Utah
Over the weekend I started listening to the audiobook Real Queer America: LGBT Stories from Red States by Samantha Allen. I first heard about this book from a 2019 episode of the podcast Call Your Girlfriend, but I'm glad I didn't get around to reading it until now. I was looking for a new nonfiction audiobook to listen to that would check some of the same boxes as the one I just finished: a memoir focused around a topic that interests me, but doesn't hit so close to home that it stresses me out, and which includes some reporting or research. I'm almost a quarter of the way through Real Queer America and it's exactly what I was looking for - some real 'right book at the right time' vibes.
In the introduction and the first chapter, Allen mostly shares her own story, which includes leaving the Mormon church, transitioning, and living her best queer life primarily in red states, as context for the rest of the book. She argues (backed up by research) that young, queer people aren't leaving red states for coastal safe havens (New York, San Francisco) at the rates that they used to. This is partly because they can't afford it, but it's also because people are building vibrant communities wherever they are. The rest of the book chronicles a road trip Allen took across the US, visiting these communities and interviewing the people she meets there.
I was listening to chapter two this morning, which takes place in Provo, Utah (home to Brigham Young University), where Allen's road trip begins. I've never been to Provo, but I have road tripped around Utah and spent a couple of days in Salt Lake City, and I surprised myself with how much I loved the state. In part, it was just a really great and much-needed vacation - E and I stayed in fun (and weird!) accommodations, went on wonderful hikes in the national parks, ate really great meals, and were awed by the diversity of the landscapes we drove through.
Our friend Jack is from neighboring Arizona and has talked about his profound love for the natural environment there. I remember commenting to him when we got home to Boston, "I get it now. How can you stand to live here when that is the landscape you come from?!" He laughed and admitted that sometimes it's hard, but that Boston is also home.
After that trip to Utah, I idly looked at jobs at the Museum of Natural History in Salt Lake City. There was one I was qualified for, but it felt strange to even consider moving across the country for a job that only paid $30k in a field that I wasn't sure I wanted to stay in. E reminded me that we had already discussed it and decided that, if we were to move to Utah, it would be to live near the national parks, not to live in Salt Lake City. I didn't apply for the job.
Listening to Real Queer America is reminding me of that road trip and of considering (even fleetingly!) moving to a red state. Hearing the stories of queer folks sticking around and loving their homes and working to make them better and safer is really lovely and inspiring. It's the kind of energy I would want to be around if I were to move back to the US. Allen contrasts this energy with liberal apathy and a lack of urgency that she and others have encountered in blue states. It's not as simple as 'activists in red states are fighting harder than activists in blue states,' but activism looks different in different places, and I appreciate Allen for drawing my attention to that.
E and I have no plans to move back to the US. But I've enjoyed the handful of visits that I've made to the southern US over the years. And I'm enjoying learning about the queer folks who call that part of the country home. My white, liberal, New England upbringing taught me to write off whole swaths of the US, and it has been a pleasure to unlearn that pretension as an adult.
Unrelated FYI: if you didn't get a new issue of On / Off in your inbox last Wednesday, please check your spam folder. The newsletter that day was super short and included several hyperlinks, which meant gmail wasn't a fan.