✹ greetings ✹

happy pride! throw a brick at a cop, as tuck might say.

if you haven’t thought about palestine today, here’s a site where you can donate directly to vetted gofundme campaigns.

today i present to you, perzine newsletter, the burnout edition. it’s what happens when you have too many spinning plates for too long and you are finally punished for your hubris.

a mostly grayscale photo manipulation of a small white butterfly with flames coming off of its wings and handwritten lyrics that read, “you only live a day / but its brilliant anyway.”

not to be dramatic but i just spent most of today making this emo-ass photo manipulation with lyrics from independence day instead of replenishing inventory. (have i been listening to elliott smith for hours at a time for several days in a row? yes.) it harkens back to my high school deviantART days but i’m here for it? pretty good sign of where i’m at rn lmao.

telltale signs i am getting burned out, in no particular order:

• can’t keep track of what day of the week it is

• responding to texts/dms/messages becomes overwhelming and therefore is avoided for as long as possible

• any requests made of me feel like unreasonable demands

• feel trapped by commitments

• brain fog and body pain

the past few days i’ve been trying to spend the majority of my time doing things that i want to do instead of things i feel obligated to do. this is part of the antidote. i love spring and right now i feel more like a to-do list than a person. i’m trying to remind myself that it’s okay to occasionally let things fall by the wayside (tasks, communication, etc). for instance, i have a stack of letters by my bedside that were sent to me in february for my birthday. i haven’t responded to those letters. i don’t think anyone even expects me to respond to those letters. i feel incredibly guilty for not responding to those letters. i took a nice thing and turned it into a problem for myself lol. i’m trying to give myself more grace.

work in progress! a photo of a little free library that i am in the process of painting and modifying to use as a zine library. it’s partially painted olive green and pink in big, wavy strips.

lately, when i am not Working™, i pop into my yard and watch the bees. not knocking the bees, truly, they do great work. but i need more enrichment than that in my little enclosure. how does one create enrichment with So Little Energy?

when i’ve ventured out for gigs of late, i’ve felt pretty lonely. diy music has always been a home for me, but as the pandemic wears on, i feel like i have less and less in common with the show-going public, and less energy available to instigate conversation. age has a bit to do with it too (and not drinking). i long for community, but it feels more splintered than ever, and i’m not sure where to place my limited event-organizing spoons. i am getting a little bitter that i keep shelling out for these black kn95s so that the punks will mask up for the shows. is this how vegans feel? lol. one can only yell cautions to a largely indifferent populace for so long without experiencing some resentment.

i sure wish i had a positive quip to add at the end of this! lol. i don’t actually have well-laid plans for getting out of the burnout zone this time. i have too many projects but i don’t wanna put any of them down. right now i’m just trying to prioritize rest, which is never a bad idea.

anyway, here’s what i’ve been up to!

✹ zine news ✹

a scan of two mini zines on a grayscale marbled paper background. moth studies is a 1 sheet legal mini zine printed on spearmint green paper, cover features a drawing of a moth. how to choose a (high quality) mask is a 1 sheet letter mini zine printed on baby blue paper, cover features a drawing of an N95 respirator.

i have two new zines for y’all! they just shipped out to patrons & they are now available in my shop. the mask zine is also available as a free printable PDF.

speaking of zines, olympia zine fest and punk rock flea market both happened last month! zine fest was teeny tiny this year as they prepare to switch over to may longterm. it was delightful as usual!

oly punk rock flea market was fantastic. great turnout, smooth sailing working with friendship hall for the first time. we had mask bloc there all day ensuring that everyone in attendance had on a high quality respirator. several attendees i talked to travelled from tacoma and other surrounding areas specifically because of the mask requirement, which rules. we have a tentative date for the next market in september, you can sign up for our mailing list on the website if you’d like to be the first to know about it!

✹ clean air oly ✹

clean air oly has been extremely busy this month! the big purifier was loaned out three days in a row at one point (a new record!) and i think it’s maybe seen more events this month than in all previous months combined?? i hope this trend continues! and that i get some solid volunteers to help with transport so that it doesn’t always land on my partner in life/housing/crime, kyle (who is an eternal good sport, and they’re cute and funny to boot! and i can compliment them as much as i want without them putting up a fight because they don’t read this newsletter lol).

✹ second home ✹

we are plotting and scheming our big, big fundraiser right now. it looks like it will be a raffle, a kickstarter or patreon, and a show. it might be slow to roll out because i wanna be very intentional about it. feedback/ideas welcome! if you like to talk shop about this sort of thing, please reach out! i need more systems thinkers/spreadsheet toilers/extremely organized follow-thru planners in my corner. you can learn more about second home at our website.

we have a show coming up- june 19th at abc house (hmu for the address). pigeon pit is playing, the big purifier will be there and so will mask bloc! i will likely be hanging out with the ducks and chickens between sets.

✹ fucking hurray ✹

• garden is gardening and i love spending time in it

• i survived the deluge of pride month wholesales

• i’ve been obsessed with this heatmiser version of christian brothers. elliott’s voice feels especially naked here, then at 2:40 when the fuzzy guitars kick in— holy shit, so heavy.

• if i keep procrastinating the newsletter on a long enough timeline, it will come out at the end of the month again, which i think i prefer

• that feel when freshly laundered bedding and being freshly showered sync up chef’s kiss

• strawberry season

that’s all for now, thanks for reading <3