★ hey y'all,

what's your fucking hooray?

for those who are not familiar with my favorite murder (a true crime comedy podcast), at the end of each episode, the hosts share their "fucking hooray" to close the show on a lighter, less murdery note. it's a practice i'm trying to cultivate in my life (and by extension, this letter), because i don't know if you're cognizant of the world right now, but it's pretty fucking bleak out there. i keep sitting down to write and nothing but bummer comes out. so i'm gonna begin and end this letter to you with some fucking hoorays. i would love to hear yours.

it's fall, apparently. the crisp air is nice. maple leaves are yellow and falling here, saffron crocuses are in bloom. neighborhood pumpkins are pretty dope. one of my sunflowers survived our yard deer unscathed and bloomed brilliantly huge before doing a face-plant in the rain. the assemblage of succulent cuttings i've proplifted from around town over the years has proudly established itself in the backyard. i'm excited to make some soups with the immersion blender.

★ zine news

my in-progress zine, thank you for telling me: supporting your nonbinary family (this is the least clunky iteration of the title yet!) is out for notes. i am very bad at receiving critique but i know it'll make the zine better, so i'm sticking it out. i would love for some cis people to read over it, especially cis folks with kids. if this is you, please get in touch and i will make it worth your while. bear in mind that it's 27 full pages (not zine pages, doc pages). i hope to amend this draft with the help of notes in the next couple weeks, and then start working on the layout. i may be looking into presses/distros to help with the production of it, since i've never made a zine longer than 24 pages, and this one will be approximately 52. that's a lot to print. it's definitely the longest thing i've ever written.

i have a couple mini zines in the works right now as well. one of them is about some small things that bring me joy, the other is a tool to help practice self-compassion during tough times. i'm hoping that i'll finish them, but i'm not holding myself to it. i'm liable to fall prey to "the shoulds," but i'm trying not to engage in must-erbation for the health of my already overwhelmed brain.

★ patreon

i have 4 pledges and i am officially no longer breaking even on my patreon dues (i pledge $15 a month there to other creative folks). i have no complaints! i know not everyone is able or into the monthly pledge thing, but i'm still hopeful about finding a small following there. patreon is a comically good example of the diy scene and independent artists passing the same 20 dollar bill around indefinitely.

★ wares

holographic stickers have been restocked in my 2hot4etsy shop: craftordiy.shop. the acab ones are on etsy as well, since they don't openly depict violence or tools thereof (since etsy isn't down with direct action). i'm having an etsy sale that goes til the end of september, use the code LIGHTLEAVES at checkout. message me if i'm out of a thing you want, i probably have more. if you order from both shops, i'll combine the shipping and refund the overage on one of the platforms.

★ bummer stuff

this month has been emotionally difficult. i don't have much to show for it, and i'm trying to be okay with that. i've been thinking a lot about climate change, the numerous harms of capitalism, the ways that we've failed the land. the smoke has cleared in olympia, but so many areas are still engulfed. being unable to go outside or so much as open a window for a week did awful things to my already fragile psyche. this month i saw someone walking their dog while wearing what was effectively a gas mask, under a daytime gray sky with a blazing orange dot for a sun... and it didn't strike me as particularly shocking or odd. it's bizarre to watch the dystopian present unfold- from the racist police state to the abysmal presidential candidates (and now the peril of the supreme court), all the while the world on fire. i've been trying to not let myself spiral into hopelessness. i'm just looking ahead to the days when i can hug my friends and go to shows again (or replaying fond memories of when that was still A Thing).

this advice column was a long but crucial read for me. you could say it called me in. there's too much good stuff to quote, so i'll leave you with this: "When the mass graves are dug will we finally find a daily planner or productivity app we like?"

this piece also really resonated, here's a quote: “What happens if what you once used to make sense of things no longer helps you make sense of things? What happens if the patterns and habits and metaphors we lean on do not serve us in the moments we need them? What happens if the stories we tell ourselves about our lives leave us lonely, wrestling with meaning? What then?”

not exactly uplifting, but maybe you relate?

i'm still asking myself (and others) these questions: what pre-pandemic coping mechanisms do you no longer have access to? have you created any new ones in their absence? how are you planning to (emotionally) survive the winter?

★ fucking hooray

if anyone needs some exceptionally upbeat, fun music to listen to, cheekface is my current recommendation. i've been concocting winter survival plans (i consider post-halloween to be winter, especially here in the pnw, call it a side effect of seasonal affective disorder). these plans include a "stay sane phone tree" to remind myself that i have friends, and shockingly, it makes me feel good when i talk to them on the phone. i'm enjoying the process of working on a new zine that involves drawing tiny things, as small art is very much my comfort zone. i've been playing guitar again for the first time in forever. i also picked up my watercolors this month and painted some moths, i'm hoping to make more time to paint bugs in the future. y'all are the first ones that get to see this painting.

i hope y'all are doing as okay as you can be <3

love, alyssa

~ past perzine newsletters ~