Dude, just love yourself
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Day 21: Premature
December 17, 2020
A few days ago I had a conversation with my boss — a copywriter who generated more than $50 million for our company last year. He has a sharp business mind,...
Day 20: Tears
December 9, 2020
At 23 I hired a life coach. In our first call together, he asked me about my goals. “If you could achieve only one thing from our time together, what would...
Day 19: Womb
December 7, 2020
As a teenager I slept in the same room where I was born. It wasn’t a hospital room. It was my bedroom. Fifteen years earlier, my mom spent 40 hours in and...
Day 18: Irony
November 23, 2020
It wasn’t until grandma passed away that I realized my mom has never stopped believing in God. We weren’t an obviously Christian family. If you came to our...
Day 17: Anger
November 18, 2020
I could hear her from my room. “God damn it guys!” My roommate had just woken up and stumbled into the kitchen, hungover. A common start to a Saturday in our...
Day 16: Bedtime
November 10, 2020
The jocks at my college didn’t play any of the usual sports. Their game of choice wasn’t even a game. It was a calisthenics program led by a Buddhist...
Day 15: Nude
November 9, 2020
I’ve been to quite a few nude beaches in my life. And I’ve been nude on a lot of beaches. Mostly as a baby, though. Just to be clear. Growing up there was...
Day 14: Soil
November 6, 2020
When I was four years old my dad borrowed a bunch of money and bought a plot of land in the jungle a few miles from the ocean. I spent a lot of time there...
Day 13: Pain
November 4, 2020
By the time I saw the tree it was too late. There was only a couple hours left of sunlight. I had just gotten off at the top of the mountain, strapped on my...
Day 12: Barefoot
November 2, 2020
We rarely wore shoes growing up. Before I got into skateboarding at 11, one of the only times I’d wear them was when I was playing sports. It was normal for...
Day 11: Blur
October 30, 2020
It was pitch black and we were still a couple hours outside of Portland. We’d been driving all day. Me, my younger brother, and my parents. Driving up from...
Day 10: Whisper
October 29, 2020
In elementary school I sang all the time. My mom tells me that we used to sing together every morning when she drove me to school. “Don’t you remember that?”...
Day 9: Smile
October 28, 2020
I remember walking down Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood trying to do the challenge. It was simple. A comfort zone challenge. A way to take baby steps out of my...
Day 8: Confident
October 27, 2020
My intentions were good. But something about me was making the hair on their necks stand on end. It was the second day of acting class. Twelve of us in a...
Day 7: Mountain
October 22, 2020
In college, my best friend was a mountain. It was a small mountain. But from the top I could see for 50 miles. To the south the desert stretched on and on...
Day 6: Hustle
October 21, 2020
My dad thinks I’m such a hard worker. But I don’t agree. I don’t know what it means to work hard. Is it the results you get? Is it the hours you put in? Is...
Day 5: Impact
October 20, 2020
In Hawaiian the word is “kapu.” It means “no trespassing” or “forbidden.” Growing up in the islands, it’s something you saw here and there. Hand-painted on a...
Day 4: Bully
October 15, 2020
We all have a little bully in us. I first met my inner bully in elementary school. I was probably five or six years old. There was another kid in my class...
Day 3: Listen
October 12, 2020
Before she left the islands, my mom used to take long walks on the beach. And sometimes I’d join her. One time we got to talking about my dad. Now, I love my...
Day 2: Pretend
October 10, 2020
“You should’ve opened it.” My girlfriend sat on the floor, glaring at me as she unlaced her boots. It was two days before Christmas Eve, and we had just...
Day 1: Numb
October 9, 2020
I didn’t know it at the time, but I was depressed. I was 23 years old. And after 18 months away from home, I was back in my parents house. To stay, as far as...
Day 0: What does it mean to be “sensitive”?
October 8, 2020
I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with being a “sensitive” guy. In my work — sales and marketing — you’re often told to develop a “thick skin.” When...
A timeline of my history with PUA
October 8, 2020
I’ve been thinking a lot about why and how I got so deeply entrenched in PUA. So I jotted this list down for myself, to see what I’ve spent money on and...
Be your own best partner
October 7, 2020
I heard that Emma Watson is turning 30 and is happily single — referring to herself as “self-partnered.” What does she actually mean by that? I don’t know. I...
Got a bad haircut. Can I still love myself?
October 7, 2020
I got a haircut last night. My first haircut in a year. My girlfriend says I look like this: I think I look more like this: Whether or not it’s true, I...
I have dysfunctional boundaries
October 7, 2020
Reading Pia Mellody’s work has got me thinking a lot about boundaries — something I’ve heard people talk about in the past but never took seriously. I...
Letter to my inner child about “approaching”
October 7, 2020
Ever since I got into PUA years ago, I’ve felt an immense pressure to always “approach” any attractive girl I see. Due to my own fear I hardly ever actually...
I think I’m finally done with Jordan Peterson
October 7, 2020
I used to be a real Jordan Peterson fanboy. But I haven’t paid much attention to him in about a year (for reasons I’ll share another day). But last night I...
When I see an attractive woman I feel…
October 7, 2020
Since joining John Cooper’s Social Heartiste Academy, I’ve been making a habit of getting clear about the emotions I feel around beautiful women. So I...
The zombie emotions that kill us
October 6, 2020
The other day a friend of mine told me about one of the more gruesome ways nature finds to perpetuate life. In the rainforest of Brazil, there’s a species of...
The gift of shame
October 6, 2020
When you feel shame — and it’s your own shame (as opposed to “carried shame”) — it feels like mild-to-moderate embarrassment. It comes about when your brain...
Asking for what I need even when it hurts
October 6, 2020
I’m lonely today. It’s beautiful out, but I’m lonely. I woke up at 11:50am. The original plan was to catch a 7:45am flight to visit my girlfriend for the...
Do we need sex?
October 6, 2020
Last night I read another chapter of Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody. I picked up this book after finding out that she’s one of Brent Charleton’s primary...
How to be vulnerable like a bro
October 6, 2020
Today I decided to stop twiddling my thumbs about all this and just write. Instead of spending the next days, weeks, and months (which I’ve been doing)...