What is, in fact, a "Low-Rent Will Turner?"
Hello friends, as we move through yet another week. We're so close to freedom. So close. Only a day left. Why are weekends freedom? Is it just the one day I have where I don't have to work and the one day I have to panic about work the next day? Gosh. I guess I should enjoy today, knowing how close Friday is. Time is a flat circle and it's planning to crush me like a boulder.
Ahem.
(Also if you get this twice - my apologies! I have no idea what is going on with Tiny Letter).
A friend of mine reminded me that not everyone knows about a phrase a use and I find it funny, so I'm going to describe it here. Is it so I never have to explain myself again when it comes to this phrase? Maybe. Is it because I hope that my name is associated with this phrase? Who knows. Who cares!
Warning, to make my point, this newsletter is going to be image heavy, but considering you already opened it to read this far... tough luck!
So in 2013, The Hobbit and the Desolation of Smaug came out. It was a fine film (I actually wrote a review on it for my college magazine, if you're so inclined). But as I watched the film, there was one character who kept popping up in my mind, for all the wrong reasons. Bard the Bowman, played by Luke Evans is... fine. I don't care about his performance, and if I'm being honest, I saw him earlier in the year in Fast and Furious 6 where he rode a tank and murdered people and it was glorious. No, something about this character made me think of someone else, and I could not think of why.
And then it hit me -- his character looked like the low-rent version of another character. A beloved character from my youth. Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Did a pick a photo where Low-Rent Will Turner shared screen time with the actor of Will Turner? Yes. But, now you may say, what do you MEAN by low rent?
Now, low rent does NOT mean anything except that... Bard is the actor/character that you would call if you couldn't get Will Turner. Like, one is a little more cleaned up and famous and has a fucking pirate ship and one is the bowman who, through plot convenience, managed to kill the dragon in the first five minutes of The Battle of Five Armies.
"Well okay" you scoff. "They're two white guys with long-ish brown hair and some dirt and some scruff. But you can't--"
Oh but I CAN. My next example is the character Captain Boomerang from the 2016 film, Suicide Squad. Bad movie. Let's not discuss. But I'm going to show you the character, played by Jai Courtney, known for.... shit, things he has been in. I dunno, other movies. Maybe Divergent?? Who cares, that is not the point.
Now, let me show you a scruffy Tom Hardy from around the same time frame:
To be the "low rent" version of someone is not to say they are a lesser actor. In fact, it's mainly that they are not the famous actor that people think they are. So instead of hiring, say, Tom Hardy for that role, you hire Jai Courtney, who, to the untrained eye, one assumes it IS Tom Hardy. Once you get home and look up the credits for the movie, you have a good laugh, and you move on with your life, while mainly remembering the not-as-well-known actor as someone who looked like someone else who was more famous.
Another argument is Javier Bardem and Jeffery Dean Morgan and they're not so much similar looking as the same type of vibe. One could 100% argue that they are the low rent version of each other, depending on whose media you consume more.
So what have we learned, now that you have sat through me objectifying men? Nothing? Yeah, probably not. But damn, does Hollywood have a type when they come to hiring actors.
Case in point, the following. I have no idea who is the low rent version, but my god, I watched Ready or Not excited to see Margot Robbie in a new role only to learn that was 100% not her and there were even more. Still a great movie, though.
Moving on, this week we have a few things I found delightful:
Ahem.
(Also if you get this twice - my apologies! I have no idea what is going on with Tiny Letter).
A friend of mine reminded me that not everyone knows about a phrase a use and I find it funny, so I'm going to describe it here. Is it so I never have to explain myself again when it comes to this phrase? Maybe. Is it because I hope that my name is associated with this phrase? Who knows. Who cares!
Warning, to make my point, this newsletter is going to be image heavy, but considering you already opened it to read this far... tough luck!
So in 2013, The Hobbit and the Desolation of Smaug came out. It was a fine film (I actually wrote a review on it for my college magazine, if you're so inclined). But as I watched the film, there was one character who kept popping up in my mind, for all the wrong reasons. Bard the Bowman, played by Luke Evans is... fine. I don't care about his performance, and if I'm being honest, I saw him earlier in the year in Fast and Furious 6 where he rode a tank and murdered people and it was glorious. No, something about this character made me think of someone else, and I could not think of why.
And then it hit me -- his character looked like the low-rent version of another character. A beloved character from my youth. Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Did a pick a photo where Low-Rent Will Turner shared screen time with the actor of Will Turner? Yes. But, now you may say, what do you MEAN by low rent?
Now, low rent does NOT mean anything except that... Bard is the actor/character that you would call if you couldn't get Will Turner. Like, one is a little more cleaned up and famous and has a fucking pirate ship and one is the bowman who, through plot convenience, managed to kill the dragon in the first five minutes of The Battle of Five Armies.
"Well okay" you scoff. "They're two white guys with long-ish brown hair and some dirt and some scruff. But you can't--"
Oh but I CAN. My next example is the character Captain Boomerang from the 2016 film, Suicide Squad. Bad movie. Let's not discuss. But I'm going to show you the character, played by Jai Courtney, known for.... shit, things he has been in. I dunno, other movies. Maybe Divergent?? Who cares, that is not the point.
Now, let me show you a scruffy Tom Hardy from around the same time frame:
To be the "low rent" version of someone is not to say they are a lesser actor. In fact, it's mainly that they are not the famous actor that people think they are. So instead of hiring, say, Tom Hardy for that role, you hire Jai Courtney, who, to the untrained eye, one assumes it IS Tom Hardy. Once you get home and look up the credits for the movie, you have a good laugh, and you move on with your life, while mainly remembering the not-as-well-known actor as someone who looked like someone else who was more famous.
Another argument is Javier Bardem and Jeffery Dean Morgan and they're not so much similar looking as the same type of vibe. One could 100% argue that they are the low rent version of each other, depending on whose media you consume more.
So what have we learned, now that you have sat through me objectifying men? Nothing? Yeah, probably not. But damn, does Hollywood have a type when they come to hiring actors.
Case in point, the following. I have no idea who is the low rent version, but my god, I watched Ready or Not excited to see Margot Robbie in a new role only to learn that was 100% not her and there were even more. Still a great movie, though.
Moving on, this week we have a few things I found delightful:
- Craft In The Real World by Matthew Salesses is a fascinating book on writing. A friend recommended me this book months ago (if not over a year... sorry! but I read it now!) but it takes your writing and breaks it down, section by section, character motivation to the setting. There's a line in it where it talks about the idea that some writers have of "setting being a character" and how that doesn't really work for most stories, and instead how setting reflects on a character. There were just a lot of little tidbits and exercises that if you're looking for a book to help push your writing to be a bit better, this might be the one for you. It does delve into workshops a lot, something I don't do, so that part was a little skippable for me, but it offers ways to critique within workshops, so if you're looking for critique methods, this could help.
- Adagio Fandom Teas: Honestly I forgot how good this shit is until I had to rebuy some and uGH. I was first introduced to this in 2013, and I went fucking NUTS. Nothing like having your bougie loose-leaf tea with a fandom twist. I will admit, that just because you love the fandom, doesn't mean you'll love the tea, but I'll share some of my absolute favorites. Favorites to the point I've rebought them multiple times. But before that -- there's just something incredible about how some of these tea blend together, in a way that I haven't tasted before. Ugh. Delicious. Let me know if you're interested and I can send you a $5 coupon off for your first order. :D
- Loki tea (now called Adopted so they're not sued) has gunpowder spearmint rooibos, and jasmine for a perfect tea. I have rebought it like eight billion times, which is a lot of cups. It's powerful enough to wake you up, but subtle enough that you can be cozy as you are awoken.
- Dean Tea : Teas: Hazelnut, Tiger Eye & Spiced Mate Accented With Marigold Flowers. Straight up one of the most delicious things to have first thing in the morning, especially with a splash of milk. (Yes, dean as in Dean Winchester)
- Barrels of Tea: Teas: Irish Breakfast, Vanilla & Spiced Apple Chai Accented With Apple Pieces. Another good morning one, with just enough kick to keep you going.
- Dammit Tea: Teas: Irish Breakfast, Cinnamon & Rooibos Peach Accented With Cinnamon Spice & Orange Peels. LORD this one is incredible. Just enough to drop kick you awake and want to stab someone with a hypospray, a la a certain angry doctor. ;D
- And finally, someone sent me this most recent Tiny Desk with NPR featuring Yasmin Williams. I've never heard of her before this video but the things she does with a guitar are both mystifying and magical sounding. I high recommend a listen.
Thanks so much for checking in, and have a lovely rest of your week!
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