When Did Working Out Become Performance Art
When did the gym become a performance art studio? I blame YouTube. I blame fitness influencers. I blame the hacking culture. I blame optimizing.
I’m walking the indoor track (15K steps a day!) and a man in front of me sprints for ten seconds then stops. He lunges so hard I see parts of him I never knew existed. Back to running. Next, he trots like a Clydesdale. It interrupts my steady walking because I don’t know what will happen next.
A woman uses the hamstring press machine. After nine reps she jumps off and does ten frantic burpees and jumps back on. I’m not sure if I should move to the machine during her burpee break and claim it. I am doing a circuit rotation on the machines. How gauche! I should be doing a handstand off the machine between reps.
It’s the era of multi-use, of efficiency. The chest press is not just a chest press. It’s a place to hold onto for stretching, it’s the place to sweat over while you jump rope five times and come back to it. The social functions seem confusing. Groups of men travel in packs to different machines. One uses the machine while others watch. It is both scrutinizing surveillance and the queer gaze. This seems very counterproductive, a bad ROI on the time at the gym. But this is what they must do.
If you get sweat stains in the wrong area, you will be banned from the gym. Acceptable sweat patches are at the neckline. Never stuck to your back, never in the armpits, and god forbid in the small of your back, causing the shirt to cling to you.
I blame this on the cult of HILT.