2026-05-11

Emoji Guide

Welcome to emoji school

this is actually a great guide.

I don’t know whether it’s appropriate to use the heart emoji at work. Am I implying that I am in love with the person?

Great question. It depends on whether you are using a reaction emoji (that’s the small one that attaches to a specific message), which is clearly a response to what has just been said. If you send a heart emoji as a reply on its own, you are basically proposing.

I told my boss that I would not be at work one week because I was suffering from amoebic dysentery. I then got a notification that she liked my message. I’ve lost half my body weight and she’s apparently taking pleasure in my misfortune.

If you do a thumbs-up reaction emoji on some platforms, it tells the other person that you “liked“ their message. Your boss should have written back but she was probably acknowledging your message rather than rejoicing in it. Some Gen Zers regard thumbs-up emojis as a bit frosty, by the way. This is why.

…

A few of my colleagues put a palm tree by their names on Slack. I know it means that they care about the climate. I’d like to show my commitment to the planet, too, but cannot find the emoji. Can you help?

Where’s that thinking emoji?

Celebrity Book Clubs

Many celebrities now have book clubs. Most are irritating

Ms Lipa is a British pop star. She is also an increasingly popular literary critic, thanks to her book-club podcast, in which she interviews authors. But Ms Lipa does not have a splinter of ice in her heart. She has something much lovelier. She loves books (“I love books”). She loves storytelling (“I love storytelling”). She loves Helen Garner, an Australian novelist (“I fell in love with you”). She loves Margaret Atwood’s biography (“I loved it. I love it. I love it so much”).

Book clubs are changing. A hobby that was once dull, domestic and faintly frumpy has had a glow-up. Now, anyone who is anyone—and, given the nature of modern celebrity, plenty of people who are almost no one—has a book club, whether podcast, website, YouTube channel or newsletter. Reese Witherspoon, an actor and producer, has a book club. (She is its “book-lover-in-chief”.) Gwyneth Paltrow had a book club as part of her lifestyle brand, Goop. (“Crime and Punishment”, Ms Paltrow declared, is one of her “all-time favourite novels”.) Kaia Gerber, a model, has one with the perplexing aim of “building up our community of rage readers”.

Book clubs, it is true, can be irritating. They are also a little paradoxical. Reading rates are declining rapidly, everywhere. Yet there are podcasts about reading, campaigns about reading and handwringing books about reading. The public seems simultaneously unable to start reading—or to stop banging on about it. Perhaps, instead of listening to people talk about books, you should enjoy books the old-fashioned way. Sit down. Open a book. And silently enjoy it. 

AI Didn't Kill Programming, You Did

AI Didn't Kill Programming, You Did

Wrong. AI didn't kill programming. You killed programming decades ago by stripping it of all individuality and curiosity to satisfy the whims of giant corporations. You created universities that taught only one language and trained programmers to never think of programming as personal expression. You turned programming into a sterile profession who's only purpose is making other people money. You even went so far as to hunt down and threaten anyone who dared to disagree with you. You threatened their jobs, their reputations, and their mental health over petty bullshit like an underscore in a variable name.

You worked extremely hard to frame programming as only a profession that serves corporations, and made sure anyone who threatened the great corporations was shut down, ridiculed, humiliated, and fired. So everyone fell in line, made only projects for corporations, and talked only about how they could best serve corporations. Even when they tried to fight back against the corporate mindset they came up with a movement that's still about corporate efficiency.

Congratulations bootlickers, you got what you wanted. A boring soulless profession with no originality and a total focus on what corporations want with no regard for individualism and free expression. "Everyone should code exactly the same like good little robots." That's you, bootlicker.

2026-05-12

Flaubert on having kids

A quote by Gustave Flaubert

The aggravations and the disgrace of existence 🤌🏽

“The idea of bringing someone into the world fills me with horror. I would curse myself if I were a father. A son of mine! Oh no, no, no! May my entire flesh perish and may I transmit to no one the aggravations and the disgrace of existence.”

I found this on an insta post of somebody making their way through Madame Bovary and I was immediately struck by this observation.

Career Situationship

Danger Signs That You’re Stuck in a Career Situationship #work

When you’re stuck in a career situationship, you essentially have one foot in and one foot out. You’ll be able to identify pros and cons to your career, but you're not sure which side outweighs the other. If someone asks whether you’re happy with your work, your answer will be different on different days.

But are you really stuck in a career situationship, or are you just having a bad month or two? Here are some red flags that will let you know if it's the real thing:

2026-05-14

There is nothing more romantic than friendship

Are our friends the real loves of our lives?

For young women who date men – and who are increasingly dissatisfied with the state of heterosexual dating – romantic friendships are setting the standard for what to expect in love. Arasasingham says she and her friends have similar love languages, giving each other more thoughtful gifts than any romantic partner has. “The more I pour into your platonic relationships, the better I feel,” she says. “And the more it raises my standards for romantic relationships because I feel seen so deeply.” Feifei, a 22-year-old writer in Nigeria, says her friendships have consistently shown her what love is supposed to feel like. “There’s no hot and cold, and I don’t have to constantly prove myself worthy of basic affection,” she says. “My friends love me on my bad days, celebrate my wins without making it weird, and tell me hard truths because they actually care.”

It is hard to measure romance, especially when what we are so often sold as romantic is wrapped up in heteronormativity. That is why even speaking about how loving some friendships feel becomes important to expanding our ideas of what is actually romantic. For Basi, it is the depth of intimacy in her friendships, and the constant knowingness that carries through all stages of life, that makes them feel more romantic than her dating life. “At the moment, dating is feeling quite transactional, and we’re all missing the realness, openness and vulnerability of relationships that’s gotten lost along the way,” she says. “If you take away physical intimacy, how much more value is your partner actually adding to your life compared to your friends?”

To compare the romance of platonic love to romantic love would be a disservice to the unparalleled beauty of friendship, but acknowledging that romance can come from a range of places opens up a wealth of possibilities for our romantic lives. “I don't think friendship needs romance’s validation,” says Idowu. “The problem isn’t that friendships aren’t romantic enough; it's that we’ve spent so long treating romantic love as the only love that counts that we’ve underinvested in our friendships and then wondered why we feel lonely.” The remedy, according to Idowu, is simple: start taking your friendships as seriously as your romantic relationships. “I think the most radical thing you can do right now is to be a good friend,” she says.

Olivia Rodrigo's Dress

If you think Olivia Rodrigo looks like a sexy baby, that’s on you

I learned so much just from this one paragraph 😂

The design itself – the babydoll dress – was not even made for children originally. It emerged in the 1940s as a way of conserving fabric during wartime rationing, and was later popularised by the 1956 film Baby Doll. It was later taken up in the 1990s, as a symbol of sarcastic hyper-femininity, by female rock musicians like Courtney Love and Kim Gordon as part of a trend called Kinderwhore. Rodrigo has nodded to the fashion of both eras throughout her career. The outrage, then, says far more about how some people interpret her dress than about her choice to wear it.

Cursive's Comeback

Cursive Club, Where Students Learn With a Flourish

Brought back memories

Years after it was omitted from the Common Core standards, some students are practicing cursive in clubs after school and in libraries. Some states are bringing it back to classrooms.

What is Linen

All About Linen – From Flax to Fabric

Linen is a bast fiber, which means it comes from the inner part of the plant. In linen’s case, that’s the flax plant.

General properties:

• One of the strongest natural textile fibers: Linen is generally stronger and more durable than cotton, making linen fabrics hard-wearing and capable of lasting for decades with proper care
• Eco-friendly life cycle: flax typically requires less water and fewer pesticides than conventional cotton; linen is also recyclable and biodegradable
• Soft hand: linen is often stiff or textured at first, but softens noticeably with wear and washing*
• Structurally sound fiber: Linen garments tend to hold their shape well due to the fiber’s low elasticity
• Launders well and can maintain color effectively when properly dyed and cared for
• Naturally resistant to irritation and often suitable for sensitive skin
• Naturally low-static
• Good moisture absorbency: linen can absorb up to 20% of its weight in moisture before feeling damp**
• Highly breathable and thermoregulating
• Low elasticity, which contributes to both durability and wrinkling
• Time- and labor-intensive extraction process (from plant to usable fiber)

2026-05-15

Brooklyn Coffee Shop and Berlin

bkcoffeeshop - Episode 81: Normal Berliner visits the shop featuring @lau_ramoso)

As a former New Yorker and now Berliner, this episode hit so hard!

Berliner Hello. This place looks nice. Thyme How are you? Are you, like, visiting from somewhere? Berliner I'm actually on vacation from Berlin. Thyme Berlin. Berlin. We love Berlin. I'm about to go on a three week silent techno retreat there. Cale My eight year situationship, Capricorn, lives there. Great. Thyme So what can I get you? Maybe, like, an accidentally vegan unsweetened barley latte? Cale Or we can spit in your mouth or slap you in the face for an extra $30? A lot of Berliners ask for that. Berliner Actually, a plain drip coffee would be good. Thyme Oh, so like a minimalist approach, like a palate cleanser. I get it. Cale You're so lucky you live in Berlin. Who are your fave local artists? I need to know. Berliner Oh, you know, I really have been listening to Sabrina Carpenter lately. Cale The new metal German DJ, the one that spells the name with only fours and fives? Berliner No. It's the one that goes thinking about me every time oh, that's that me espresso. Oh, I mean, that's a really catchy song. Cale Have you heard that song? I don't know that song. Thyme I don't know that song. Berliner No. Oh, I brought my own mug. Thyme I love Berliners. They just get it. Starbucks? Cale Ew. You're carrying that ironically. Right? Berliner No. Yeah. I actually wanted to go to a Starbucks, but could not find one around here, so I came to this place. Thyme This has to be an artistic statement. Cale Incredible job staying in character. Berliner By the way, do you have any recommendations for things to do in the city? It's my first time in New York. Cale Of course. We have Marxist multimedia art installations, poetry nights, and acoustic listening bars. Thyme Oh, and Dry Humor is my favorite non alcoholic bar, Gemini Gemini for vintage. Berliner So far, I'm really excited about exploring Midtown. Yeah. Because I've heard great things about the M and M store in Times Square. Oh, and I cannot wait to do the Friends experience. Yeah. I mean, I know you can tell. I am a Monica. What is the name of that street in Dumbo by the Brooklyn Bridge thing? Yeah? Because I have to get a photograph. Thyme Are you sure you're from Berlin? Berliner Yes. Cale What are your purposes in New York City? Berliner I'm actually here for a b to b marketing conference. I work for a paint company, and we just discovered a new shade of beige. Cale That can't be your job. Berliner Yeah. In fact, the walls in here are actually looking a bit chipped. I can get you a quote. Thyme Are you at least asexual or, like, poly or something? Berliner My husband, Jan, is a consultant at Deloitte. We are high school sweethearts. He is blonde. Cale She has such little edge. She's like an infinity pool. Berliner You know, I really have had enough. You are really projecting your idea of Berlin onto me, and I have to say it's actually very culturally insensitive. You know, most Berliners are just normal Germans working hard, trying to avoid this hipster circus. Cale Projection redacted. I'm so sorry. We just thought statistically you should be cooler than this. Berliner Apology accepted. Okay. Anyway, I have to go to my autoerotic asphyxiation workshop in Ridgewood. I am leading it, so I cannot be late. Thinking about me every time. Oh. Thyme The song again. The grammar. Cale It's so bad.

Raghu Rai has died

Raghu Rai’s whole canvas was India

Check out the article for some of his iconic photos. One of my favorite photographers ever.

India in every aspect was his canvas, but it was the people who enchanted him. Throughout his more than 18 books of photo essays, there was barely a frame that did not show their intensity and energy. He was not an intrusive photographer. Only one camera, usually his faithful Nikon Z8 with a zoom lens, hung round his neck, and he carried no bags. His movements were leisurely. Over the years he had learned patience. Mud-sculptors making goddesses, near-naked wrestlers relaxing under Kolkata’s Howrah bridge, the boy splashing paint and running off laughing, mourning women raising their arms, did not try to pose for him, and he did not want that. Humbly he preferred to merge with his people, a part of the beating whole, seeing them with a pure and unsentimental eye that was led not by his mind, but by his heart.

Only an Indian could do this, someone who understood from the inside his country’s many layers. He could have been a photographer of the world, but when he was invited to join the Magnum agency in 1972—on the recommendation of Henri Cartier-Bresson, no less, who had seen his work at an exhibition in Paris—it took him five years to reply. Meanwhile he went to work for various Delhi-based magazines, especially India Today, where he stayed for a decade, showing India to itself.

To catch that one moment of revelation was already his mission. For photo-shoots of celebrities he insisted on continuing until he found it: until the actress Aparna Sen laid her head on the table in mock frustration, or the actor Satyajit Ray, still smoking his pipe, suddenly twisted round to gainsay him; or until his favourite tabla-player, Zakir Hussain, entered a trance of silence. With the very famous he did the same. He caught tiny Mother Teresa slowly negotiating stairs, her sari filled with light; his friend the Dalai Lama, with an untroubled smile, taking a screwdriver to his TV; Indira Gandhi, in a moment of anxiety, contorting her face with her hands. An evening visit to a friend’s house produced one of his favourite images, achieved only when he turned to look one last time: a view of the whole of Delhi, spread out under a darkening sky, with at its heart a small lit room in which a woman prayed.

2026-05-16

Song of the Samurai

Started watching this show on HBO and it's quite good!