Do you remember that scene in Heated Rivalry when Rozanov pours his heart out to Hollander on the phone? If you don’t, it’s in episode five. 

He’s crying under a dark tunnel in Moscow. Hollander is leaning against the brick wall of his apartment stairwell, listening.

Afterwards, Rozanov feels immense relief. He has unburdened himself to someone who demanded nothing in return. In other words, Hollander gives him a gift.

And here’s the twist: He doesn’t understand a single word.

Rozanov delivered the entire soliloquy in Russian.

Still — relief.

I was thinking about that scene while reading The Prosperous Coach. Yes, I was skeptical of the title, too. But a coach I deeply respect recommended it, so I read it on the plane to Arizona for our kids’ first of two spring breaks (don’t ask). 

On page 58, the authors introduce something called the lamp post metaphor (originally from Michael Neill, another prosperous coach).

The idea is simple: even venting to a lamp post would help.

Imagine walking outside after a brutal day at work and unloading everything onto a cold metal pole. The pole would not respond with pointed questions or thoughtful feedback.

And yet, you would probably feel better.

Because expression itself helps. 

So imagine what happens when the lamp post is actually a trained, steady human being. 

When I sit down with someone, I don’t just bring a notebook – although, I definitely do that! 

I bring my years in clinical social work and applied positive psychology. My experience at Eleven Madison Park, where the pursuit of excellence was non-negotiable. My time in nonprofit fundraising and recruitment, where approaching each person with genuine curiosity and warmth made all the difference. And years coaching high-achieving individuals navigating the pressure of never feeling like enough.

I don’t think one hour contains my whole life.

But I do think it contains the best of what I’ve learned from it.

And sometimes — sometimes — the most powerful thing isn’t what I say.

It’s that someone finally gets to say everything.

Out loud.