I am thirty five and alone

For the first time in my life I am watching the hit television program Sex And The City. As I sit and watch Carrie Bradshaw, a writer, have her 35th birthday single and alone surrounded by her friends, I am held by the timelines of the similarities that we share. Charlotte says Don’t laugh at me but maybe we could be each other’s soulmates. I sigh, yes. This.

Last weekend I had the honor of attending my former spouse’s wedding, an experience that is beyond words or this lifetime. To sit and to ask god - what might I say about this way of being alive? How might I share how seamlessly I can let love in while also wondering what it is I am missing?