Weekdays
I'm trying to decide if I should quit my job. As I mentioned in yesterday's newsletter, it's part-time and provides my days with some structure. It also provides me and E with some additional income, but it only pays $15/hour, and E is still very much the 'breadwinner,' which, boy, do I have a lot of feelings about.
Annnnnd I just spent the last 20 minutes or so thinking about those feelings instead of writing so this is probably going to be a pretty short newsletter...
With the exception of the four years that I worked at the Museum of Science in Boston, I've spent my post-college years trying (and usually failing) to convince people to pay me for my writing. It has been discouraging, to say the least. I really expected to build a career for myself in my twenties, but instead I've found myself in my early thirties unsure of what I want to do or how to begin doing it.
I was planning to stick with this part-time job while I figured those questions out, but then the job changed.
I'm a virtual assistant and I primarily help clients manage their emails. The company I work for had paired me with two clients, both of whom were bad fits for me because they run businesses that don't align with my values (a lawyer specializing in debt collection and an accountant for super rich people), but I was making it work. Then a couple of weeks ago, the less shitty of my two clients decided to hire a full-time executive assistant and no longer use our services. This meant that starting on September 1st, I would only have the client that I really dislike, and I decided that wasn't going to work for me.
On Tuesday, I sent a message to my supervisors saying that this client is really hard to work with (which is true - it's not just that his business is gross, it's also a disorganized mess) and they either needed to pay me more or replace me on his account. They decided to replace me. And, while they're willing to assign me to new clients who are a better fit values-wise, one of my supervisors asked if I think that would help or if I'm just not enjoying the day-to-day tasks that make up this job.
And the answer to both of those questions is yes. I do think it would help if I liked my clients, but that probably won't change the fact that I don't particularly like being a virtual assistant.
So, do I cut my losses and go? Or do I try again with new clients?
Quitting feels scary to me for a few reasons. It makes me feel like I lack discipline - this is my third part-time job in a row that I've done for a few months before leaving or being let go because it was a bad fit. Not working isn't great for my self-worth and I'm nervous about heading into the cold, dark months of the year without a job.
So, maybe I should stick with my original plan of working this job that I don't really like while I apply for other things. I don't know, but at this point I've spent 30 more minutes writing this newsletter than I intended to so it's time to hit send.
I'm taking Monday off from writing this newsletter because E's sister is in town for the weekend, but I'll be back with issue #19 on Tuesday, August 31st.