Casual Friendship Update Fun
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Hello, good friends, hello!
How have you been? It is I, Zach Mandeville, here with your semi-frequent round-up of news, reviews, musings, comedy shows, and, of course, friendship.
Let's get straight to the friendship news: relations have improved between me and the gym manager at the Wellington Regional Aquatic Center(WRAC). I have not talked of this friendship in the email (I like to keep my struggles private) but things were tense for a bit!
a basic recap: Angelica and I started going to WRAC for our health, delts, and quads. There's a nice man there who helped us with our membership and showed us around the gym. A couple weeks in, we achieved both a friendship and fitness milestone: he gave us a head nod when we entered the gym. This meant we showed up enough to be considered "regulars", which is honestly the greatest feeling. All I want in life is for people to generally recognize me. I want conversations with cashiers at the grocery store that continue easily from our last shopping visit, I want to have my known drink at a cafe--not in some performative, false nostaligc way, where the barista says "the usual, boss?" with a pencil behind their ear--but if the barista is already writing down my order before I've started to ask for it,because they know what it'd be and would be genuinely surprised if I ever asked for something different...well, buddy, there's no better feeling!
I guess I want what everyone wants: for people to know I exist today like I existed yesterday, that I have a place and routine in this world that intersects with theirs in an agreeable way. I had that with the gym manager. We nodded to each other. Sometimes, we'd say good morning. If it was an exceptionally nice, or exceptionally windy, day we would say "nice one today!" either sincerely or ironically depending!
Then one night I walked into the Fringe bar for a comedy show and saw him in a front booth with a date. There was a pleasant awkardness where we both gave a head nod but looked confused, as we recognized each other but were unsure from where. Then the connection hit and he says, "Ah, good to see you outside the gym!" and we started a nice that. I met his date and we talked of the gym, he had the gentle pride that comes from random recognition-- of being able to show her that he did in fact exist to others, that he was a known person in these parts, a man about town. He said I was making good progress, and that I should try the classes, then asked if I was here to see the show. I felt my own swell of pride as I said, "Nah, I'm on it!" By extremely modest standards, I think we both came off as cool.
I went to the greenroom, they went to their seats. I did my set, it went well, and came out after to say goodbye to them, but they'd already left.
A couple days later, Angelica and I hit the gym, we see our man, he gives an uneasy nod, and then nervously turns away. It was genuinely awkward, and I realized that he probably did not like my comedy. There was now a stress in our interaction, that perhaps i would bring up the show, and he'd have to lie about liking or or politely say he did not get it.
I don't expect everyone to like my comedy. In my calm, rational moments I remember that I am a comedic genius decades ahead of my time, and that means the laughter I deserve may not come in my lifetime. It's not that the jokes are bad, it's that they're too good. I get that. I don't expect everyone to like my comedy, but man do I want them to.
But now, not only does he not like my comedy, but my comedy made things weird between us. It was sincerely crushing. I don't want fame (I don't think). I don't want validation(but maaaan do I need it). At the end of the day, I just want smalltalk and for my circle of town to have more friends than strangers. I may not be funny to you, but I can still comment on the weather! I can still hope it doesn't rain! I can still be asked if I'm excited for the weekend!
Anyway, time for the good news.
Last Monday, I went to the gym and saw him and not only did we exchange hellos but he asked how comedy was going. I said "pretty good", and he reveals that he does Toastmasters. He tells me that he started it to get over some public speaking anxiety and he's impressed by people speaking in front of a crowd. He told me of competitive toastmasters, and how they have both nationals and internationals, with people giving speeches to thousands of people.
We got our small talk back! Not only that, but I found all his comments encouraging! Then I realized they were intentionally encouraging. He's a personal trainer, his job is to help people improve. My comedy made sense not as something he enjoyed, just something I was trying to be good at, and he enjoyed helping people try. In that, he found our balance: general small talk as he subtly pushed me to be better.
I must say, reader, that this was quite humbling. I don't want my jokes to remind people of struggling to do a pushup, or run/walk their first 5k. Ideally, I want to remind them of a young George Carlin or a taller, laid-back Lucille Ball. Still, I am happy to have our rapport back. Yesterday he asked if I was gonna perform at Cuba Dupa, the big Wellington street fair. I said I was not, he said the exposure could be good. I agreed and continued to the elliptical machine.
Anyway, this is all just to say: AIRHORN is coming to you in two weeks!. It's April 5th, 8pm, Newtown Community Centre. Our classic lineup plus some incredible guests, including the delightful and ethereal comic/juggler/zinster Trent H. Baumann! I...I may have not given the best impression of the show with this whole story. I swear to you that the comedy will be so good. It won't make things weird between us! You will want to make direct eye contact after! It will inspire so many good chats!
Review Corner
I got some quickfire reviews for yous to round out this casual wisp of an email. let's go!
Waxatchee's new record Tiger Blood is so good. I want her to do a full duets album with MJ Lenderman. Their harmonies give my spine a wonderful thrill, make me feel like how a carpet must feel when the vacuum runs across it.
Also, a slightly older album (3 years old), but aldn's ep greenhouse is delightful. Warm Sunday morning hyperpop.
For Friedemann Friese fans, his new boardgame Findorff is fantastic. It's a smooth, interactive, and fast engine building/economic game that also serves as a civic history of a specific neighborhood of Friedemann's hometown. There is something almost zine-like about his games, these self-published and highly personal expressions of art and fandom. On top of that, this game teaches you about the volatile peat market of 1880's Germany!
Lastly, the Omypop Malaysian popcorn in a can that they sell at Pak n' save is absuuuuurdly good. a tasty, textural treat! The sour cream and onion flavour is vegan, and tastes nothing of cream and onions, but some pure wall of savoury sweet sensation.
That's all! Thank you for reading my email and I hope your day goes well!