Season 3, Episode 3: "Bringing Up Baby" as reviewed by the Serial Podcast
Previously on the Golden Girls….. You are receiving a call from an animal at ….a farm in Minnesota…. What can happen to animals in an instant, especially...
Season 3, Episode 2: "One For the Money" reviewed by George Orwell
This was early in March. During the next three months there was much secret activity. Rose Nyland’s speech had given to the more intelligent animals on the...
Season 3, Episode 1: "Old Friends", Or The One With the Alternate Dimension
We're at Season Three already. How time flies! Speaking of time, there's time travel. Speaking of time travel, something also science-fictiony is alternate...
Season 2, Episode 26; "Empty Nests" or An Abomination of Television
I mean, what else do women want to do? Well, it’s always nice to see tv writers tryout some new things. Sitcoms can start to feel stagnant, and it’s always...
Season 2, Episode 21;"Dorothy's Prized Pupil", the Childhood Memoir of Alfred Clifford Slater
When I arrived at Bayside High on that fateful day, before I got a boner for Kelly Kapowski, before I got a secret boner for Zack Morris, I had a story. A...
Season 2 Episode 25; "A Piece of Cake", The Grump, The Fool & The Whore
If I knew more about the bible, I'd maybe be able to find a passage that mirrors the vignettes in this episodes. It seems as if it should teach us a lesson,...
A Golden Girls Podcast
exists, and it's called Out on the Lanai. I wish I had the ability to do a podcast, but I can't find anyone who would do it with me. Sigh. Guess I am just a...
Season 2, Episode 24: "To Catch a Neighbor" as reviewed by a gruff, seen-it-all before detective
Yes, that's the Cloons himself. So yea when I got on the Miami beat I figured hey, how hard could it be, stopping robbers from taking little old ladies’...
Season 2, Episode 23; “Son-In-Law Dearest” as Told By Titles of Misfits Songs
Growing up, I imagined my daughter Kate as a TEENAGER FROM MARS. I mean, my time as a teenager was so different. I never understood her need to hang out at...
Season 2, Episode 22; "Diamond In the Rough" as Reviewed By Lars Von Trier
Romance is a falsehood, only pain and suffering provides us with the human experience. However, the mother stares grimly at the daughter, a grown woman...
Season 2, Episode 20: Whose Face Is This, Anyway?; as Reviewed By xoJane Headlines
Headlines From the aforementioned Ladymag :Unpopular Opinion: I’m Getting Plastic Surgery Because I Don’t Want to Look Old and Horrible Like My Haggard Best...
Season 2, Episode 19: "Long Day's Journey Into Marinara"
So, really, what is wrong with Rose? Like, really wrong? Did she have a split in reality after Charlie died? Early onset of Alzheimer’s? Because, let’s face...
Season 2, Episode 18: "Forgive Me Father," As Reviewed By God
Well hello my people. How are you liking that long book I wrote? I’ve been dying to write a sequel but really, who has the time? I’ve been too busy saving...
Season 2, Episode 17, "Bedtime Story", as Reviewed By Upworthy Headlines
A heater breaks in a house in Miami where four elderly women live. Unable to fix it, they took matters in their own hands. You’ll never believe what...
Season 2, Episode 16: “And Then There Was One"
This week, the girls inhale some infectious gas and walk around talking to a wrapped blanket pretending it's a baby. And then the ghost of the host of Family...
Season 2, Episode 15: "Before and After," As Reviewed By Frank Underwood
You really learn a lot about someone when they’ve had a brush with death. If they get all weepy about the meaning of life, they are the selfish ones. They...
Golden Girls Season 2, Episode 14: "The Actor," As Reviewed By the Theatre Critic From The New York Times
From the archives, I present some classic recaps. Season 2, Episode 14: "The Actor," As Reviewed By the Theatre Critic From The New York Times A Woman's...
Season 2, Episode 13: "The Stan Who Came To Dinner"
When a sitcom lasts eight seasons, it’s damn near impossible to bat a winner in everyone episode. And that’s okay. If we love the characters, we’d watch them...
Picture It! Odds & Ends
Some links of interest... Artist Michael Dennison draws pictures of Bea Arthur every day. Visit his tumblr and Etsy shop.Here’s the Lego kitchen set you...
Season 2, Episode 12: "The Sisters", as Reviewed By Jane Austen
Sophia, this eldest daughter, whose advice was so effectual, possessed a strength of understanding, and coolness of judgment, which qualified her, though...
Season 2, Episode 11: "Twas The Nightmare Before Christmas", As Told By An Oral History From The Writers' Room
R. J. MCBOWLAN, HEAD WRITER: We wanted to do a Christmas episode that wasn’t like any others. We had thought about doing a “Christmas Carol” version with the...
Season 2, Episode 10, "Love, Rose"; As Reviewed By The Designer of Dorothy's Monstrous Teal Crushed-Velvet Tuxedo Dress
Some people live on this earth, contributing nothing, taking up resources, just existing. I am lucky that I have made my contribution to the world, and will...
Season 2, Episode 9: "Joust Between Friends," As Reviewed By Me As I Descend Into A Depression Spiral
I don’t know you guys. There’s a lost dog that Rose brings home, purely for the point of using this “bitch” pun.Rose also like to talk as this dog in this...
Season 2, Episode 8; "Vacation," As Reviewed By The Smoke Monster From 'Lost'
SELFIE! WHOOSH Chichicha-Chichicha-Chichicha-Chichicha-Chichicha- CRASH- WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO----- Wait a minute- who are these ladies on my island? I thought...
Season 2, Episode 7: "Family Affair" as Reviewed By Jordan Belfort
This guy’s name is Michael Zbornak. The year he turned 29, he made 4900 dollars, which really pissed him off because it was three shy of a hundred dollars a...
Season 2, Episode 6, "Big Daddy's Little Lady", As Reviewed By Me
Let’s just get this out of the way, this episode was just filler based around a scene where they all since about Miami. It’s a catchy diddy, music by Rose...
Season 2, Episode 5: "Isn't It Romantic?", as Reviewed By a Football Coach At a School Assembly
Okay, settle down kids, this isn’t a chance for you to goof off during fourth period, we have some serious stuff to talk about. To get down with. To rap...
Season 2, Episode 4: "It’s a Miserable Life", as Reviewed By The Ghost of Frieda Claxton
Glad I’m in hell, my crappy life on earth was not much to remember. At least not the last part of it. Life up until 40 was pretty damn great. There’s not a...
Season 2, Episode 3: "Take Him, He's Mine", as Reviewed By a College Course Syllabus
Course: Modern Marriage in the Time of CapitalismClass objective: To explore the complicates sociological emotional, and institutional systems that surround...
Season 2, Episode 2; "Ladies of the Evening", as Reviewed By an Old-Timey Hooker
I tell you, some of these ladies are cut out for a life of glamour and intrigue like mine, others are just meant to live their ordinary lives bakin’ pies for...
Season 2, Episode 1; "End of the Curse" as Reviewed By Your Shitty Senior Thesis
So here we are, how far we've come, the lives lived, the memories shared. Are these Girls Really Golden? Golden evokes royalty, regality, and value. Is this...
Season 1, Episode 25: "The Way We Met", Reviewed With a Craigslist Ad
Devastatingly beautiful, charming 43 year old seeking two fun-loving gals to share devastatingly charming ranch home. Must be okay with multiple male...
Season 1, Episode 24: "Big Daddy", as Reviewed By Buzzfeed
Blanche is all excited to see her father, who she calls Big Daddy. She misses The South, which to her, seems like, To Sophia, The South seems like,Blanche...
Season 1, Episode 23, "Blind Ambition"; Our First Very Special Episode
What is the point of a Very Special Episode? Did sitcoms feel an obligation to teach us something? Was it simply a ratings grab? These days, every episode is...
Season 1, Episode 22, "The Job Hunt", as Reviewed By a Food Blogger
We started with some double ripple fudge, whose creamy texture reminded Rose of the cows she milked at home. She could feel the rush of the breeze up her...
Season 1, Episode 21, "The Flu", as Reviewed By a Men's Rights Activist
I’m so glad I get this platform to finally say something. I’m so tired about being drowned out by all these feminists that control the media! Finally, I get...
Season 1, Episode 20: "Adult Education" Reviewed By the College Brochure
Welcome to Miami Convenient College, where it doesn’t matter what classes you take, they are only for retired women to take to get a promotion at work. If...
Season 1, Episode 19: "Second Motherhood" as Reviewed By That Pretentious Guy in Your MFA Workshop
So first, I wanna say, I can tell you really put a lot of work into it. There’s some really interesting stuff here. But I have a lot of questions? Firstly,...
Season 1, Episode 18: The Operation; Let's Face it, This Episode Was About Showing Off The Ladies' Gams
And what wonderful games they are! I would wear this outfit permanently if I looked like that. The gals are enrolled in tap lessons and have a recital coming...
Season 1, Episode 17, "Nice And Easy"; THIS IS AN ED APPRECIATION POST
The best thing worth mentioning is the brief time we spent with Ed, the Miami cop who joined the force because he loves Miami Vice. It’s his world. He yearns...
Season 1, Episode 16, "The Truth Will Out," by Someone Who Is kind of Sick of Hearing About Charlie
Well, you can't win them all, huh? Also, I am sick of hearing about Charlie. Rose's daughter Kiersten is coming to visit (of course that is her name) with...
Season 1, Episode 15, "In a Bed of Roses", as reviewed by Rose's Homicidal Vagina
I’ve already killed once, and now I have a thirst for murder. The first was Charlie, Rose’s doofy husband. We were having our usual sex night after the cows...
Season 1, Episode 14: "That Was No Lady", as reviewed by me as a Teaching Assistant for Women Studies 101
The Fem'erican Dream Me [sitting backwards on a desk, my feet resting on the desktop]: Okay class, I hope everyone did their reading for this week. Today, we...
Golden Girls Classic Recap: Season 1, Episode 13 "A Little Romance"
Classic recaps of a classic show Season 1, Episode 13 "A Little Romance", a.k.a. This One Made Me Pee My Pants I can confidently claim that I have advanced...
Season 1, Episode 12: "The Custody Battle" as written by Bret Easton Ellis
And I was playing bridge out on the lanai with a raspberry lemonade, the same one that Jane Pauley drinks, and I suddenly remembered that my sister Gloria...
Season 1, Episode 11, "Stan's Return" as Reviewed By the Co-worker who Really Really Wants to Tell You About Her Crazy Night Out But You Aren't Taking the Bait
On this very special episode, the gals all become bulimic... I've seen this episode a few times already, but it's hard to think right now. I have the WORST...
Season 1, Episode 10, "The heart Attack"
Way to spoil the episode, episode title! The gals are just finished having a big party with lots of food [These gals have a more active social life than I...
Season 1, Episode 9, "Blanche and the Younger Man"
Well, everyone, people warned me about this. I guess you can't win them all the time. I've finally hit my first mediocre. Oh believe me, even a mediocre...
Season 1, Episode 8, “The Break In,” as reviewed by Blanche's Chinese Vase
I am, or was, Blanche's gorgeous but short-lived Chinese Vase. I used to live by the front door so everyone coming in could gaze upon my beauty. Blanche...
Season 1, Episode 7, "The Competition," as reviewed by Rachel Zoe
I cannot believe how uh mah zing these ladies looked. Babe, can you believe it? Babe? Babe? Rodge? Where are you? ... Firstly, this is Sophia's outfit she...