Fifty

50? YOU’RE FIFTY?

That’s right. As of today, I am 50 years old.

YOU’RE SO OLD. SHOULD THIS BE IN A BIGGER FONT? ARE YOU SENDING THIS FROM A MUSEUM? DO YOU…I mean, Happy Birthday!

Thank you, thank you.

How’s 50 hitting you? Is it basically more hair coming out of different parts of your body?

Basically. But this birthday has left me feeling…weird, for the past couple of weeks. I couldn’t really figure out why. I’m not someone who’s ever cared about getting older. But I was a bit restless as this particular birthday approached.

How’s the new convertible?

Ha ha, I can’t afford that. I mean, I’ve been feeling dissatisfied.

How so, Big Ed? Talk to me.

For the past 49 years, I’ve always felt like I had my life ahead of me. Now I feel like I passed that window. Instead, I’m looking back at what I didn’t accomplish.

Is this because you didn’t win the Anthony Award at Bouchercon last weekend?

No, I was fine with that. This is my fourth Anthony nomination and I’ve never won one. I’m good with that. Although I don’t like having anything in common with the Buffalo Bills, being nominated for an award four times is, honestly, a rare honor.

So you’re feeling like a big old losey-loser?

That’s the thing. Not really?

I think I’ve accomplished a lot of the things I wanted. I’ve had the good reviews in the high-profile places. I’ve become close friends with writers who were heroes of mine. I’ve written some short stories that I genuinely thought were good, and novels people seem to like. I’ve served on boards and taken stands. I’ve had the luck to mentor some outstanding writers. I’ve worked with the best editors in the business and my dream agent.

And I remember in the early 2000s, when I was writing books that would never be published, and praying that one day I would have just ONE book published. That was all I wanted. To go beyond the form rejections of agents and someday be on the other side of the crowd at author signings.

Just one book.

So that was the goal?

Truthfully, the goal was never to just publish one book. That was the elusive first step.

What’s the goal? I don’t know. To become a USA Today or NYT Bestseller or Reese pick? Yeah, I’d love that, of course, all of that.

I’ve often written about how indebted I am to the writer and reviewer Alan Cheuse, who was a wonderful, albeit hard-as-hell, mentor of mine.

And I remember once when someone asked Alan about his early days as a writer, and he said that he made a goal for himself to publish a short story in the New Yorker by the time he was 40.

His work first appeared in the New Yorker when he was 39.

Admirable!

It is, but Cheuse’s goal seemed to me - particularly once I began publishing - a little foolish. So much in publishing is beyond our control. You may write a truly wonderful book…and it may never be published. Alan could have written a story good enough for the New Yorker, and they still could have passed on it. The goal, for me, would have been to write a story that I knew, deep within my BS-proof soul, was good enough for that publication. And to hopefully someday be published by them.

How did we get on this subject? Isn’t this about your birthday? Shouldn’t you be eating cake?

I am eating cake. And, in thinking about this particular birthday, I realized that I’ve set goals for myself in the past, but they were generally independent of forces outside of myself. I never said I’d publish by a certain age, or by a certain press, or guarantee any accomplishment that’s subject to someone else’s decision.

I want to change that mindset.

And, with that change, I feel way better about turning 5-0.

Oh yeah? What’s the new goal? Are you running a marathon? Finally getting on Wheel of Fortune?

Marathons are dumb and Pat Sajak never forgave me after I catfished him. So this goal is writing-related. Look, I’m out of contract. My two book deal with Thomas and Mercer ended and, although I’m working on a new book, it’s months from being completed.

But by the time I turn 51, I want my new book under contract.

I’m excited about it! It’s a psychological thriller, different than the hardboiled label my books often, and probably incorrectly, get assigned. It makes me happy and it’s stretching me more creatively than I expected. It’s a challenge, but a fun one. In a way, this book reminds me of the early days of writing, which reminds me of the youthful days of first love.

Good goal, but you know what they say: Publishing often moves more like a yacht than a speedboat.

I don’t think that’s a saying? But you’re sort of right. I don’t know if this goal is possible. Publishing takes a while and, even if I can finish this novel in a few months, selling can often take a long time.

I may not make my deadline of next September 5th.

But if I don’t, it won’t be because I let down my end of the writer’s bargain.

I think, if there’s one thing I’ve realized in these 50 years, sometimes it’s important to be a little foolish.

EA

I mentioned this in my last newsletter, but I reviewed Attica Locke’s newest novel, Guide Me Home, for the Washington Post last weekend. You can check out that review HERE.

And, if you’re a reader in Australia or the United Kingdom, GUESS WHAT GUV’NOR? No Home for Killers is on-sale this month for just a farthing! Check it out HERE in the UK and HERE in Australia.

And, if you’re in the United States and chapped with envy at missing out at this international deal, get your own copy of my bestest-selling book ever HERE for just $5. Look, it’s my birthday, and you didn’t get me anything else. Very selfish, IMHO.

If you’re a member of Sisters-in-Crime, you can tune in online this Saturday at 1 pm ET for an interview with Magen from Bonechilling Books (one of the top Bookstagrammers out there) about “How to Bookstagram!” I’ll be interviewing Magen about working with Bookstagrammers, making your Instagram profile Bookstagram-friendly, collaborating with these enthusiastic book fans in support of your crime fiction, and using your fiftieth birthday as a way to shamelessly sell books.

This event is sponsored by the Chesapeake Chapter of SinC, but open to other chapters as well. Learn more and register (again, for Sisters in Crime members only) HERE.

It's giveaway time! The winner of ANY of the books I’ve written about in my 2024 newsletters is:

cam****@yahoo.com

Congrats, and I'll send you an email soon!

Normally I promote other writers and books in my newsletter, in the form of interviews, games, or recs, but this one was just for me. Back to all that crime fiction goodness with the next one, I promise.

And thanks for reading Crime Fiction Works. I’ve mentioned before how much this newsletter’s enthusiastic readership means to me. Newsletters are obviously promotional but, truthfully, the best promotional outlets are the ones you actually enjoy (rather than, like, Twitter). I really love writing this newsletter and engaging with the writers and readers out there. Thanks for making me happy. I hope CFW does the same for you.