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The short answer is yes. But many more thoughts (and three books about motherhood I re-read yearly) await you in this May edition of what I’m reading, writing, and eating. Consider upgrading to paid to read more!

Reading

I picked up The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever by Neha Ruch at the library out of a weird curiosity. I'd rather read about almost anything besides ‘career after baby,’ but it was on my library’s New Arrivals rack and I grabbed it. The book is generous and over-competent (as moms often are!) and…I’m skimming. Maybe I’m being contrary because I’m reading a book that is so obviously for me? I’m the target demographic: A mom who has worked from home while her kids were/are young. And my reaction is so lukewarm.

I can’t remember the last time I read a “career” book but I did go through a phase of reading Seth Godin and similar writers. I read those career and entrepreneurship books and translated the advice to fit my situation. Reading The Power Pause there’s less to translate and that experience feels dull to me. What is it like to be the generic white male target audience for whom so many books are written? Sounds boring.

I’m also reading Essential Labor: Mothering as Social Change by Angela Garbes and I’m enjoying her critique of the issues mothers face, as well as learning about the history of care work especially by Filipino women in the US. Garbes’ newsletter is fantastic and while I keep parasocial thinking to a minimum, she just seems like a cool person who’d be fun to get lunch with! Whenever I read a book about mothering in the US, though, I just get angry and sad and then a little bored – because previous to reading the book I was already angry and sad about the state of affairs for mothers in the US. I’m grateful for the writers who do tackle the subject (because there can’t be enough books about mothering / parenting / etc!) and read the books in small doses.

The books about mothering I do go back to read, so far, are a short list: Midwinter Day by Bernadette Mayer, A Ghost in the Throat by Doireann Ní Ghríofa, and The Little Virtues by Natalia Ginzburg. These three came to mind instinctively because I’ve re-read all of them, which isn’t common for me. Thinking a little deeper into why these three books, it’s because they get into the chaos and wonder of mothering in a way that isn’t often welcome in contemporary US publishing. The books are what they are, and they’re decidedly outside of #girlboss #momming. Mayer’s book is the only one by a US writer, and Ní Ghríofa’s is the only contemporary book (but it focuses heavily on an ancient poem.) I say they’re books about mothering even though you may not find them commonly on such lists. These three books, though, are as expansive as I’ve found the experience of mothering.

After more thought on Ruch’s book, I’m not really the ideal reader. My career and kids started basically at the same time, so I’ve never identified with the difficulties that come from having a decades long career before having children. A challenge with “mom books” is that they get lumped in and marketed together all toward this monolithic idea of MOM. Oh you’re MOM, get this MOM book. Eyeroll. Ruch and Garbes know there’s nuance (and there is a lot in their books), but some of it gets lost in the translation of publishing and press.

Writing

This month for The Good Enough Weekly:

• A Vacation From My Problems: On visiting Bisbee, AZ, and wondering about different types of small towns. 

• Field Notes From Eating at Little League: On food dye, snack duty, and fitting in

• Dinner, a Semi-Complete List: Part Six: Eavesdropping in coffee shops, apathy toward cooking, but still longing for delicious food.

• From a Food Writer’s Notebook: Broadening “Food Scarcity”: Observations and questions.

In other writing, I’m almost done with that interview for Write or Die Mag, I published two newsletters for Wasted Ink Zine Distro (WIZD) on May 7 and May 21, and I completed my first grant review panel. For a small stipend ($150-$200, still haven’t gotten it), I read 17 grant applications from people planning festivals in Phoenix. They ranged from annual events that have been going on for decades to small teams raising money for their first event. I’ve learned a lot through writing grants (personal and for WIZD), and reading ones written by other people was very instructive. I wanted everyone to get the money and I’m very grateful I’m not responsible for any final decisions. 

Cooking & Eating

May was an odd month of eating. I took fewer photos of my meals which tells me that I was eating in a rush, I was cooking less and relying on Salad and Go for affordable salads or the cafe at the library or the coffee shop next to my kids’ tutoring to fill in the gaps. I ate a lot of fig bars in parking lots. When I did cook it was grain salads, roasted cabbage, lentils (eaten over rice, used as quesadilla filling.) Frozen broccoli steamed in the microwave. I ate an immense amount of parsley and cilantro, chopping up whole bunches for the grain salads. Twice I went to Barrio Bagel and Slice, once with a friend, once for a quick slice and coffee in between appointments (their margarita slice and iced coffee literally saved my Tuesday.) Halfway through the month, I remembered that eating canned smoked oysters does wonders for my mental and physical well-being, so I added that to my grain salad & roasted cabbage once a week. We celebrated a family birthday and the lemon cake from AJ’s was tart and light. Friends came through town and we met at Ollie Vaughn’s and sat outside even though it’s nearly too hot to do that. I ordered the mushroom and cheddar quiche and was pleasantly surprised it came with a salad and the vinaigrette was peppery and bright. The owner walked through the patio wearing a Monsoon Market shirt and I spotted the wife of a famous local pizza maker having lunching across the way. I’m charmed by Ollie Vaughn’s whole thing — part of which is a focus on treating those in the restaurant business especially well. The description of their industry brunch menu says a lot, “come join us mondays from 10am - 2 pm, when we offer menu and drink specials to those poor souls that grind in the industry all weekend and never get to attend that elusive event called brunch.”

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