The rush of something new
Inhabiting a quiet pace
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Be careful what you wish for, be careful what you ask for on the drive to the thing, be careful what you say out loud to the fire. What comes true is no accident. Perhaps as you ask, someone else asks alongside of you.
Love gets taken away, by curse or by accident. It is wished for at the same time. It is painful and all consuming. It is inescapable even as we try to push it away with solitude and isolation and spells. And yet, it prevails, washes over us, sweeps in through the flower you are certain you can’t take care of but are willing to look it straight in the petals and test your luck.
Whenever I feel the rush of a new feeling I try to run from it as quickly as I can. Lust, grief, excitement, fear, hope - I live with a certainty that it will flood me and take me out and my rituals and I will disappear and I will be consumed with the option to leave my life behind, a trick of codependency. One glimpse of wonder and my capacity to stay put wavers.
Hark the herald angel sings! In my home I sit, surrounded by a new bounty of trust. Something about no one being mad at me for the dishes in the sink, the pile of socks, the colors of the chairs exactly as I like them . A trust within myself and this place. Within the dirt and the rocks and the wood stove. I seek to stay centered in the pace of quiet, my life is so big and so sweet that even on the days of clunky thick chaos, I can not be knocked off the beam by a new rush.
Carried close to the clouds may the flood come forth. Some rushes of feeling are brief, may they last the exact time God visions them for me. May I let them wash over me, crashing waves and big swells, what a gift to feel and not be so afraid.
I have a tattoo on my leg that says Fleetwood Mac is My Favorite Band
It is copied from a napkin Bobby wrote the sentence on after I said it out loud and bought us tickets to their concert, tattooed by Leah
Christine McVie’s death this week felt so big and so sad for me
My favorite songwriter, the secret magic behind FM, feeling big gratitude for the ways her words frame so much of the way I think about loveLiv forever
Looking forward to watching Matt Roger’s Have You Heard Of Christmas
December 17th 6-9pm at Cedar North : Cyrah Dardas’ show Birth of Mithra opens in the Classroom Gallery. Cyrah will also lead us in a celebration of Yalda, the Persian festival of rebirth of the light in our lives with food, drinks, and fire. All are welcome!
SO EXCITED to share I am a visiting artist in Shira Erlichman’s AMAZING CLASS In Surreal Life this January 2023 - I CANNOT recommend this class enough and feel so grateful to be a part of it
To break out of the ordinary by creating, risking, sharing + growing together
Beautiful bags from Baggu X Creative Growth
Colorful poems from Jacqueline Suskin and Mo Neuharth (Art Problems)
This Song
Paint Chips
Claes Oldenburg and Coosje van Bruggen
A portion of December’s paid subscriptions goes towards Trans Santa : Sending gifts to trans youth in need, safely & anonymously : check out the spreadsheet
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