trust: i am no god, only woodworm
welcome!
I saw Captain Marvel last weekend, which was fun and strange for a few reasons. It was odd to watch it and remember when the existence of that movie was the most important thing happening in my life. Sitting in the cinema, I felt like myself and an earlier version of myself, simultaneously. It was a good movie. I liked it.
Captain Marvel takes place in the 90s, the unspecified mid-90s, and it gave me a peculiar nostalgia for that specific period of time when analog tech was giving way to digital. The world and an earlier version of the world, in the same space, simultaneously. The film leans into that in establishing its place–Carol uses a pay phone, but later goes into an internet cafe. It’s a period of time I’d already been missing, to be honest. We have achieved the dream of living with computers in our pockets, and now my trouble is how to get away from it.
I had a Kindle, and one day it ceased working. I never replaced it. I mainly read ebooks on the Kindle app on my phone, so what was the point? Last week, I ordered a new Kindle and I cannot shut up about it, I’m so excited. The thrill, the joy of being able to read an ebook on a device which does not also house twitter? Somebody bottle that. And now that I’ve opened the gate, there is no limit. I paused in the middle of flipping my phone over so the screen would light up and tell me the time to wonder “Should I get a clock?” I think I should, folks.
It’s not that I’m not grateful for the access that smartphones have given us! I’m a member of a groupchat that we simply call “Pocket Friends,” because we’re all in different time zones but our community is quite literally in all of our pockets. We have a book club now. It’s great.
That said, my phone is also the home of a lot of stresses. My bank app is on it; the motion required to open Instagram and see photos of my friends’ dogs is the same one required to see what my credit card balance is sitting at. That’s stressful! Being essentially within digital reach at all times is stressful! There’s a power to seeing that I’ve received a text and deciding to wait to look at it until later (because boundaries, yo), but the knowledge is still there, sitting poised like a panther in the back of my mind. The text could be anything. Maybe it’s my friend sending me a memeI Maybe it’s my boss firing me! I just don’t know.
I’m not quite at the lock-your-phone-in-a-literal-safe stage in my relationship with technology, but I admit I can see it on the horizon. In the meantime, I have a Kindle. I’ll get a wall clock. I might respond to you in a letter instead of a text. I’m just trying to stay sane.
Dog Thing
(My recent adoption of the Huji app and others–which make your beautiful hi-res images look like you took them with a cheap disposable phone? Definitely all part and parcel of my struggle with tech.)
Mixed Media
A Good Book: The Black God’s Drums by P. Djèlí Clark. This was our 2nd novella club book, and it’s so. good. I am going to yell about P. Djèlí Clark until all of you have read his work and houses are clamoring over themselves to publish more. The Black God’s Drums is (like his more recent The Haunting of Tram Car 015) alt-history steampunk fantasy, but manages to be entirely different in spite of playing around with the same tropes. The Black God’s Drums takes place in New Orleans and follows a thief girl who’s desperate to get a job on an airship and finds herself in the middle of a terrorist plot. It’s GOOD.
A Good Game: Mass Effect. I know. I know!! I’ve played all the other Mass Effects many, many times, but I’d never played the first one. Not for lack of trying! It wasn’t available on playstation when I first tried, and years later when they finally put it out I found it frustrating and gave up. I hunkered down and pushed through the frustration and did actually enjoy the game (protip: there are some awkward stretches of silence while you’re exploring various planets, which i filled with audiobooks). Moreover, I’m enjoying playing Mass Effect 2 with all the pieces in place finally. (ME2 is my favourite, and replaying it for the first time in years is like visiting with a beloved friend.)
A Good Fic: Little Red Courgette by blamebrampton. There’s a whole corner of the Harry Potter fandom utterly devoted to writing extremely chewy political fics, and while I respect their dedication (how can I judge, when I’ll read anything with a magical house?), it’s not usually my bag. That said, the sheer ridiculousness of this one (which revolves around the mistaken approval of an undersized cucumber), was an utter delight.
Lastly
All about this energy:
