Dear reader,

Last night I’m spitballing with some friends about my lack of dating options in the rural North. Where is my wife? Doesn’t she know there are five acres here for her to tend to her flower farm? What song will they dedicate to me on Delilah? How do you say - Look at the life I have that we could weave together, without the destination of a pair bond as the goal?

I’m texting my ex girlfriend who suggests I come to visit upstate NY to find this person. Others suggest I try the apps, which I cannot do. The apps in Northern Michigan are scary but another friend tells the rare tale of meeting their now love on Tinder in these parts. Every gender holds a fish. I am not opposed to learning how to fish and I love to be on a boat in the water but the posing with the fish doesn’t quite send me in the way I imagined.