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December 10, 2014

Season 3, Episode 1: "Old Friends", Or The One With the Alternate Dimension

We're at Season Three already. How time flies! Speaking of time, there's time travel. Speaking of time travel, something also science-fictiony is alternate dimensions. I learned in the movie Coherence that different versions of reality can still, temporally and spatially, interchange (or interfere) with each other. That means at any given time, there are infinite alternative realities happening at any given time. Think of all the alternate realities that have been created by decisions that are seemingly the result of free will. For instance, there could be another reality where Sophia is a black man.

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Maybe this man will also come to a boardwalk that was constructed by a high school theater class. Perhaps he will also like to talk shit about people on the beach.

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Meanwhile, there’s a reality somewhere in the time/space continuum where Rose is a Rhodes Scholar. There is another one where her arch-nemesis is a young Jenny Lewis playing an off-brand Girl Scout helping these old ladies with their yard sale, and Blanche accidentally gives away her teddy bear.

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However, Rose surprises us all by tricking the child and literally throwing her out of the house.

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Oh look, in this alternate reality there’s a black Dorothy! Makes sense I guess.

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Meanwhile, Alvin, Sophia’s new friend, goes full r-t-rd and plays an Alzheimer’s patient. We leave the episode learning that Black Dorothy will have to have him move away for treatment, and Sophia doesn’t understand because in this dimension Sophia is cursed with immortality.

Hey surprise! Sophia talks about cocks in this episode, and not Blanche.

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And Season Three begins the onslaught of fat jokes. Here lies the infamous exchange between Blanche and Rose where Blanche relays her story of being hit on by a salesperson in the ladies’ petites department. Rose says, “What were you doing in ladies’ petites?”

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Blanche does not approve of advanced quantum physics theory.

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