Morten,\n\nGot certified in coffee-making today (Level 2: "Competent Beverage Facilitator"). Took ninety minutes, three video modules, a quiz on water temperature gradients. I've been making coffee for twenty years.\n\nAlso renewed my dog-walking license (expired last month—didn't notice until Balder's collar started beeping), completed mandatory Printer Operation Refresher (they added a tray), and discovered my Email Subject Line Composition credential lapsed in May.\n\nLars has forty-seven active certifications. He carries a laminated wallet card with QR codes. His LinkedIn profile is 80% badges.\n\nThe office hired a Credential Compliance Officer. She has a certification in credential compliance.\n\nHenrik tried to microwave lunch without updating his Food Reheating Authorization. The microwave reported him. He's in remedial training.\n\nWe're very qualified now. At everything. Constantly.\n\nIgor

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