★ hey y'all,

i probably said this about last month too, but i cannot believe august is almost over. the end of august aways triggers a sort of dread in me, worrying that i didn't properly utelize summer and now i'm out of time. it's particularly strong this year, for obvious reasons. i'm kind of gripped with terror about the coming winter, to be honest. normally, getting out to gigs is the way i keep my head above water in winter. it may seem a little premature, but as far as i'm concerned, fall only lasts for a couple weeks in olympia. i'm not ready for the rain. taking walks and spending time outside has been on the very short list of things keeping me sane during this pandemic. i'm trying to create my own small things to look forward to and be excited for, but i'm prepared to be a mess. an even bigger mess?

what pre-pandemic coping mechanisms do you no longer have access to? have you created any new ones in their absence?

jacob blake and the protestors in milwaukee are in my thoughts. the milwaukee freedom fund is doing some vital work, if you're looking for somewhere to donate.

★ zine news

i have something like 25 pages written in a google doc towards this new non-binary zine. there's 3 main sections to it: processing, understanding and support (with multiple subheadings under each). this zine was initially intended to be a 101 level thing, but it got way more in-depth pretty much immediately. i want nonbinary folks to be able to give it to family after coming out, because i haven't found anything like it. it focuses very heavily on helping family process their confusion/grief/anger effectively so they can then offer actionable support. it's been difficult but rewarding to throw myself into research and probe my own experiences, as well as think about all the tools i've learned in therapy for dealing with challenging emotions. i realized i was putting a lot of pressure on myself to write this zine so it would be absolutely perfect and indisputable, mostly because i was planning on using it to come out to my own family. so i wrote a letter to my parents. i haven't given it to them yet, but it brought me comfort and took the heat off.

i also submitted to a zine this month, this is the image part of my submission without the text. the submission call was put out by munich zine library, for entries by or about women and queers making music. i wrote about the first show i went to in olympia, where i saw margy pepper play and they told all the dudes to fall back. and they listened, too. it was fucking wild. talk about a role reversal.

★ patreon

my patreon page is officially live! all of my zines are scanned and most of them are posted, i'm adding the rest whenever i find the time. if you don't know how patreon works, you pledge a monthly amount to creators you wanna support and get cool perks for it. you can cancel at any time. my tiers are as follows: for $1 you get patreon-exclusive coupons and advance heads up about preorders and whatnot. $5 a month gets you a digital subscription to each new zine i put out, plus access to the digital library (30+ zines, including one-offs and out-of-print zines). for $10 a month, you get a physical subscription to each new zine i put out (plus access to the whole digital archive). i currently have 2 patrons (thank you kelsey and neil!!), i hope i can garner a little following there. it's way more stable than fluctuating shop sales, and considering how cheap most of my wares are, even $1 pledges make a huge impact.

★ holographic stickers

i had some holographic stickers made recently as an experiment, there's still a few left if you wanna snag one: craftordiy.shop (you can also just reply here with your address and i'll send ya my venmo or paypal).

★ redbubble update

here's a link to all the designs on stickers, since that's mostly what folks buy on there. i dearly hope people spot the john mulaney joke.

★ comfort things

it seems like i always start this thing on a bummer note and try to save it at the end, so here's some things that have been bringing me comfort: preparing and drinking kava before bed, in an effort to calm my nerves and put myself to sleep. watching tv. mac and cheese (specifically eaten directly out of the pot). this episode of the hilarious world of depression podcast. listening to thataway by babytooth and crying a little bit (seriously cannot recommend this album enough, and bud tapes is a really rad label). listening to the same why? songs on repeat (namely light leaves and gemini birthday song lately).

i hope you're all doing as okay as you can be, or better <3

love, alyssa

~ past perzine newsletters ~