Season 1, Episode 8, “The Break In,” as reviewed by Blanche's Chinese Vase

I am, or was, Blanche's gorgeous but short-lived Chinese Vase. I used to live by the front door so everyone coming in could gaze upon my beauty. Blanche bought me at a J.C. Penny's clearance sale. She thought it would make her house look sophisticated and her have expansive cultural knowledge. That and the gentlemen callers would admire it as she brought them through the door at the end of the night. Alas, I had a short life, and this is the story of my demise.