Fellow angler,

This post is an anomaly. I started writing a normal post about how my dreams help me come up with writing ideas. Then, without realizing what I was doing, I had written 800 words (nearly a full post) about Neil Diamond.

It’s not like I was planning to share a Neil Diamond song. The post had no title song and I don’t even like Neil Diamond. I simply wanted to share a fact I had recently learned. Then things went off the rails.

Perhaps this is, in itself, a useful look at one origin for some of my writing ideas: I wanted to share a random fact I learned about Neil Diamond. I thought it would take me five sentences. It wasn’t until I started explaining where I learned this fact that I realized I had some strong feelings about Mr. Diamond. As I wrote more, I decided to lean in and really run with the idea. I was left with a long section that no longer fit with the intro I had written. So I cut that intro and added the explanation that you’re reading right now.

I suppose the moral is that sometimes you have to write something and truly open yourself up to it, allowing yourself to inhabit it without expectations or fear, before you can understand where it may take you. And that is a sentence I would never have anticipated writing when I first started talking about Neil Diamond.

So without further ado, I present you with the section that was supposed to close out the post that I was supposed to write for today. I have left it as it was originally written (mostly because I’m too lazy to go back and edit it).

Title song

This post was not inspired by a song, but I will oblige you and share a thought on a song. This thought goes out to my older readers, because I don’t think anyone under 40 will have strong opinions on what I’m about to say about Neil Diamond.

I rewatched Shrek a few days ago (stellar film). While watching the end credits (if they put in the energy to play good music over the credits, I don’t mind putting in the energy to watch all the way to the end), I was surprised to see that for the song I’m a Believer, which is performed in the film by a perfect combination of Smash Mouth and Eddie Murphy as Donkey, the lyrics and music were credited to Neil Diamond.

This surprised me for two reasons:

1. As a youth, I loved I’m a Believer by The Monkees. That was the first version I’d ever heard and I assumed it was their song.

2. I’m a Believer is a great song, but Neil Diamond sucks.

Now, I must admit to you here that I have a bias against Neil Diamond, and that’s also for two reasons:

1. I grew up in Massachusetts, and if you’ve ever been to a bar in Boston or to a Boston Red Sox game, you will notice that the city is obsessed with a little ditty called Sweet Caroline, by Neil Diamond. If I never hear that song come out of a speaker for the rest of my life, it will be too soon. I want no more reachin' out, no more touchin' me, and you don’t need to worry because I won’t be touchin' you. Now, I will grant you that it’s a good song. If you hear it once. But I heard Sweet Caroline so many times that I grew to hate it. I think the best analogy of how I feel when I hear that song is the way the diners feel in John Mulaney’s Salt and Pepper Diner standup bit (I also find Mulaney annoying, but this story is funny and game recognizes game). That is all to say I have grown to dislike Mr. Diamond for inflicting this song upon me. I have also avoided ever hearing his other songs because this one has annoyed me so much.

2. Depending on how you felt about my first reason for disliking Neil Diamond, you’ll find this second reason equally as reasonable or equally as ridiculous. When I think of Neil Diamond, there is one image that immediately comes to mind. It’s an album cover where he is smirking with his 70s-style poofy hair and a collared white shirt that is open just right to reveal his chest hair. I can never tell if he’s wearing a chain. The picture is extremely of its time. By the standard of that time, I’d even say it’s quite tame. But I can’t stand it. I find its general glam rock vibe to be ghastly. To quote Carrie Fisher in the scene in When Harry Met Sally where she’s explaining why they can’t keep the wagon wheel coffee table her fiancé wants, “It’s so awful, there’s no way to even begin to explain what’s so awful about it.”

I’ll end the hate here before I get too many angry texts from my mother telling me to stop being so mean to Neil Diamond because what did he ever do to me?

To bring us back around, since you may have forgotten, we were talking about I’m a Believer and how I was shocked to learn that Neil Diamond wrote it. I listened to his original version and it’s actually pretty good. Then I listened to some of his other songs from the 60s and I was again shocked (SHOCKED, I say) to learn that he is a good songwriter! Did you know he wrote the original version of UB40’s Red Red Wine??¹

After these world-shattering revelations, I had to look deep within and ask myself if I had been sleeping on Neil Diamond for 20+ years just because Bostonians annoy me. The answer is yes. But I can admit when I’m wrong, so I have made some life changes and shifted my ire entirely onto Boston.

It turns out I’ve heard covers of a handful of Neil’s songs, and while I would say that his originals are all slightly more boring versions of the covers I already know, the man had some serious skill. This whole experience has turned me into a fan. I’ve also now read his entire Wikipedia page.

Did you know my good friend Neil grew up in Brooklyn and was in high school Chorus Club (nerd) with Barbra Streisand? Or that he was good enough at fencing to get a scholarship at NYU, and then was part of the 1960 NCAA men's championship fencing team? And who can blame him for studying pre-med only to drop out during his senior year for a job writing songs? Don’t worry, though, it worked out for him. He’s had 38 top-10 songs, been inducted into all the relevant halls of fame, and sold more records than verifiable stars like The Beach Boys, Bob Dylan, and Paul McCartney (solo).

So even though I wasn’t planning to end this post with a song, I can’t help but share a live version of my new favorite artist, Neil Diamond, singing my new favorite song, Sweet Caroline², with his collared shirt tastefully unbuttoned to reveal his chest hair and a chain. What a stud.

Until next time,

Happy fishing!