March 14, 2021

I’m out of practice at controlling my expression.

Earlier this year, I took part in a book exchange. The idea was that you responded to a friend’s post about the exchange, they gave you a name and address to send a book to, and then when people responded to YOUR post, you passed on your friend’s information, and so on. (A well-meaning acquaintance sent me a link to a snopes page about how this was a bad chain letter of a thing and i shouldn’t take part in it, but it seemed fairly benign to me and i ended up with a half dozen very good sci-if books in my mailbox, so i don’t regret it.) The instructions specify that the book you’re meant to send should be your favourite. Favourites—particularly with books—are a mutable thing for me. I spent some time on the question, and eventually concluded that right now it’s All Systems Red by Martha Wells.

All Systems Red is the first in Wells’ Murderbot Diaries series, which I know I’ve written about in the (distant) past. The series (which is currently made up of 4 novellas and 1 novel) follows the titular Murderbot as it comes to terms with being able to make decisions for itself for the first time in its existence. What I find particularly magnetic about the character of Murderbot is the fact that it is EXTREMELY good at its job—which is keeping people alive—but by virtue of the fact that we are inside its head we can see just how anxious and uncomfortable it is at all times.

“I am actually alone in my head, and that’s where 90 plus percent of my problems are.”

My most recent Murderbot reread began just as I was finishing The Mandalorian season 2, and it happened because I just wanted more of that character. There is much that Din Djarin has in common with Murderbot: frighteningly competent, endlessly patient, extremely uncomfortable outside of his armor, and a good person with a deep well of kindness.

There’s something in particular inspiring to me about characters like Din and Murderbot—faced with poor odds, carrying responsibilities they did not ask for, screaming inside their own heads—and yet, continuing on. It’s probably not an accident that this has hit me now, a year into the pandemic. I can only aspire to the outward composure Din & Murderbot manage. Possibly a helmet would help.

dog thing

mixed media

i’ve created a massive, color-coded spreadsheet for keeping track of the media i consume and i adore it. no more scrambling for recent recs for me!

good reads: Winter’s Orbit by Everina Maxwell: if you’ve been around here a while, you may recall my raving about an original online novel called Course of Honour. Well, this is that, only spruced up and published in print! If you’ve read one, it’s well worth reading the other—Maxwell has kept the romance beats of the original (space princes! arranged marriage! a bubbly one and a reserved one!) and built out her universe so the result is a proper space opera with a gooey romance center. I highly recommend it.

“Fandom for Robots” by Vina Jie-Min Prasad: I found this short story while seeking other things to scratch my Murderbot itch—Martha Wells recced it in an interview. It’s about a very old-fashioned robot (but still the only one of his kind) who gets into an anime about a robot. It’s a charming look at fandom at its best.

good fics: staring down the barrel of a hot sun by magneticwave. the mandalorian, din/luke. this is an au in which anakin never fell, so luke & leia were raised as Jedi on Coruscant, but the events of the mandalorian are largely the same. luke comes to mandalore as part of a mediation force and meets din who is, well, the king.

parry, parry, strike by AlchemyAlice. the mandalorian, din/luke. this is the first fic i’ve found which really deals with the consequences of din ending up with the darksaber. it also takes place on endor, which is delightful.

good music: i took part in a playlist exchange, and one of the ones made for me (for the prompt “monster boyfriend,” natch) is FULL of bops. listen to it here.

good podcasts: i’ve been making my way slowly through The Wonder House, which is a podcast by Dr. Sushma Jansari, the curator of South Asian art at the British Museum. Each episode is Dr. Jansari in conversation with other marginalized people who work in museums with the overarching theme of decolonizing the museum.

good film views: Prospect: this was sold to me as an okay indie sci-fi and a very good Pedro Pascal vehicle, and while I cannot argue the latter I do think it was more than okay! It’s on netflix.

Space Sweepers: i am on record about how much i love found families in space, so naturally i have watched this film about a found family in space twice so far. it’s very fun and very good. also on netflix.

good games: i started playing Bastion in an effort to wean myself off of replaying Hades (they’re both made by Supergiant Games), and tore right through it. it’s great!

Lastly

I have been paying very close attention to the recent revelations about Substack (which is how you are receiving this newsletter) seemingly going out of its way to build up an audience of transphobes and bigots. Obviously I am not charging for newsletters—I moved from Tinyletter here for strictly usability reasons—and they are not making any money off of me (or you). That said, I’ll be investigating whether I want to shift this newletter’s home once again.