Your Ex Has Something Important to Tell You
I am donating a signed copy of my recent thriller, When She Left, and a personalized letter from your ex, specifically your ex who dumped you and is pining to have you back.
You just tell me their name, how long you were together, and I will write a fake letter from them to you, begging for you to come back and making them sound ridiculous in the process.
Think of how smug you’ll feel! Even if it’s just for a moment. But still! He/she/they were such a loser, and this proves what everyone told you – you truly could do so much better.
What’s all this then?
That’s my writerly donation for an auction on behalf of trans people and all the crap they’re going through. All proceeds will be given to the Transgender Law Center in support of their fight against the evisceration of trans rights.
Why are you doing this? You’re not trans!
It’s a little dismaying that our empathy has run so low that, unless something directly affects us, we shouldn’t feel obligated to care about it. I’m not trans or gay, but I’m also not in favor of people being persecuted for who they are. IT’S A QUIRK OF MINE.
Funny story I’ve told before: This reminds me of what a woman once said when I mentioned that it seemed like more women than men were active in environmental causes. I asked her why she thought that was, and she told me, “It’s because we’re not fucking idiots.”
How’d you get involved with this group?
I was there from the start, amigo. A group of writers and I thought it would be a nifty idea to do something to push back against hate, and we tossed around ideas until, finally, we settled on an auction. And then our little group started making plans and spreadsheets.
There were a lot of spreadsheets.
Did anyone join in? Like…and I don’t want to be rude, but anyone more famous than you? You’re not famous, is what I’m implying.
That’s the thing! I didn’t know if anyone would join in. Honestly, I thought we’d get, maybe, a dozen people.
As of today, the list of participating authors offering items you can bid on includes David Baldacci, Gillian Flynn, Roxane Gay, Louise Penny, S.A. Cosby, Scott Turow, Walter Mosley, Charlaine Harris, Lisa Gardner, Ann Cleeves, William Kent Krueger, Congresswoman Sarah McBride, and more. SO FAMOUS. And organizations joined in, like Bouchercon and Left Coast Crime and the International Thriller Writers, and so did top-tier agents and jewelers and bookstores and so many more.
In total, more than 200 items are available for you to bid on.
What can I win? I like winning things very much, and McDonalds doesn’t do that Monopoly thing anymore.
You can win signed books and consults and advice and gift baskets and the service of a personal librarian and artwork and a custom short story and clothing and collectibles and…bro, just check it out for yourself. You can win so much!
Also, my next auction is going to be to bring back the Monopoly game at McDonalds. I was SO CLOSE to a free shake.
And you’re offering to write a letter from my ex? That’s your item?
I am and it is. I will make that person apologize and beg to return. Do you want them to have grown a tail? I can do that! You give me some information and I’ll get to work. You’re going to feel so smug after reading it that you may even call them up and refuse them, and they’ll be like, “Wha?”
When does the auction open, and how long does it last?
It opened this morning and runs through April 1. Check out the site, and spread the word and the love and the money.
We need you.
EA
I need to say thanks to everyone who showed up on a rainy Thursday night to see me and Lauren Francis-Sharma and Alice McDermott and Hannah Oliver Depp paneling for the final event of DC Reads. Being selected for this program was such an honor and I loved every minute of it and I’ll never shut up about it. And I also need to thank the wonderful people at the Manuscript to Marketplace Conference for putting on such a great conference, and I had a blast presenting to the attendees. If you’re an aspiring writer, I recommend checking it out.
Coming up, I’ll be at the Barrelhouse Conference (Conversations and Connections) on April 12, paneling with Holly Karapetkova and Sean Murphy about “Writing as an Act of Resistance,” which, you know, is kind of my thing. Holly and Sean are forces in the world of writing, and this conference is always so much fun. If you want to go, register soon, because they’re selling out.
And then, on April 24, I’m reading at a Virginia Noir at the Bar at Elaine’s in Alexandria, hosted by Alan Orloff. I have something new I’m excited to read, and the lineup is crazy good. Check out the info below, and come out to hang and hear and eat.
Finally, this is a ways away, but the registration is selling out fast. I’ll be paneling at the Kwame Alexander Writers Lab on October 23! This is so cool and I was delighted to be asked and Kwame Alexander is such a great figure in writing. If you’re interested in learning more and registering, visit this link.
I met Radha Vatsal through her writing back when I worked with ITW. I ran a site for aspiring and debut writers, and Radha’s debut came across my desk (I didn’t have a desk, this is a writer’s tool known as “lying”). I absolutely loved her book, still remember it, and became a lifelong fan. But Radha doesn’t just write kickass novels. She’s also written articles for the Atlantic and Kirkus and CrimeReads and other top-tier publications, and she’s come back to novels with No. 10 Doyers Street:
New York City, 1907.
Archana Morley knows what it’s like to be an outsider. As a woman journalist from India making her way through the cutthroat world of tabloid newspapers, she’s always on the lookout for untold stories.
In the aftermath of a bloody shooting in Chinatown, Archana finds her most challenging subject—the dreaded gangster Mock Duck. But she realizes that things are not as they seem when the mayor declares Chinatown must be demolished, and the authorities raid Mock’s home and tear apart his family. She embarks on a quest for the truth that leads her from gritty alleys to the back-room politics of City Hall and beyond.
Inspired by real events, No.10 Doyers Street is a gripping novel of New York City on the cusp of modernity, as seen through a unique immigrant perspective.
Obviously, I had to ask Radha who she would kiss, marry, kill from her novel, and she played along:
Kiss: That’s easy—Mock Duck! Sure, he’s a Chinatown gangster in his late twenties who’s been accused of every crime in the book, but he’s sharp—he knows the law inside out—and uses it to his advantage so that he’s never been convicted. And yes, he has a reputation for ruthlessness, but he’s also a family man who’s devoted to his six-year old daughter and is going to fight back tooth and nail if anything happens to her. He’s the kind of guy who keeps you on your toes, keeps you guessing.
Marry: I’d have to say Archana (Archie) Morley. She’s a woman journalist from India, living in New York City in the 1900s. She’s persistent and can be difficult—but that’s no surprise when you’re an outsider even in a city that’s full of them. What matters is that Archie is fierce: she cares about the little guy, doesn’t take BS from anyone, and is wildly independent.
Kill: I’m struggling with that one. Maybe the mayor, Georgie B.—because he wants to get rid of Chinatown and “clean up the city”? But he also has some good ideas: more schools, more parks, a clean water supply. So, it’s complicated. Same with Tom Lee, the self-proclaimed “mayor of Chinatown,” and Mock Duck’s sworn enemy. Yes, Tom Lee has blood on his hands… but then so does Mock. Sigh. Why can’t people just be good or bad? Why do they have to be so complicated?
You know what’s not complicated? Me. Maybe it’s all men? I stared at a tree the other day for, like, ten minutes because I thought it looked like a giant hammer. Anyway, thanks, Radha! To find out more about Radha Vatsal and her work, visit her web site.
It's giveaway time! The winner of a copy of Radha Vatsal’s No. 10 Doyers Street is:
justcyn_______ie2@gmail.com
Congrats, and I'll send you an email with more information soon!
Usually I use this space to beg for tips, but I’d rather you went to the auction site and placed a bid for something that strikes your fancy. That’s a British term! So if you pick my item and your ex is from the UK, I have it sorted, mate!