When love goes unseen
Unveiling the silent testimony that fueled my successful quilt exhibition
Dear Reader,
There are kinds of love that don’t announce themselves. That weave through the shadows with grace and precision, leaving me feeling cherished beyond measure.
At my opening last week, so many people saw the quilts, the writing, the color, the work. But what you wouldn’t have seen, unless you were looking closely, was Katy staying up late to do the dishes and perfectly measuring where the wall vinyl would go. Tamara quietly trimming all the stray threads from the quilts and lint rolling them for the last of June’s stray hairs. Lukaza making sure I was fed and hydrated before I even knew I was hungry.
Kate telling me I wasn’t allowed to grab the food and curating a perfect snack board for the opening, cooking dinner with Sam for everyone to come home to. Katy’s mom telling me she was going to Costco to get seltzers and brownies without me having to ask. My dad’s quilt shirt deserved its own moment — coordinated, researched, mailed socks and all. He googled “button up quilt shirt” and his sister mailed him quilt socks. My brother and mom, managing the vibes like the cool cucumbers they are. And Katy’s dad and step mom, showing up before everyone else to buy the first quilt.
And if I may again bring it back to my beautiful radiant girlfriend Katy — Katy who moved through every moment of the last few weeks with quiet clarity and endless tenderness. Who kept the house feeling calm and intact, even as I unravelled and re-stitched myself again and again. Who put records on and folded blankets and made sure I had clean socks and a warm bed to collapse into. Who changed my oil in our driveway (hot) when I was many miles over the limit. Who gently insisted I not sleep in sandy sheets, even when I whined and said they were fine. Who made food and coffee for me when she had other things to do, who took June for walks so I could work without guilt, who made beauty out of the mundane while I focused on making beauty for the show.
I used to think this was a kind of love I had to earn, or prove myself for. And now it’s just here — growing with us, steadying us, making everything else possible.
I don’t take it for granted. I want to name it, honor it, say thank you out loud. Not just to Katy, but to all the quiet loves that live behind the scenes — the ones keeping the house together, the ones remembering the grocery list, the ones who see us when we forget how to see ourselves. I want my work, always, to be made from that place.
Not everything needs to be visible to be holy. This, too, was love.
Things Of Note :
For the next few weeks I am hosting an ABOLISH ICE Group Quilt Raffle made during Community Sewing Hours. Read all about it and contribute here - everyone who enters gets a postcard of the finished quilt mailed to them
River Nice is hosting their twelve week virtual program Take Control of Your Money that starts in August - there is Reparative pricing for Black and Indigineous participants and payment plans for all - I have already learned so much from their work I really recommend
We gained many ancestors this week, some right on time and some far too soon. Read this beautiful note from Andrea Gibson’s wife Meg Falley. Andrea leaving in such an untimely way has me holding my queer love even tighter today.
Popping open Active Hope today by the great great mentor Joanna Macy who we also lost this week at the very full age of 96. What a wild one. I learned so much from her and am so grateful for her words and teaching in both how she lived and how she died.
There are now open hours, a new workshop, and a closing reception for The Quilt As Archive - I would love to see you there! August 13 Beach Blanket Workshop
for Black and Indigenous participant
CLASSIFIEDS : A nomadic international artist residency for exploring the inner landscape in creative connection to landscapes across the world. Join the WAITLIST Close Circle: Paintings, prints, paper goods, and more made by and for artists and eccentrics. Accessible art collecting. Community over commerce. The Art of Thriving Creatively: Take your first steps to an aligned, alive, and abundant career in this free workshop: Join here. Herbal Consultations open with clinical herbalist Caroline Caswell - book a 15 min free consultation to see if its a good fit by emailing carolinecandacecaswell@gmail.com
Want to include a classified ad for August? Click here to read more
Are.na
Email : info@codycookparrott.com
Website : https://www.codycookparrott.com
Writing Group : Landscapes
Want to read June’s installment of the Yes Yes Advice Column for paid subscribers : Check out Choosing Our Inner World
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"I used to think this was a kind of love I had to earn, or prove myself for." Oh, how this hit. The hubs is my Katy. For almost a decade and a half, he has been predicting my needs and loving me in both quiet and loud ways. For almost a decade and a half, I have been doing the same. Both of us get an asterisk beside that saying *as much as we would allow. We are both survivors of camp "must earn and prove and be worth of love". That means, of course, that we slip and tell the other that we can handle it, because we feel unworthy. But mostly, we allow the love. It's beautiful. I'm thrilled you have this. I'm thrilled people showed up for you in the Little ways and the Big ways that matter so much in life and in planning an event. <3