Understanding Sammi
By E.A. Aymar (also E.A. Barres)
Understanding Sammi
I was looking at different adoptable dogs online a month ago, wondering which would make the best pet. Not that unusual an activity in itself aside from the fact that, five hours earlier, my wife and I had put Sammi, our beloved bulldog of eleven years, to sleep.
Her death was surprising and quick. She was older, and she had ailments, but they were minor. Nothing she suffered was life-threatening.
My wife took Sammi’s loss the hardest. I’ve come to learn that my wife tends to understand the weight of a situation much faster, and more accurately, than I do. And so she often gives in to grief or anger with more immediacy than me. I felt sad when Sammi died, but I looked at my wife’s anguish and realized there was more than what I felt.
I still can’t believe I looked for other dogs five hours later.
The simple reason, the one I gave myself, was because Sammi left a huge hole in our lives. Although nothing could replace her, a new dog would bring that unique sense of life and energy that only they provide. Sammi would understand that. That’s what I told myself.
That’s also what I told my wife. She sort of understood it, but I don’t think she fully believed it.
Sammi’s ashes arrived in the mail days after she passed. They came in a wooden box, the bottom panel screwed in. I didn’t tell my wife they had arrived, because I knew she wouldn’t want to know. I took the box to the backyard, unscrewed it, and took out the plastic bag with her white ashes. I dug a small hole in our garden, knelt in the dirt, poured Sammi into the hole. Then I covered her ashes with dirt and said a simple prayer.
And I looked up to the kitchen window to make sure my wife hadn’t seen me.
Our seven-year old son wasn’t distraught about Sammi, in that unpredictable way children often react. The two of them, truthfully, never got along. Aside from our son, Sammi was the only other living being in the house we held and kissed, and I could understand (especially as an only child myself) his feelings of jealousy. And maybe the same was true of Sammi. I’ve often heard new parents, who have a dog before they have a child, talk wonderingly about how the dog likes to stay in the new baby’s room, a habit the parents ascribe to its protectiveness.
But I think the dog is simply trying to be part of the love it was once fully given, to be part of the room where its parents are now speaking softly and sweetly to someone else.
I think dogs feel the loss. Even if they don’t quite understand it.
It rained the other night. The afternoon temperature was in the 90s and, as often happens with unseasonably hot days, thunder emerged with the night. I looked out the window. And I realized, after several moments, that I was staring at the spot where I’d buried Sammi.
And that anguish came, suddenly and violently. I felt tears and a terrible sense of need, grief that she was alone in the backyard.
We decided not to get a new dog right away. My wife, simply put, “wants to wait.”
As for me, I want to get another dog when I want one, rather than when I need one. And then, when that happens, it’ll be lovely to have that energy back in our home, the excitement and constant surprise that comes with a pet. And then the love.
I don’t want to be there yet.
Sammi was eleven years old when she passed. We got her when she was puppy. She fell asleep on my wife’s lap the first time we drove her home, and we looked at her small, foot-sized, softly snoring body, and smiled the entire time.
Sammi fell asleep gently, one final time, with my wife’s hand stroking her ear. We told her we loved her. I think she understood that.
That was the beginning of the month, good news came at the end. Washingtonian Magazine included They're Gone in their list of 13 Great Beach Reads. That was so nice and surprising, and it's lovely to be recognized by the media in your area. As any writer will tell you, that's certainly not a given, and these publications that have highlighted They're Gone are ones I've long admired. It still feels weird to see my work in their pages.
One other note - homies, I need some Amazon reviews. If you've read They're Gone, I would absolutely love it if you could hop on over to Amazon and/or GoodReads and leave a quick review about the book.
(Hell, even if you haven't read it, it's probably fine. Just talk about how good-looking and charismatic I am. In for a penny...)
Also, speaking of Amazon, they selected They're Gone for another Kindle Deal. So, if you missed out a few months ago, you can add the book to your Kindle (in June) for just $1.99! That's a savings of...some big percentage! I'm not a math guy.
Click the graphic below to leave a review or snatch up a copy for your Kindle.
Arsenic and Adobo
Mia P. Manansala
When Lila Macapagal moves back home to recover from a horrible breakup, her life seems to be following all the typical rom-com tropes. She's tasked with saving her Tita Rosie's failing restaurant, and she has to deal with a group of matchmaking aunties who shower her with love and judgment. But when a notoriously nasty food critic (who happens to be her ex-boyfriend) drops dead moments after a confrontation with Lila, her life quickly swerves from a Nora Ephron romp to an Agatha Christie case.
With the cops treating her like she's the one and only suspect, and the shady landlord looking to finally kick the Macapagal family out and resell the storefront, Lila's left with no choice but to conduct her own investigation. Armed with the nosy auntie network, her barista best bud, and her trusted Dachshund, Longanisa, Lila takes on this tasty, twisted case and soon finds her own neck on the chopping block…
Zero Island
Chris Bauer
The Hawaiian mob isn’t dead; they moved to Philly. And now one of their own has fled.
Hawaiian mob fixer Kaipo Mawpaw is incognito somewhere in the South Pacific, and she wants to stay that way.
A mobster wants her back and is willing to buy a small Hawaiian island that isn’t for sale to make it happen: Miakamii, Kaipo’s birthplace, where seashell jewelry made by the island’s indigenous people are worth small fortunes, where there might be a cure for dementia, and where its inhabitants have been sheltered from outsiders since the 1860s.
But the island’s quiet native citizenry is now under siege as bodies of current and former inhabitants start piling up.
Philo Trout, retired Navy SEAL, current crime scene cleaning business owner, and reluctant tourist, is about to get the vacation of a lifetime.
The Next Wife
Kaira Rouda
Kate Nelson had it all. A flourishing company founded with her husband, John; a happy marriage; and a daughter, Ashlyn. The picture-perfect family. Until John left for another woman. Tish is half his age. Ambitious. She’s cultivated a friendship with Ashlyn. Tish believes she’s won.
She’s wrong.
Tish Nelson has it all. Youth, influence, a life of luxury, and a new husband. But the truth is, there’s a lot of baggage. Namely, his first wife—and suspicions of his infidelity. After all, that’s how she got John. Maybe it’s time for a romantic getaway, far from his vindictive ex. If Kate plans on getting John back, Tish is one step ahead of her.
She thinks.
But what happens next is something neither Kate nor Tish saw coming. As best-laid plans come undone, there’s no telling what a woman will do in the name of love—and revenge.
You Will Remember Me
Hannah Mary McKinnon
He wakes up on a deserted beach in Maryland with a gash on his head and wearing only swim trunks. He can’t remember who he is. Everything—his identity, his life, his loved ones—has been replaced by a dizzying fog of uncertainty. But returning to his Maine hometown in search of the truth uncovers more questions than answers.
Lily Reid thinks she knows her boyfriend, Jack. Until he goes missing one night, and her frantic search reveals that he’s been lying to her since they met, desperate to escape a dark past he’d purposely left behind.
Maya Scott has been trying to find her estranged stepbrother, Asher, since he disappeared without a trace. Having him back, missing memory and all, feels like a miracle. But with a mutual history full of devastating secrets, how far will Maya go to ensure she alone takes them to the grave?
Dead of Winter
Stephen Mack Jones
A harsh cold winter blows into Lake Pines, and with it, the murder of a much-loved local artist.
The grim discovery of the artist's body sends chills through the small town, as the local police rush to find the killer and put the residents at ease.
Lack of evidence at the murder scene; suspects that hold a trail of deceit; as well as one of the area's worst blizzards all threaten to leave the case unsolved. However, Dr. Kerry Dearborne, the local coroner, is determined to find the murderer.
As she gets closer to revealing the true motive of the killer, a shocking secret threatens the lives of those left behind as well as those investigating the murder. Hidden secrets of a past life leave Kerry wondering if those involved are focused on betrayal or redemption.
And has her asking, “Can someone be forgiven of murder?”
Leaving the Scene
Dana King
The more things change, the more they stay the same in Penns River. Stush Napierkowski has retired, replaced by retired Boston PD captain Brendan Sullivan. Nancy Snyder was promoted to deputy chief. New officers join the department.
Crime pays no attention. A woman dies in a hit-and-run the night before Sullivan officially takes over. Patty Polcyn was seen by plenty of people while in the company of a man no one recognized, who may—or may not—drive a car consistent with tire marks left at the scene. The investigation demands an intensive search that requires manpower Penns River doesn’t have and loses steam as the day-to-day concerns of police work require immediate attention: domestic disputes, petty theft, not so petty theft, armed robbery, a visit from the Dixie mafia to shake down the town’s moonshine dealers, and a few things that are the responsibility of the police only because no one else takes care of them.
Sullivan doesn’t want the first homicide on his watch to be an open file and tasks Teresa Shimp, the most junior detective in a squad already down one, to spend as much time as she can on it. It’s Teresa’s first gig as primary homicide investigator. She sticks with it, going back over things to see what might make more sense as her knowledge of the case’s facts expands until she has a eureka moment.
Sullivan’s approach differs from Stush’s enough to cause friction in the department, and a personal dilemma for lead detective Ben “Doc” Dougherty. Doc also has his parents’ failing health, a dramatic change in the domestic situation of two young men he has become close to, and finding an old friend has colored outside the lines vying for his attention.
Penns River’s cast changes, as do the roles they play. The job is still the job.
Radicals
Nik Korpon
Jay Brodsky is an enigma. To his fellow agents at the FBI’s cybercrimes division. To his new partner. Even to himself. For someone whose skills are beyond question, he often seems just on the edge of losing control. He seldom speaks about his family and his personal life, but he seems to be hiding something. And he has an unusual obsession with even the most obscure punk rock.
So when a mysterious cyber-terrorist organization begins erasing Americans’ medical debt, Jay must put his personal issues aside to focus on an attack that threatens to destabilize the US economy. But when the trail leads to his own family, Jay will be forced to confront everything he never knew about his parents and his long-missing sister and decide where his true loyalties lie.
With his country and his mind racing toward a breaking point, can Jay find the answers before everything descends into chaos?
The Black Ghost
Alex Segura
Meet Lara Dominguez—a troubled Creighton cops reporter obsessed with the city's debonair vigilante—The Black Ghost. With the help of a mysterious cyber-informant named LONE, Lara's inched closer to uncovering the Ghost's identity. But as she searched for the breakthrough story she desperately needs, Lara will have to navigate the corruption of her city, the uncertainties of virtue, and her own personal demons. Will she have the strength to be part of the solution—or will she become the problem?
I've known Priscilla Paton and her award-winning Twin Cities Mysteries for quite some time now, and I love the approach she took with her turn in "Two Writers You Should Read." Most writers typically recommend other crime fiction writers, but Priscilla went with a non-fiction author, and non-fiction is one of the most used, and under-mentioned, tools writers employ. We'll discuss our research and occasionally mention the books we read, but our most enthusiastic praise is often reserved for other fiction writers - understandable, given that, in most cases, fiction is what has most deeply inspired our choice of profession. So I'm happy that Priscilla went in the other direction, and I'm looking forward to checking out her recommendation.
And the writer Priscilla Paton recommends?
For nonfiction on twisty minds, I recommend Maria Konnikova's The Biggest Bluff: How I Learned to Pay Attention, Master Myself, and Win. The book’s a dramatic take on how to turn yourself from poker ignoramus to poker champion in a year. That is, if you’re as brilliant as Konnikova, whose real subjects are deceit, luck, and control. She’s a lively (and intellectual) resource on devious thinking, susceptibility, and mental survival, which she also explores in Mastermind: How to Think Like Sherlock Holmes and The Confidence Game.
To learn more about each writer, click the photos above.
Thriller Authors Panel
This is going to be SUCH a fan event! I'll be in conversation with some of my favorite people/writers in crime fiction. Me and Hank Phillippi Ryan and Hannah Mary McKinnon and Kellye Garrett will be in conversation to talk about writing thrillers, the publishing industry, our work and processes, weird dreams we've been having, etc. And, two things. Astute readers will notice Hannah's newest book, You Will Remember Me, listed above, and we will absolutely be talking about that (and it's fantastic, I read an advanced copy). And, second, Hank and Hannah run the wonderful "First Chapters Fun" series where, each week, they read the first chapter of a book. It's a group with a devoted, enthusiastic following, and you should absolutely check it out. I don't have a link for this event yet, but I guarantee First Chapter Fun will post one closer to the date. More information can be found HERE.
It's contest time! The monthly contest winner wins copies of the books listed in my "Two Writers You Should Read" segment. And, this month, Priscilla Paton has generously offered to give away the two books in her Twin Cities Mysteries! So, for this month, the winner of Should Grace Fail, When Privacy Dies, and The Biggest Bluff is:
kathy@b______books.com
Congrats, and keep your eye out for a separate e-mail from me!
I did a podcast with my friend Melissa Colasante about her new book, Call Me Elizabeth Lark, for Skylight Books. We talk about her book, our publishing paths, writing processes, all that stuff. You can check it out HERE.
Until next time, stay safe. Much love to all of you, and Happy Reading!