A Winter Killing
Holiday crime fiction! Plus Tara Laskowski plays "Kiss, Marry, Kill!" And I'll see YOU this Sunday at DC's Virtual Noir at the Bar...oh wait, you need to turn your camera off.
You’re not one of those lame middle-aged dads who’s really into the holidays, are you? Those guys are the wors...
I SO AM. The best time of year, for me and for the world, and according to science probably, is fall to winter. Starting October 1st, I begin subjecting my family to holiday music. I destroy our lawn with stakes for inflatable beings. I hide our leering Elf on the Shelf all over the house. It’s not uncommon to find strands of tinsel in my hairbrush.
There is NO ESCAPING my relentless cheer.
Gross.
And this year, I’ve decided to get ALL UP in everyone’s stockings.
What…what are you talking about there?
You know how, in my upcoming thriller When She Left, one of the protagonists named Lucky Wilson is a realtor slash hitman slash holiday enthusiast?
I do. Also, VERY subtle plug for the book.
Well, I wrote a short story about Lucky Wilson, and the origin story of his love of Christmas villages.
Uh huh.
And, and and and, I got my pal, jazz singer Sara Jones, to do an audio reading of the short story!
Oh, I like that! Whenever you do events with her, she totally steals the show!
Well, yes. But, even better? She sings a song featured in the story. And it’s BEAUTIFUL. So good! She sang every part of the chorus and an engineer mixed her voices together. I’ve listened to it, like, 100 times.
You’re not making it weird, are you? Are you freaking her out with your fan-boying?
Well, I did tell her that, if I was dying in a car accident, I’d want that song to be playing on the radio while I bled out.
And what did she say to that?
She never replied but, the point is, the song is LOVELY. It’s so good that I made it a separate download so people can add it to their holiday playlists.
How much are you charging?
It’s all free! I should probably charge something, but I also like giving Christmas gifts. So this gift is for you, my people. Like I said, I’m all up in your stocking!
I don’t think you should say that.
I just love Christmas!
But aren’t you worried everyone’s going to add Sara’s song, and not your story, to their holiday playlist?
Well, the story is about 38 minutes long and not really the kind of thing you can “Christmas carol”…although there’s no violence and it does have a Christmas message. You know what? You COULD sing it! No, that’s insane. Anyway, yes, you absolutely should add Sara’s song. And check out the story. I think you’ll like it.
You can hear Sara’s song and “A Winter Killing” HERE.
EA
Speaking of the holidays, it’s time for DC’s annual holiday Virtual Noir at the Bar! Or, as the kids are calling it, DCAHVNATB! It takes place this Sunday night at 7 pm ET and, in addition to local DMV studs Tara Laskowski (more on her in a minute) and James Grady, the lineup includes Amina Akhtar, Sara DiVello, Jennifer Anne Gordon, Sandra SG Wong, and a custom cocktail from Chantal Tseng! I love these events, and I’m so excited to bring this one to you. Register HERE!
This may surprise you, because it surprises me, but Tara Laskowski is one of my favorite people and writers. We tease each other on social media and at events but, honestly, there’s very few people I prefer spending time with. I consider a good friend someone who makes me happy just being in their presence. Tara is a good friend.
Although she’s a mediocre Words with Friends opponent.
She is, however, a superb writer. Tara got her start with two fantastic short story collections, and then turned to writing award-winning, celebrated domestic suspense. Her upcoming novel, The Weekend Retreat (Graydon House, December 26, 2023) was just called “a satisfying mash-up of Succession and Agatha Christie” by Publishers Weekly, and is another milestone in what’s destined to be a long, successful career.
(But don’t tell her I said that. Just tell her I called her a jerkface or something. It’s how we roll.)
And who would Tara Laskowski kiss, marry, and kill from The Weekend Retreat? I asked her and she included GRAPHICS! V. exciting!
Synopsis: Every year, the illustrious Van Ness siblings, heirs to a copper fortune, gather at their secluded winery estate for a joint birthday celebration. It's a tradition they've followed nearly all their lives, and now they are back with their significant others for a much-needed weekend of rest and relaxation, away from the public spotlight.
With lavish comforts, gorgeous scenery, and indulgent drinking, the trip should be the perfect escape. But it soon becomes clear that even a remote idyllic getaway can’t keep out the problems simmering in each of their lives. As old tensions are reignited, the three couples are pushed to the edge. Will their secrets destroy them, or will they destroy each other first? And who’s been watching them from beyond the vineyard gates?
When a torrential rainstorm hits, plunging them into darkness, the answers prove all too deadly…
Tara: Here's the thing about the Van Ness family: They are all rather unlikeable. I mean, they are very pretty and very sophisticated and they throw a great party, but at their core, they are all kind of assholes in their own special way.
That said, I love them all, because I know all their secrets and vulnerabilities and the stuff that keeps them awake at night.
So it's kind of hard to choose who I'd kiss, marry, and kill. But choose I must! So here you go:
Kiss: Lucas Quinn
Lucas is the brother-in-law. He's a tech guy, but he's hot in a rugged way and fairly easy-going in that he doesn't really give a shit what people think of him. He's also from PA originally and has a bit of scrappiness about him, or at least he thinks he does, which makes him more relatable. He'd be fun to make out with for a while and you wouldn't have to worry about him being clingy or weird afterward.
Marry: Elle Diamond Van Ness
If I have to be stuck with one of them for a long-term commitment (shudder), I guess Elle is my best bet. She's efficient and good with details, if a little Type A about it, and she's loyal to the core if you don't piss her off. We'd have lovely dinner parties and she'd always have fresh flowers and she knows a lot about wine--all of which I suck at, so maybe we'd compliment each other in that way.
Kill: Zach Van Ness
Ugh. Zach is so entitled and smug. He's such a golden boy, and everything's been handed to him his whole life. Sure, he loves his family, but when things go south, his loyalties skew more toward himself than anyone else. The other Van Nesses actually contribute something to making this family successful and well-known, but Zach is kind of an anchor holding them down. I imagine if we were near a big cliff and the angle was just right, it would be fairly easy to give a quick, hard shove and watch his face turn to surprise, then shock, as he plummeted downward, thinking how unfair life is.
You can find out more about Tara Laskowski and her work here.
The winner of this newsletter contest is dee___myr____@gmail.com! Congrats, and you’ve won ALL THREE of Tara’s novels! I’ll slide into your DMs (send you an email, so not exactly slide into your DMs) soon.
Until next time, much love and Happy Reading!