F you, F Boy Island
Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” I am sure she had the abyssmal show Fboy Island in mind when she said that. A blond, smirky, salmon shorts-wearing man named Garrett romanced the boring blans but also blond Sarah, and in the end, she chose him, but the catch is: He can break up with her and win $100,000. He took the 100,000 dollars, telling Sarah he was only in it for the money.
And you know what? He DID EVERYTHING RIGHT. These “dating” shows are as he assessed, correctly, game shows. They gamify relationships, and Garrett did his studying. In a big reveal around halfway through the season, the contestants had to reveal if they were one of the only two catagories of men , “nice guys” or “F boys” and Garrett saud he was an F-boy. The other contestants told Sarah Garrett was an F Boy.
Sarah, you did this to yourself. America, you did this to yourself.
The reason I hated this show so much (so much that I watched every episode) is that there was a chance to put a new spin on the Bachelor formula. They couldn’t even say the words FUCK BOY (or fuccboi, the true spelling) and there was no sense of parody, of fun, and it was even less feminist than the Bachelorette, with the onus on the women surivive being manipulated. They took it seriously, and even Flavor of Love knew it was a parody. Nikki Glaser was practically floundering in the sand trying to be funny with her cool-girl comedy, and the three leads were so unappealing I am surprised anyone stayed in the game for them.
Fboy island came from a pitch over drinks, a funny take on people that live “very online” and maybe hate women. I can’t believe that HBO Max, the same channel that brought us The Leftovers, bought this nonsense. I’m tired of watching these dating shows that tell us nothing about the actual people we are supposedto route for, and with the assumption that these people “deserve love.” why?
I salute you Garrett. Good luck on your new podcast and gym suppliment business.