Dear Reader,

A week ago today I had top surgery. It has been a harrowing week filled with medical trauma, doubt, pain, and sadness. There have also been moments of extreme care, closeness, and euphoria.

I decided today I wanted to write about something close to my heart, Empire Records. If you want to hear about my journey with top surgery, tune in later this week in my essay for paid subscribers.

Once we left the surgery center, Katy stopped at the grocery store to get some staples while I waited in the car. I barely remember this time other than thinking about what I wanted to do as soon as we got into bed — watch Empire Records.

I have seen this movie more times than I can count. I have it on VHS and DVD, the soundtrack on CD and Vinyl, it’s important for me to access it in all modes at all times. If someone asks what my favorite movie is I do not pause, it is Empire Records.

As a baby my parents lived in a small apartment and my crib shared a room with my dad’s record collection. My whole life my dad has had a few jobs and they have always involved records - working in radio, working at a record shop, having his own radio show, and running an eBay record store business. On top of this he is, at his core, a collector, the best gift giver, and a sort of musical history genius.

This is all to say, my love for Empire Records is blood deep. And in times of deep sadness, grief, or pain it is what I reach for to bring me comfort.

I can recite almost every line of the movie, but my favorite moment, which was my senior quote in the yearbook, is when AJ asks Lucas what’s with him today. Lucas responds - What’s with today, today?

It’s a nonsensical moment, but I’ll never forget the first time I heard that line. It was like everything made sense to me. What is with this day, in this present moment? What’s with THIS day? What’s with today, today?

It felt so fitting to hear it, on a day of getting sliced open. Not totally sure of my surroundings and not quite getting my bearings yet. Not knowing the difficulty that lay ahead for me, it grounded me in a knowing of myself and the little jokes I love. Like when Warren yells “My name isn’t FUCKING Warren”

I also love a movie where the entire plot happens over one day. A day in the life. What’s with today, today? What’s with Rex Manning Day?

In an effort of deep permission giving — I moved Flexible Office to start a week later due to the difficulty of my healing. I’m really so excited to host another round, co-working is my favorite place to be. We start a week from today.

Want to try it out first because you aren’t so sure you’ll like it?

Come for FREE on Sunday February 15 9-11am EST. We’ll have a lot of fun and while I will invite you to join the next season of co-working there is no pressure or requirement to. Just come and get some shit done on a Sunday.

I am also preparing for my next class, Divinity and The Written Word February 21 + 22 12-2pm EST. This is a writing class, a class about god, a class about writing about god, and a class to generate contemplative writing in our journals. Morning pages, gratitude lists, and all the cosmic entry points will be covered. Want to hear more in the coming weeks? Pop your email in here.

Much is a foot. Thank you to all the well wishes about my surgery. Let me know what your favorite comfort movie is and maybe I’ll watch it this week. Preparing to hit the ground running next week and then moving into big book promo time.

Letting my body guide the way as much as I can. More on this later in the week. For now, I am wishing you well in the madness.

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