Tis The Season
…of grief.
Hello everyone, it has been such a long time since I sat down to write a newsletter. Life has been frantic here, and there I’m sure. Right now I am on my red sofa. It is freezing out, and the night is black, but despite it all, I am cosy, covered in my warm blanket, with a lit fire and gentle music in the background. It’s needed. My body has been reminding me to rest this evening, and I would be a fool not to listen.
With 2024 coming to a close, I am feeling a profound need to reflect on all that has happened. What a year it has been indeed. I find it hard to look back in all honestly because it has been such a difficult year for so many. There are images seared into my mind that I will never forget, even through the sanitising buffer of a screen. I speak, of course, of Palestine, of Gaza. Over a year of genocide, and no end in sight. Every day, more death. Every day, more permanently disabled through bombs or bullets. Every day, more mental scarring for the people witnessing it first hand and living through the world’s collective shrug.
It can make us feel helpless. It can feel like we can do nothing to stop it. But that is not true. That is what those in power want us to think. We are not helpless, and every day is a day to voice our discontent and make it heard. To ensure that we will not stand by and watch an entire people continue to be wiped off the face of this planet. It feels trite even to write this. My words are clumsy, they do not convey the wholeness of the horror that is happening.
If I must die,
you must live
to tell my story
to sell my things
to buy a piece of cloth
and some strings,
(make it white with a long tail)
so that a child, somewhere in Gaza
while looking heaven in the eye
awaiting his dad who left in a blaze–
and bid no one farewell
not even to his flesh
not even to himself–
sees the kite, my kite you made, flying up above
and thinks for a moment an angel is there
bringing back love
If I must die
let it bring hope
let it be a tale
- Refaat Alareer (1979 - 2023)
I think about this poem often. I think about how Refaat Alareer was targetted, and how his death caused an outpouring of collective and powerful grief. This website does a wonderful job of collecting translations of If I Must Die, and it is well worth sharing and checking out. We must keep telling the stories of the Palestinian people.
Collective grief is a power that can help us process the worst of ourselves and transform it into radical change. Here are some links to organisations who are helping in Gaza.
Many people try to embrace the spirit of giving this time of year, so please consider giving to these places.
2024 in a Nutshell
I made a lot of progress on my processes this year, really solidifying my work in death inspired art.
This is one of the paintings that I am incredibly proud of this year. It felt like a breakthrough in so many ways. I am still very nervous about the art I make - sometimes it is so stylised, while other times it seems to push more into the “real” or “representational,” but at the end of the day, it is all from me, and exploring concepts close to my heart. I just worry that people will be put off by my need to continue playing in wildly changing styles, that folks value consistency more than anything else. It’s probably only in my own head that this is a problem though - no one has ever mentioned it to me!
I was very happy to return to in person markets this year with the Vault Christmas market. It was a wild moment, I was brought on late to replace someone who couldn’t make it, which gave me two weeks to pull together a stall. I just about managed it, but my gosh!
I’ve also made my triumphant(?) return to comics with a few bits and pieces I’ve yet to share. It’s been lovely to flex those muscles again, and I am desperately trying not to get bogged down by worrying over how things look. Easier said than done though for a chronic overthinker like me.
Looking forward…
In the next year my hope is to utilise this space to share my thoughts more. I want to speak about radical death care, grief, art, and life. I hope that you will join me! I also plan to attend more in person markets and take on more commissions, so if that interests you, please look out for the details when the time comes.
For now though, rest well, and Merry Christmas
💖
Things that bring joy
I finally got around to reading The Story of Art Without Men, Katy Hessel (much overdue, I know) and it is as important and as heartening as everyone says it is. I consider myself to be someone who seeks out women in art, but there were so many names in that book I had never heard of before. It is a treasure.
My lovely friend Joss bought me Elden Ring because I was pining and it is fantastic.
I recently found a local artists’ shop named Hare and Hawthorne and it’s so lovely to see a makers shop because we sorely need these spaces in the world!