newfound queerness and...

Lying Under the Bed Like a Plank of Wood

Over the weekend, I watched season two of Mae Martin's Netflix show Feel Good, which came out last month. Season one came out in March 2020, but I didn't...

It's a newsletter! I've started it more or less on a whim and I'm grateful to you for reading it! Last night, my husband, E, and I were talking about...