the slow and unyielding march of time | episode 29
I think of myself as very independent, and very comfortable being alone with my own thoughts for long periods of time. I traveled by myself to Vietnam a few years ago, and I spent ten days talking to no one because I’m too stupid to learn Vietnamese. (I have auditory processing problems! It makes language learning really difficult for me. Also, I am lazy.) and not many folks there spoke English. I spent days alone with my own thoughts, listening to podcasts, walking around, and loved most of it.
So it’s somewhat to my surprise that I am on day 3 of my covid isolation (yes, I got covid.) and I am l-o-s-i-n-g it. The last time I had a meaningful in-person interaction with someone was Friday morning, when my beautiful and kind partner left a McGriddle with hashbrowns at my door, and I waved at him from 6 feet away. (DON’T WORRY WE WERE BOTH MASKED.)
I’ve been prone for so long, going from my bed to my couch to my bath, reading romances and murder mysteries, and playing extremely stupid phone games. My computer helpfully told me that my screentime has shot up 50%. (Thank you, computer.) It’s interesting to me that I have been kind of too antsy to sit still with my thoughts — even at night, I’m having trouble turning off to go to bed, even though I’m fairly tired. What do I not want to dwell on? Worry that I accidentally exposed people before I tested positive? Frustration and sadness about the plans I had to cancel? The difficulty in keeping ourselves save in this world?
Maybe it’s just because the food in Vietnam was infinitely better, and I had new stuff to look at. Even someone like me, an extreme introvert who often prefers books and my cat to other folks, still gets a ton of novelty just by being able to go on a walk. And now I’m sneaking into the halls to throw out my trash because I don’t want to have to explain to a friendly neighbor that I’m not avoiding them, I’m just contagious.
I should go before I get too maudlin! To be clear — I’m doing just fine. My throat no longer feels like it was scraped bare with a razor. I’m a little congested, and my voice sounds ragged as hell, but I haven’t lost my sense of smell or taste, I haven’t had chills or nausea or fever, and I’ve never felt dangerously sick. I’m so grateful I didn’t get it before I was boosted, and that I managed to avoid delta. Wear masks! Stay safe.
Debris
I’d heard rumblings here and there about Severance being good, and the basic conceit — a world where people can split their selves between work and “real life” and have no access in each to the memories of the other — is deeply interesting to me. So I decided to give it a whirl, and loved it! Pls watch it so we can talk about it.
I’m well known in certain circles for not caring about spoilers. (It’s the journey, baby, not the destination!) Fraggle sent me this article confirming my bias that spoilers are a capitalist ploy and can reduce people engagement in art. Check it out if you’re interested in rethinking your own relationship with spoilers. (Or even if you’re not! It’s interesting!)
Because I’ve been on my computer way too much, I was around to see people arguing over whether or not Steve Martin is funny? Using the satirical King Tut song as evidence of him not being funny???? I guess the kids didn’t realize they didn’t invent anti-consumerism. Also now I have King Tut in my head.
What I’ve Been Reading:
Currently:
The Great Post Office Scandal by Nick Wallis
In the late 90s, the UK Post Office and Fujitsu partnered to create Horizon, a theoretically ground-breaking IT system that would bring the Post Office into the modern age. Between 2000 and 2015, over 700 subpostmasters were prosecuted by the Post Office for theft, false accounting and fraud that had been “brought to light” by Horizon. Many of these subpostmasters detailed harrowing stories of Horizon’s calculations just not adding up, but they were overwhelmed by the Post Office’s narrative of “computers don’t make mistakes.” This book is horrifying! The cover-up is horrifying! Friends! Computers are made by humans and they do make mistakes!
Completed:
The Anomaly by Hervé Le Tellier
Paul hyped this book in his January newsletter, saying you should read it but don’t read anything *about* it before starting, and even though I said about that I don’t care about spoilers, I’d like to echo that advice! I loved this book and want to talk to people about it but I want you to come into it as fresh as I did, because the journey is really wonder. It’s a low-key, philosophical thriller that asks some questions about what one might do if some of their basic understandings are challenged.
Miss Me With That by Rachel Lindsay
I’m so fascinated by the Bachelor ecosystem! Lindsay was the first Black lead in the 20-year (or whatever) franchise, and this book hold some interesting insights into how the game is played, and how the show did her dirty. I don’t agree with all of her personal takes, but that’s okay! I’m still glad she found love amidst the Bachelor minefield.
While We Were Dating by Jasmine Guillory
Gosh, I’m such a sucker for a good romance. It doesn’t really matter that you can see the Happy Ever After from a million miles away, it’s sweet and fun and the characters are lovable and respectful and have nice families.
The Burning Page by Genevieve Cogman
This is a fun-enough series — It’s a multiverse! The main character is a librarian spy! There are faeries and dragons and they are constantly warring even though they secretly need each other to balance themselves out! Humans are irrelevant in their games! But I read this last month and I don’t remember anything about it, so it’s that kind of novel. You may be in the mood for that! Also there are eight of these, so, if you want to just kind of lose yourself in other worlds, holler at this series.
Record of a Spaceborn Few *and* The Galaxy, and the Ground Within by Becky Chambers
You know how some sci-fi is like, in space, but has replicated all the same problems of our existing society and it feels very annoying and boring that the author can imagine a life in a different galaxy but not the end of patriarchal power structures or capitalism? Chambers is kind of an antidote for that. I am getting kind of tired of series, but Chambers does a very interesting and risky thing in the Wayfarers series; it’s the same universe, but each book features different characters in a completely different setting. It allows her to build and grow the universe, but you can also accidentally get book 4 from the library before book 3 (oops!) and there are no “spoilers.” Chambers is really interested in the philosophy of why we do things, and exploring different ways life can survive and flourish and co-exist, and I do think it’s very lovely. Also, there are non bi-pedal aliens, which is dope.
The Edge of Anything by Nora Shalaway Carpenter
This is a really beautiful YA book about an unlikely friendship that is borne out of two young women unable to process loss, to the point that they are making dangerous decisions about themselves. It can be hard to read at times — I was very stressed out about their decisions, but one of the things about reading YA novels is that young adults make very bad decisions!
Among the Hidden by Margaret Peterson Haddix
I read this for YA book club and it is a perfectly serviceable meditation about life in a fascist regime, propaganda, and the internet. There are seven books in this series! I have started to become exhausted by series.
The Committed by Viet Thanh Nguyen
This is a sequel to The Sympathizer, a book that fucked me up for weeks by changing the emphasis in the phrase “nothing is more precious than independence and freedom.” (Spoiler alert for the link, sort of.) Committed is not quite as powerful to me, but still dizzying in Nguyen’s attempt to write a reformed-Communist-spy-turned-gangster treatise on Marxism, French colonialism, and American imperialism. And gosh, it’s funny, even with its tendency to ramble at times. It also made me remember that reading hard books sometimes is fun, so that was good for my brain.
I miss you all so much! And I miss hugs. Can’t wait to hug you all. Sorry this newsletter is not that great, I just wanted to whine about finally getting the plague.
much love,
davida