I’m drafting a novel! I’m still in the first twenty thousand word heady good feelings of it, by the time I write to you again I maybe crying myself to sleep from the middle doldrums. I've been striving to keep myself writing everyday, keeping the momentum going and its helped me to feel more in flow when I go into my writing sessions. The last two years have been hard for me writing wise, its been hard to get words out even if I have ideas. I'm really enjoying this period where it feels like writing is what I'm supposed to be doing and everything else is to keep me sustained for this.
But I can already feel fear and imposter syndrome infecting me the way it always does. No matter what you're outlet is I'm sure you've felt it before: that voice coming from behind you whispering "You can't do this. You're not talented/smart/capable/insert your word here enough. Just give up. You can't get hurt if you don't play the game."
Some days that voice seduces me and I can't do anything. And sometimes I have the strength to say a very polite "No, ma'am" and "shut up". It's hard to say which me will win.
Anyway, about the project.
I am a pure panster so where we’re headed isn’t entirely clear but my basic premise was what if a woman from an isolated community came out to see what was happening in the wider world and discovered all the ways that the rest of her world is getting it wrong. There’s a toxic love interest and a more positive one (hmm is this one of my things?) because I love a romance sub-plot but its mostly a casual low stakes exploration of the world and questioning it. We’ll see if the stakes get raised as the toxic love interest gets involved but so far this is where I’m going. Hoping for at least 90K words.
I’m unagented so focusing on this novel in the hopes to edit and get one. Maybe I’ll talk soon about how I think about my writing goals.
