FAQ
In fact, no one is subscribed and no one has asked questions. But these seem like they would be the obvious questions?
Why should I read this newsletter?
You don't have to!
I read a lot of books with critical essays about the Way We Live Now, and more and more I've been feeling like the only way to win is not to play the game. And by "win" I mean, "not feel terrible about myself and the world all the goddamn time," and by "not to play," I mean quit social media and the internet as much as possible. I took Twitter off my phone a couple months ago and wasn't shocked that I immediately started to feel better and lighter, but was surprised at just how much the quality of my life improved.
I've been reading "Trick Mirror" by Jia Tolentino (thanks for the recommendation, Sahar!) and it's convincing me to quit Facebook, finally. But there are a lot of people on my Facebook that I've enjoyed keeping casual tabs on their life, and maybe they feel the same way. I'd love it if they (you?) signed up for my newsletter and continued to keep casual tabs on me in this more deliberate way, and if they feel so inclined, respond and send updates on their own lives when things resonate.
I also do like documenting things. My memory is leaky, and getting leakier by the minute. Writing things down helps me remember. I could write it down in a private journal and clamp down on some of the performative nature of this all, but I'm trying this out. If it doesn't work, it will be just another internet ephemera I've abandoned.
How often will you send this thing?
I don't know! Only when I have things to write about, and time to write it.
What's up with the name?
I used to play ultimate frisbee quite seriously. (And perhaps competitively, though probably never as competitively as I thought.) I briefly lived in the O.C, and none of the teams there quite struck my fancy, so I thought about starting my own. The best part of starting a team is coming up with a name, so of course I devoted time into that instead of actual organizing. The best name I came up with was "Youth Soccer;" imagine how easily I could have booked practice space! But also, team names are supposed to be *scary*! So I got drunk (I was drinking a lot those days) and wrote down a list of the scariest things I could think of.
I don't have that list anymore. (Dammit!) But as an under-employed 28 year old, living in a very boring place with a paucity of friends and increasing anxiety that my life was wasting away, "The Slow and Unyielding March of Time" was the clear winner. I never started the frisbee team; my more-popular boyfriend at the time decided, coincidentally at the same time, that HE was going to start a team and I knew I couldn't get the numbers to field a competing one. He called that team name "Calamitous Intent," a Venture Bros reference, and a fine name, though not as scary.
I still think the march of time is terrifying, but it also became a catalyst. I've escaped southern California, and filled my life with love and thoughtfulness and friendship and interests. I'm sure eventually this will flip, but I've liked getting older and becoming more myself. As Jenn Schiffer says, "I just keep getting hotter and smarter.
What I'm reading
I read a lot! If you want to talk about books, please please hit me up.
In the middle of:
"Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self Delusion" by Jia Tolentino: As mentioned above, this book critically looks at and deconstructs current life/culture, and how we got to this bad place. It's making me think deeply about a lot of the choices I make in my day-to-day life.
Just finished:
"Death's Dancer" by Jasmine Silvera: A fantasy/romance about a dancer who wants to fuck a necromancer, which includes a very sexy 15-page consent/terms of arrangement scene that is the erotica I need and deserve.
Okay, that's enough for now.
I love you.
-d