Thirty five things I know at thirty five
Today is my birthday
I woke up so grateful to be alive, in the endless gift of life. I am so happy to turn 35 years old today, it feels like a huge accomplishment to still be sober, breathing, and creating art and writing for myself and the world.
To celebrate I will spend time with the people I love, thrift at my favorite used bookstore, and write to you this list.
The greatest gift I could ask for is if you joined me for The Artist Way Book study starting June 18 by becoming a paid subscriber of this newsletter - every Friday for three months I’ll send you a pep talk email about the chapter and we’ll write out how our week went in the comments of Substack. We meet on zoom during week six (July 30 9AM pst) and week twelve. For now - just get the book! And all the details will be sent on the 16th
You can share this list with a friend, on social media, or write your own
THIRTY FIVE THINGS I KNOW AT THIRTY FIVE
I do not engage in toxic relationships and if I do the people around me know how to gently suggest that something isn’t working for me
I am an artist
I am a writer
My queerness is not contingent on who I am or am not having sex with
My gender gets to change every single day, being non binary is the greatest blessing
When I buy a book there is no guarantee I will read it
The relationship I have with my dog is my most important relationship with a living thing
The journey of finding the right meds has been exhausting and life saving
I am a thoughtful and gentle teacher and facilitator
No matter how much I heal my codependency around Instagram it still prevails and feels like a horrible drug I can’t quit
A daily gratitude list changed my life
The most important thing in my life today is my sobriety
I am less interested in sex than I used to be and that is a relief
Not every relationship with an ex friend or lover needs to look the same
I cut a chord quickly when given the silent treatment
Tv shows about cops, doctors, and firefighters soothe my nervous system
I am excellent at endings
Trash night annoys me but I always feel good about myself when I take the trash out
Having a mortgage is scary and stretches me
Frozen blueberries are great on granola
Swimming in Lake Michigan is my favorite thing to do
If someone is wearing real tree they look hot
This includes my neighbor Don
My ancestors are proud of me
I am an adult
My skin looks better when I don’t eat ice cream right before bed
I always forget to pack enough socks
Having parents who affirm, see, and stay curious about my gender is something I do not take for granted
Earning true secure attachment in a romantic relationship felt impossible, and I am experiencing it in real time today
I am happy when I have a cup of coffee
12 step programs have archaic language but save my life
You can want to pick up drink and not do it
Flowers tell us so much about being alive
There is no one else like me
There is no one else like you
A portion of June’s paid subscriptions go towards the Grand Rapids Pride Center
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