✷greetings ✷

oof, so much has happened since my last letter. i'm just gonna dive in.

my trip to pennsylvania trip was a lot. my parents didn't use my pronouns, even with prompting. not gonna lie, i didn't expect much but it didn't make it any less of a bummer. however, it felt very affirming to spend time with the only two people in my family who do use my pronouns (one of whom is 12, because kids just get it, y'know?). when i got home my mom sent me a picture of a stick bug as a way of saying she cares, i think. she isn't into bugs, but i had been hunting for cicadas and other bugs i miss while i was there. we're so different, and moving so far away has allowed me to grow in ways i don't think would've been possible otherwise. the downside is my family doesn't really know me anymore, and coming out to them was a way for me to try to bridge this gap that's been growing since i moved away. i hope they come around.

visiting the deleware bay was the most relaxing part of the trip. accidentally driving on rt 30 was a feat outside my comfort zone, though i pretty immediately downplayed it. visiting my hometown made me glad i live in a city that is mostly taking covid seriously. i'm also glad i have a support system who doesn't think i'm overreacting in my response to it. i'm very, very glad i tested negative upon my return home.

✷ zines news ✷

i tabled olympia zine fest 5.5 earlier this month and it was fantastic to do a zine thing and see so many friendly faces. i didn’t get to walk around nearly as much as i wanted because i was slammed the whole time, even with my partner coby’s help at the table. i was very excited about sasquatch scouts (a nonhierarchical, all-ages scouting disorganization) and i did a trade with anemone studio and got a bunch of beautiful risograph stuff. the only bummer thing about the whole day was that a lot of people assumed that my stuff was made by coby, presumably because he’s a cis man and was sitting behind the table with me, an afab nonbinary person. it felt akin to walking into a venue holding a guitar and being asked what my boyfriend’s band is called. just super invalidating and shitty (: so let this be a polite reminder to interrogate internalized sexism/misogyny i guess! none of us are immune and these internal biases are important to unpack.

in other zine news, wanderer issue 7 is now up in my etsy shop. also, a spanish translation of how to support your non-binary family member is now available in physical format in my etsy shop (i revised the pdf too so it's formatting like the zine). the digital translation has been available for a while, but someone recently asked for a physical copy and lit a fire under my ass to lay it out in indesign. a million thank yous again to daniella for the translation.

and last but certainly not least, a handful of my zines will be included in an upcoming exhibition at houston center for contemporary craft in houston, tx. the exhibit is called copy culture: zines made and shared, it starts october 2nd and runs until january 8th, 2022.

✷ shop news ✷

all regular packaging for my shop is now compostable, recyclable or recycled/reused! i’ve been looking for a decent, affordable alternative to kraft bubble mailers for a while now, and i finally went down a research rabbit hole where i discovered eco mailers with cornstarch bubbles. i also switched to biodegradable packing tape and labels for my direct thermal printer (thanks john!!). i feel really good about putting less plastic waste out into the world. hmu if you want links to any of these things for your own shipping situation!

usps is imposing a rate increase on oct 3rd, just a heads up in case you wanna get your holiday shopping outta the way early. if you’re planning on shopping small this year, and i hope you are, don’t wait til the last minute! usps is subject to delays around the holidays and shipping is more expensive, not to mention there's a ton of supply chain disruptions right now. september/october/november are better than december if you wanna get the thing in time! i mention this because i’m in the early stages of beginning to bulk up my stock for the holidays.

i just released 25 new button designs (you saw it here first!), and i’m hoping to have a few new stickers. if there’s a design of mine you’re dying to see on a sticker, do let me know!

✷ fucking hooray ✷

i drove on i-5 for the first time in 7 years! for those who don’t know, i broke both my legs in a car accident 12 years ago and i’ve had a lot of driving anxiety as a result. i drove out west from pennsylvania to move here and it kinda broke me. ptsd works in mysterious ways, and i didn’t drive on the highway again for 5 years. i was making progress, then the pandemic hit. i’m having a really hard time celebrating even though this is huge. i feel like my brain wont accept that it’s real since i only drove on it for a few exists. shoutout to my therapist, thanks for taking your life into your hands and hopping in the car with me. you go, deborah!

my ongoing hurray is that i love love! i don’t like to talk about being polyamorous too much because i feel like there’s a trope that polyam people never shut up about being polyam but like ! really beautiful things have happened for me since embracing polyamory approximately 9 years ago. i never read any of the books, but i read dean spade’s essay, “for lovers and fighters” and something just clicked for me. monogamy didn’t work for me in many ways- it left little room for the emotionally intimate friendships that nourish me, the way people romanticize jealousy always made me feel like property, and as an asexual person, it put a lot of pressure on me to participate in sex i felt expected to have (or else risk being left). over the years i haven’t dated so much as i’ve had a lot of crushes, mostly unspoken or unreciprocated, outside my relationship with kyle (who is my nesting partner- the person i share a home with). but at this moment i feel like all the work i’ve done around stuff is paying off big time. falling in love with someone who feels the same way about me (and is able to effectively communicate that) is super dope. i really love the little polyam constellation i’m a part of right now, and i’m so glad to be gracefully traversing this new territory.

stuff = shedding people-pleasing tendencies and the porous boundaries that go with them, honoring my needs, boundaries and desires, learning how to directly and effectively communicate, checking in and approaching conflict head-on for resolution instead of trying my best to not rock the boat.

anyway, that's all for now. thank y'all for being here and take care <3

love, alyssa

~ past perzine newsletters ~