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Right before I put anything into the world I get quiet and remember I am ordinary. That my work as a teacher and writer and artist is to be spread amongst many, in service to higher power, in service to those who it may benefit. I ask for ego to be removed and I ask to be released of : wanting to be understood, wanting to be the best, wanting the thing to sell out immediately, wanting to get it right the first time and make no mistakes, wanting no one to question my pricing, theme, or subject matter. I ask to be released of expectations or outcomes. I ask for the release of a new idea, class, or object to be as simple as making copies at the copy machine, filling the coffee pot, delivering files to the desk. Worker amongst workers.
It has been my curiosity that social media is what shifts this in our minds, shifts our view of ourselves. The mirror becomes so wide, so fast, so opinionated. No wonder when we share our creations our nervous systems are ramped up, ready for no one to care or to give unsolicited advice or to immediately stare at the picture we choose and question 150 times if this was the right picture. Especially if the ever changing algorithm isn’t favoring you (remember, it does this so you want to keep coming back, to try again)
I’ll let you journal about that quietly after you finish reading this newsletter. For now I want to keep leaning into the ways I stay ordinary
I remember I am at a job. I have a simple job and I do that job. The job is spacious and creative but it is a job. The more I work on my personal integrity the more in alignment I am with the integrity of my business and money. When I act like having a “public” job is different that any non public facing job … I separate myself from who I want to be with. Once someone asked why I write books and I said : because God told me to. Part two would be - Why do you let the books you write become public? Because that is my job.
I take out the fluff of my own job description. When someone is introducing me at a book reading or on a podcast those people tend to say extremely nice things about me and my job. It’s very nice to hear them. However, when I sit down to DO my work : write the newsletter, teach the class, write the book - I release the flowery sentiments. My job is to synthesize my life experience into writing and share it with the people. My job is to research and discover new information about quilts, bring it to the people, and show them how to make blankets. And so on and so forth. That’s the job.
Remember what the job isn’t. My job is not making social media posts. My job is not being a journalist. My job is not being sober. My job is not being queer. My job is not being a healer, witch, visionary, therapist, or marketing guru. Good news is, these are other people’s jobs. And I love those people. Sometimes those things are activities within my job but they are not part of the job description.
I create values and principles for my job : In order to not get wrapped up in WHAT DOES THIS JOB LOOK LIKE TO OTHERS aka wanting to be anything more than ordinary, I have been working on a really clear set of core principles and values to me and my business. This then flows into how I price offerings, how much of my income I redistribute, what I want to talk about in my newsletters, and how I want to spend my personal time. My politics and principles seamlessly weave into my work. There is nothing to prove.
Getting things wrong doesn’t mean you get fired. I often get things wrong in my job. That’s the thing though : it is my job. As soon as someone questions a choice I’ve made or gives feedback on my work that might sting for a second I remember : even if the person IS commenting on me personally (that’s their bad boundaries not mine) I can remember it isn’t about me. It’s about how I do my job. It’s my own mini quarterly review from the citizens. And I can put it in my work file of feedback. You also have full permission to not take the citizens review : especially if it’s clear they simply don’t like you.
Whether you work for yourself and have for 30 years or 3 minutes, work for a huge company or are a barista at your neighborhood coffee shop, are the CEO and a millionaire : keep finding ways to separate yourself from your job. Your job can give you self confidence, delight, access to your abundant creativity (it does all of these things for me) and it can also cause a lot of confusion with who you are, who you think you are supposed to be, and how you hope others see you. In the words of Bonny Doon : You are who you’re supposed to be. In the words of me : stop thinking about yourself and who you are in the eyes of others, go outside, and be ordinary.
My dear friend John Hanson who I once married is working on one of the most beautiful books I have ever seen called Grandmothers of America - pre order your copy here
Ever since looking at Nic Antoinette’s gear list I have become obsessed with wanting to hike the Tahoe Rim Trail and literally spent hours researching which ultralight backpack I should get (ahem - tell me)
Rhonda the bear is our neighborhood bear. She is small and moves very slow and I like her but I did get a bear bell just in case she sneaks up on me.
I’m wearing my mask inside! I’m also vaccinated! I didn’t want to get a vaccine because I don’t like strangers poking me with sharp objects, I don’t like military people looking at me and hovering over me, I don’t trust anything about big pharma or the medical system, and I really don’t like stuff going into my body when I don’t know what it is. I also don’t know what is in oreos and I do put those in my body. Also whenever I get poked with a needle I assume I will faint and die so I get very anxious (not an exaggeration) Also I had a concussion when I got my second shot so I was certain I was going to die. I share this to say. I got mine anyways and I did not faint or die! These are cool things you can do to not get your high risk neighbors or chosen family sick. It can also give you access to abundance of gatherings. COMMUNITY CARE! MAY WE PROTECT EACH OTHER! Don’t want to do these things? That’s great but if you respond telling me I will simply never respond! I’m too busy being of service! XOXOXOXO
In my continued quest for solvency I am reading Secrets of Six Figure Women
A Quilt is Something Human registration opens TODAY at 12 noon PST - Sign up here to get the link and have your card ready - plus NEW AND EASY two and three part payment plans WOW - big scholarships - let’s go! - excited to make blankets in October
I did get the Merrell hydro alien shoes and I like them
If you like some of my lists / ways of staying ordinary you will like Cultivating Creative Attention
The first installment of YES YES was a huge success : 20+ minutes of advice you can listen to OR READ. Become a paid subscriber to hear the answers to these amazing questions and ask your own for next month!
How can I find joy where I am? I have fallen out of love with my home, how do I rekindle the flame?
I have just written a memoir, my first one, and I want it to get published. What are your thoughts about a publishing house vs self publishing?
How do you navigate situations with people who are disrespectful of you and your boundaries, but you need to continue a relationship with because of work or other commitments?
Do you think there is any way that open relationships can rebalance power dynamics in favor of women+?
You’ve talked about how it’s hard for you to cook. How’s that going? Any favorite meals or inspiration to share with your pal who also finds it annoyingly difficult to do? I hate myself for it because it comes easily to so many, but GF chicken nugs have been my jam.
Do you have any advice for someone wanting to start their own membership?
Many Blessings
A portion of this month paid subscriptions goes to the Navajo Quilt Project. You can also support them yourself and receive a beautiful tote.