Dear Reader,

A year ago, I finished the first draft of the full manuscript of my forthcoming book, The Practice of Attention.

I held a party to celebrate and all my friends came, including a girl who I hadn’t seen in sixteen years who I had briefly dated when we were twenty. She walked in the door and I was puddled. I knew in that moment Katy was my person and within a few months she moved in.

I took one look and fell, hook and tumble. M took one look at me, and put on her dark glasses, along with an obvious dose of reserve. She denied this to her dying day, but it was true.

Isn’t it wonderful the way the world holds both the deeply serious, and the unexpectedly mirthful?

Mary Oliver 

The people will tell you not to move quickly, do not bring a U-Haul to the second date. I say do, do bring the U-Haul, accompany it with a bouquet of flowers, ask her to stay awhile! I’ve never made a better choice than asking Katy to move in and be my steady comrade in love and living.

On the dawn of our second year, we found each other in the wee hours of the morning, Katy always staying up much later than me, and me going to bed very early, but sometimes waking up to go to the bathroom or get some water. As Katy came to bed, she seemed distressed, and we began to talk about the beginnings of a war in Iran. The bombing of young girls and the heartache of seeing death. Anti Trans laws being passed in Kansas. The pain of witnessing this world being too much.

I wasn’t privy to some of the news Katy shared with me, which brought up an interesting tension between us. I am very selective about when and how I get my news, and I often find out about things after the fact of someone who is hooked into social media or news apps. I currently use a phone with no way to access news and Katy is often watching news live streamed on her phone via social media and news alerts.

Our conversation was gentle, not because these times aren’t urgent, but because our love has found a way to be calm and collected even when our needs are different.

I gently pushed Katy on how often she is on her phone, and found that she feels like when she bears witness it is important. That being hyper informed makes her feel safe in a way. I reminded her that she is indeed safe right now in this moment, but for trans women, the second they walk out into the world, they are at risk and not always safe.

For Katy, she pushed me to be more on top of the news, a bit more informed, and a bit more on fire. I took this request seriously and talked to my friend Nic who gave me some tips on newsletters, websites, and podcasts to pay attention to. I really look to Nic as someone who is deeply informed but doesn’t let it derail their day. They seamlessly weave current events into their newsletter, local actions, and their values.

In many ways this is what The Practice of Attention is all about. Leaving social media but not leaving behind action, information, or tenacity. I want to be an informed researcher, writer, person of the Earth. It’s easy to slip into the comfort of whiteness, class, and privilege without widening my viewpoint. I have become guilty of this many times and am grateful for those who pull me back into reality.

A year of loving Katy (again) has been a wild ride. Through mental health struggles, a severe iron deficiency, top surgery, and the maladies of the world — it is safe to say I have never felt a love like this. So secure, tender, and fierce. I never have to wonder if I am safe, loved, or cherished. Not just because we tell each other every day, but because we show each other in action, requests, and awe.

Whether it’s the war in Iran, anti-trans legislature, the Epstein files, ICE occupation, or your own internal grief — I hope you find a way to tether in long enough to know, but short enough to return. To return to your love, your kids, your pets, your neighbors, your community.

Taking in the news is a dance, and one that people have big opinions about. I find my ritual of listening to Democracy Now! is a helpful tap-in point. (Happy 30 years Amy Goodman, you amaze me)

Alas, I write to you today not with answers but with curiosity. How to stand with the Iranian people, but against the US involvement in war. With a heart full of gay love amidst the horrors of the world. T4T magic in our home, pain in our community.

I am wishing you peace today dear reader, peace from an informed and active heart, may you be well.

My online shop is fully stocked with quilts, books, quilt catalogues, and more. I’d love to mail you something this week.

CODY’S ONLINE SHOP

→ NoMi Mutual Aid Team training tonight Mon 3/2 at the Traverse Area District Library at 6pm - see you there

→ Northern Michigan friends - Do you have a fun building project? Construction? Drywall? Katy Campbell is your girl, respond to this email and I’ll be sure to get her the message

→ This weekend, on Saturday, March 7, I am teaching a short but vibrant class all about self-publishing! Ritual Technologies : How Writers Make Contact - Tools, forms, and practices for creative invocation. Really looking forward to it, a gorgeous group is already shaping up!

→ The Practice of Attention comes out TWO WEEKS FROM TOMORROW! I am so excited, your pre-orders mean the world to me and help the success of this book. Consider pre-ordering and getting your free bonuses

→ Support trans people in Kansas by donating to The LGBTQ Foundation of Kansas

→ In these times (all times) I find it incredibly helpful to remember 5 Things White People Should Stop Saying Right Now

→ I enjoyed reading Community is not a Commodity

→ Erin Shetron interviewed me in Frequent Criers Club and I got very honest

→ Listening to Bad Bunny is good for my health

→ You can now buy my Creative Advising sessions as a three-pack. Build momentum and save money.

→ My friend Amelia Hruby’s incredibly cool biz membership THE INTERWEB opens this week but only if you’re on the waitlist

Ready to start a drawing habit? Learn traditional skills, how to keep a sketchbook, and embrace the wobble of art in compassion-centered zoom room. 

It’s Bridgerton but make it gay! 🏳️‍🌈 Dive into this queer P&P retelling where Darcy is a woman gentleman. Regency romance has never been better. ✨

"The Work of Art" is a newsletter for artists navigating capitalism. 🎨 For creatives who want to make art, not content. 💡

ESTRANGED: A workshop for people distant or estranged from a parent, led by a trauma practitioner. 3/6 1pm PT, $75, zoom. You are not alone or broken.

Join me for Awaken, beginning March 8th. A 21-day Photovoice micro-practice to find and hold ourselves in loving attention as we emerge into Spring.

Want to book a classified ad for next week? (One left) Read all about it here

Subscribe now

→ info@codycookparrott.com
→ www.codycookparrott.com
→ Follow Along on Are.na

Consider becoming a paid subscriber of this newsletter if you love it and want access to Cody’s World, Behind the Scenes of Business, and deeper personal essays

When I use affiliate links they are usually for books or products I bought myself. In this newsletter they appeared for books and The Wisephone (the phone I use with no web browser, social media, or email but with everything else I need)