How many gaming hours is too many hours?
So last week I was saying how I couldn't focus on anything except for one video that didn't deserve the publicity my newsletter could give it so I wouldn't talk about it. Well, I lied.
Not that it deserves the publicity - that I'm going to talk about it. Hi! Happy Thursday.
If you didn't know, I'm a huge fan of JRPGs, which have a few staple things. Great soundtracks, epic worlds, anime-like characters standing with their group of friends fighting what always weirdly feels like some kind of christian god allegory (or maybe that was just the Persona series). Either way, I have a few staple series that I enjoy and The Tales series is one of them!
I've only played a few entrants into the series, and unlike the Kingdom Hearts series where every game is related (unfortunately), the Tales series are unrelated stories in different worlds. Now, this series hasn't... had the best stories recently, but there was a new game coming out, Tales of Arise, and I thought hey! The graphics look amazing. It has a lot of voice actors I like in it. How bad could it be?
So bad. Like, I can't fathom or explain without having to break down all the stupid parts of it how bad it was. The plot was atrocious. The pacing was horrific. The music forgettable. The fighting basic and honestly just BAD. The AI's were nonresponsive and idiotic. The characters so tropey that you could tell what they would say next every time. There were typos in the dialogue boxes (that's if the dialogue happened to match what the actors were saying!), the animation sometimes forgot to have the characters react to situations. The end of the game forgot to credit the English Cast. I ... could truly go on (and for those who got legit essays already - you are appreciated and your sacrifice not forgotten).
AND YET.
I played almost 80 hours of it. With a solid 15 being this last weekend.
I knew the game was garbage then. I knew that the plot was so batshit insane there would be nothing saving it. And yet I had such FUN playing it! I loved watching my stupid archetypical characters say exactly what I thought they would. I enjoyed when I could kick ass in a fight (against the same five different monsters across all the different locations, mind you), and saw the same animations and cheered when my sweet characters did well. I did every side quest! I found every owl! I cooked every meal! I beat the game - which was a mistake because whew boy that was worse than I was expecting! But as soon as I finished the credits, I loaded it back up to go fight the extra special post game dungeon!
I cannot explain why this game drew me in. It frustrated me to no end but it was also such a fun time playing it (again, not the story. I usually walked away to make food while those cutscenes were happening). But it was the strangest experience.
You all know I hate read books. Normally, if I hate a video game, I usually walk away (cause 80 hours?? Is a long time). But this?? I think I managed to loop fully back from "I hate this" (venomous) to "I hate this" (affectionate). What a change! How fascinating.
Anyway, if you want the full two hour spiel, please let me know and I will finish my presentation - Why, despite my love, this game is garbage and why you can't do a third act twist like that because it was poorly done and also why were they legit three people of color the entire game and also how did you forget to CREDIT THE ENGLISH CAST when you remembered the assistant marketer from the US???
Ahem. Onto links! Also if you're not aware of the PRHSS vs DOJ trail happening, here's a thread livetweeting the situation.
Not that it deserves the publicity - that I'm going to talk about it. Hi! Happy Thursday.
If you didn't know, I'm a huge fan of JRPGs, which have a few staple things. Great soundtracks, epic worlds, anime-like characters standing with their group of friends fighting what always weirdly feels like some kind of christian god allegory (or maybe that was just the Persona series). Either way, I have a few staple series that I enjoy and The Tales series is one of them!
I've only played a few entrants into the series, and unlike the Kingdom Hearts series where every game is related (unfortunately), the Tales series are unrelated stories in different worlds. Now, this series hasn't... had the best stories recently, but there was a new game coming out, Tales of Arise, and I thought hey! The graphics look amazing. It has a lot of voice actors I like in it. How bad could it be?
So bad. Like, I can't fathom or explain without having to break down all the stupid parts of it how bad it was. The plot was atrocious. The pacing was horrific. The music forgettable. The fighting basic and honestly just BAD. The AI's were nonresponsive and idiotic. The characters so tropey that you could tell what they would say next every time. There were typos in the dialogue boxes (that's if the dialogue happened to match what the actors were saying!), the animation sometimes forgot to have the characters react to situations. The end of the game forgot to credit the English Cast. I ... could truly go on (and for those who got legit essays already - you are appreciated and your sacrifice not forgotten).
AND YET.
I played almost 80 hours of it. With a solid 15 being this last weekend.
I knew the game was garbage then. I knew that the plot was so batshit insane there would be nothing saving it. And yet I had such FUN playing it! I loved watching my stupid archetypical characters say exactly what I thought they would. I enjoyed when I could kick ass in a fight (against the same five different monsters across all the different locations, mind you), and saw the same animations and cheered when my sweet characters did well. I did every side quest! I found every owl! I cooked every meal! I beat the game - which was a mistake because whew boy that was worse than I was expecting! But as soon as I finished the credits, I loaded it back up to go fight the extra special post game dungeon!
I cannot explain why this game drew me in. It frustrated me to no end but it was also such a fun time playing it (again, not the story. I usually walked away to make food while those cutscenes were happening). But it was the strangest experience.
You all know I hate read books. Normally, if I hate a video game, I usually walk away (cause 80 hours?? Is a long time). But this?? I think I managed to loop fully back from "I hate this" (venomous) to "I hate this" (affectionate). What a change! How fascinating.
Anyway, if you want the full two hour spiel, please let me know and I will finish my presentation - Why, despite my love, this game is garbage and why you can't do a third act twist like that because it was poorly done and also why were they legit three people of color the entire game and also how did you forget to CREDIT THE ENGLISH CAST when you remembered the assistant marketer from the US???
Ahem. Onto links! Also if you're not aware of the PRHSS vs DOJ trail happening, here's a thread livetweeting the situation.
- I mentioned Dropout.tv a while ago for comedy videos and they're wonderful but they're also on Youtube! I legit cannot stop watching there so another rec - Breaking News Network! Basically they have to read the teleprompter like it's the news and not laugh and ... of course it's hilarious when they break. Notable favorites are this one where one of the women cannot keep a straight face at all, this one where they discuss birds and did you know that not all dinosaurs are birds? And notable addition to the birds comment is one of the actors, Brennan, trying to offer to name birds instead of actors in this one, giving us the famed line, "Nobody wants your birds, Brennan!" Iconic.
- Speaking of birds! I came across this article about a Whitenaped-crane who "allegedly" murdered two of her mates and then fell in love with her human zookeeper! Here's a short video if you would prefer watching. But yeah! I don't know what is weirder: that they are mated; that the zookeeper's last name is Crowe; that the birds live until 60 and mate for life and since the bird is only 36, he can't retire while she's alive; or that they have children! No, I will not elaborate!
- Shout out to my friend for sending along the Phoenix Wright version of Alex Jones committing perjury!
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