the slow and unyielding march of time episode 37
There are so many businesses and services sending me emails i never asked for. Sometimes, i just delete all my emails. Other times i diligently click through to unsubscribe from email newsletters i never signed up for and that i am SURE i unsubscribed from already. A doctor's office wants me to leave a review. A house cleaning company i used once years ago in seattle wants to "keep in touch." All the very good not-for-profits i've donated to over the years are upping their emails because times are so tough out there and everyone needs help.
i think about this article about attention theft a lot. When i check my email now, i'm overwhelmed by everyone tugging at my shirt, pawing for my attention. As a consequence, i don't check my email. i miss things. Or i feel too overwhelmed to actually act on the few things i would like to do.
i've been using my personal computer less and less because of this, which feels very strange -- i've been using my computer regularly for two decades. but the existential dread i have to fight to open up my computer is real.
It feels a bit hypocritical to start an email newsletter talking about how overwhelming getting email can be for me. If you're in a similar situation, than i apologize for being part of the Problem, and never feel bad about just deleting it unopened!
However! i wanted to write about it because it's a significant reason that it's been so long since i last wrote. and because of that SO MUCH has happened.
i turned 40
In my early 30s i always said i would have a big party when i turned 40. It would be like a wedding; all my friends would come into town to celebrate with me. Then this year i was like "how am i going to throw a big party?!?!?! i'm so tired." So i did not, in fact, throw a big party. i had a little one where i invited all ten people i know in NYC, made a batch of margaritas and ordered sushi. The night ended with a bunch of us talking about books. PERFECT.
grandma moved
This is a huge deal! My grandma is 97 years old, and still living on her own. She was a long car ride away from my parents (and a multi-hour, multi-train ride away from me), but we're the closest family nearby, so my parents have been making that drive weekly for years. (i'm less diligent, but try to make it out there every month or so.) She finally decided she would like to be somewhere that is more catered towards senior living, and closer to my folks.
Moving is always a chore, and i cannot recommend doing it in your late 90s. Grandma's cognitive and decision-making abilities definitely dipped the more stressed she got, which was both worrying and often frustrating. Happily, we've made it through the actual move. While her apartment is currently a bit chaotic (YOU try fitting a whole house into a 2-bedroom apartment), she's settling in and is starting to feel a lot happier about it all.
i got a new cat
i still miss plucky so, so much. But the idea of getting through the winter without a cuddly kitty was too much to bear. Please meet henry crane. The petfinder listing described him as being lovable despite his stinkeye. Very accurate!
robin spent the first week hissing at henry. Now they're wrassling like buddies, grooming each other, and sleeping soundly in the same room. They're not cuddling yet but a person can dream.
i watched the final season of riverdale
Riverdale (based on the archie comics lol) is the best bad show i've watched. The writers take really big creative swings! Describing a single plot point takes 20 minutes of explaining all the different interconnecting plot points.
The final season, set in the 1950s was largely about actively building a better world to combat darkness. It features such darkness as moral panics around book censorship, the rise of fascism, racism, and homophobia. (Hmm!)
Listen, this show is very, very stupid much of the time. But it's also the only show that i can watch multiple (1 hour!!!!) episodes of in one sitting and not totally lose my mind. Goodbye riverdale, i'll remember you fondly.
i am not using substack anymore for this newsletter
This newsletter probably looks a little different because i am using a whole different service! This is the internet in 2023 (almost 2024!) so i'm not surpised that there ARE nazis on the substack platform, but i am a LITTLE surprised at how extremely cool the substack execs are with HAVING and making money off of nazis on their platform.
Honestly, switching services was a bit of a tough decision because as a free, non-monetized newsletter, using substack meant that i was costing them money, which is kind of nice??? But ultimately i just can't stomach using a platform that wants to take nazi money.
Following in the footsteps of my lovely friend paul, i have migrated over to buttondown. paul did the due diligence of emailing the founder of buttondown who assured him he would not be allowing nazis on the platform. i don't really trust CEOs, but for now that's good enough.
there's a war going on in israel and palestine
this isn't happening directly in my life, but as an american jew, it's certainly affecting me. there is a lot of good (and, let's be honest, bad) writing about this so i am not going to say much except that if your politics allow you to think that there is justification for murdering of children and committing war crimes, get new politics.
i got a new sis (in-law)
My brother got married! We haven't had a celebration for him and my new sister yet (they put off the wedding, as they wanted to make sure they had time to plan and everyone could come) but they signed the paperwork dec 2nd, and i'm really thrilled to welcome kim into the family. It's always wonderful to get a new sibling.
(Oh god this is long already and i haven't even gotten to the books yet.)
debris
This year's lightscape at the brooklyn botanic garden was really great. There were a couple light exhibits that felt ripped directly from disney, in the best possible way.
After talking about it for two years, david and i finally watched "air bud" on christmas eve. It was good? No matter how prepared you are for someone to say, "show me the rule that says dogs can't play basketball," it's still funny.
More stuff but i'd like to wrap this email before 2024 so moving onto....
what i've been reading
House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski:
Ok this is the scariest book i've ever read??? In an existential horror kind of way. but also very meta and experimental and i really liked it, but it's definitely not for everyone.
System Collapse and Witch King by Martha Wells:
Witch King is NOT a murderbot book, in the sense that it is a fantasy book instead of being set in a dystopic sci-fi future, but it's not NOT a murderbot book at heart. Both are very enjoyable, quick-paced plot-heavy books.
Blackout by Nicola Yoon, Angie Thomas, Ashley Woodfolk, Dhonielle Clayton, Tiffany D Jackson, Nic Stone:
Really sweet, cute ya anthology about a bunch of teens stuck in a nyc blackout. It felt very relevant to me because 1. i was stuck in nyc during the northeast blackout of 2003 and 2. the culminating scene happens right in my current neighborhood.
Prophet by Helen MacDonald and Sin Blaché:
No clue why i put this on hold, but was pleasantly surprised to discover that it's an anti-capitalist, noir sci-fi thriller queer romance that includes literal weaponizing of nostalgia. Super action packed and fun!
The Appeal by Janice Hallett:
A bit of a twisty mystery told mostly via emails. Interesting structure, but pretty forgettable.
The Ones We're Meant to Find by Joan He:
An interesting dystopic sci-fi premise about earth being on the brink of climate collapse, and human instincts towards survival and selfishness. Ultimately it fell a bit short for me, but was an enjoyable read.
Much Ado about Nada by Uzma Jalaluddin and Happy Place by Emily Henry:
i'm trying to read more romance because it's nice to have some happy endings and lower stakes than say, climate collapse. Accidentally, i read two about second-chance romances. They were both really sweet and fun. Happy Place was also about how friendships change over time. Nada is a Muslim retelling of jane austen's persuasion, with lots of musing about what it means to be a modern Muslim woman.
Sunshine Nails by Mai Nguyen:
A really interesting portrait of a Vietnamese Canadian family and their fight to keep the family business alive in the face of gentrification and racism.
Ninth House and Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo:
If you read this newsletter with any diligence, you'll know i like, or at least am attracted to, magic school books. (when they do more interesting stuff than potter fan fiction, anyways.) bardugo's occult mechanics are vicious, and the observations about class are interesting, but there was a tendency to create pointless obstacles within the story that was really distracting, so it definitely slumped in the middle for me.
All-Night Pharmacy by Ruth Madievsky:
A dark and complicated story of a messed-up, passive young woman trying to figure out how to live her life on her own terms was tough to read at times, but ultimately i liked it quite a bit. the prose is really good.
Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide by Rupert Holmes:
It's a magic school book, except substitute assassination for magic. A bit glib but a fun read.
The Block Party by Jamie Day:
A mean little gossipy neighborhood murder mystery. Man i love gossip so much!
The Midnight Children by Dan Gemeinhart:
Oh man sorry friends, i read this back in october and i barely remember it. It was a YA book club read, and i think we all liked it well enough?
The Deep Sky by Yume Kitasei:
Oh, another environmental collapse book! In this one, earth sends a spaceship of young women, representatives from different countries, who are tasked with giving birth along the difficult trip to a far-away planet that will colonize. Halfway there, a bomb goes off right outside the ship leading to chaos and suspicion within the crew. i found it really compelling!
How to Be Eaten by Maria Adelmann:
i love fairy tale retellings, and the premise of how to be eaten -- 5 women meeting in a support group to process their fairy-tale traumas -- is a really cool premise. Ultimately, alas, i found the execution to be mid, but there were some individual aspects of the stories that i really enjoyed.
Wow, we did it! i finished this before midnight, and you either read this whole thing, skipped a bunch of it, or deleted it sight unseen. Whatever choice you made i am sure was the right one for you, and i'm proud of you. It's been a pleasure writing to you all this year, and i think it will be next year as well!
Happy thoughts to all of you and your families. Have a really happy new year. i love you all so much. <3
-davida