The poker roguelike. Balatro is a hypnotically satisfying deckbuilder where you play illegal poker hands, discover game-changing jokers, and trigger adrenaline-pumping, outrageous combos. — Summary of Balatro from its Steam page

The above description of Balatro isn’t wrong, but it is misleading. Localthunk and Playstack think they’re getting one over on us, but they aren’t fooling me. They want us to think the game is no more than a “poker roguelike,” when it’s actually so much more. From the element of luck to the significance of money to the fact that no two unseeded runs are alike, it’s clear to me that Balatro is really a life sim disguised as a roguelike poker game.

Let’s start with luck. In Balatro, luck is simulated via RNG, or random number generation. RNG determines the Jokers you’ll see, the cards that’ll be in booster packs, and the Boss Blinds you’ll face. If you land an unstoppable Photochad + Idol + Sock and Buskin run, you have RNG to thank. If your unstoppable Photochad + Idol + Sock run ends prematurely due to a lack of Boss Blind rerolls and a Boss Blind that ruins your strategy, you have RNG to thank.

It’s very similar to the luck we experience in our everyday lives. Commute to work goes smoothly? Thank you, luck! Train is derailed because of a drunk engineer? Fuck you, luck! Your outdoor wedding goes smoothly? Thank you, luck! Your outdoor wedding is ruined thanks to inaccurate weather forecasts? Fuck you, luck! Born into a wealthy family? Thank you, luck! Born into a family with crippling debt? Fuck you, luck! The only way in Balatro and in life to potentially overcome luck is by having and spending lots of money.

In life, there are the haves and have-nots. The rich and poor. The ruling class and everyone else. If you’re rich, you’re as close to a god as this world will ever have, and if you’ve ever been broke, you know how hard it can be to survive. The wealthy woman who gets into a car accident can turn around and have her car fixed or replaced with little issue. The poor woman who gets into a car accident is stuck with a damaged or unusable car.

Balatro perfectly simulates this aspect of reality. You might get stuck with some shitty Jokers for a little while but manage to save up enough money, and you can keep rerolling until you find something better. If you have those same shitty Jokers and you’re broke, then you’ll be stuck with them until you sell them or lose. In life and Balatro, the wealthy have fewer and less serious concerns than the poor.

The uniqueness of every unseeded run is another way Balatro simulates real life. We are all different, distinct, unique individuals. The circumstances of each of our births are unique. We all experience life differently. Life expectancy varies from person to person. The major difference between being born and starting a new run in this comparison is that every run starts in the same place (depending on one’s chosen deck).

You will always start with zero Jokers. You will always start with relatively little money. You will never defeat Ante 39. In basically every other way, living and playing Balatro are the same. Some of us die young, just as runs in Balatro can end in Ante 1. Others live long lives, akin to making it to Ante 39. Some of us will go through life poor, struggling to survive, just as one struggles in the game when there’s little money to be found. Some of us experience the “finer” things in life, just as some runs include the strongest jokers. Others will grow up in the middle of nowhere, never leave their hometown, and survive primarily on junk food, just as some runs never have any of the strong Jokers. Jokers are the element that simulate one of the most positive aspects of real life, though.

I wouldn’t blame you for believing that I think some Jokers are useless while others are amazing, but that is the exact opposite of what I think. I hope you’ll forgive my oversimplifications from before: referring to some Jokers as “shitty” and others as “strong.” In truth, there is no such thing as a bad Joker. How “good” or “strong” a Joker is depends on context. Everyone loves Blueprint, but if that’s your only Joker, you probably won’t get very far. If you’re using the Abandoned Deck, Sock and Buskin and Photograph will be useless to you. The Idol is only as good as your deck is fixed!

You may think Jimbo (actual name “Joker”) is terrible. After all, it only gives you a +4 multiplier for your score. But if you defeat the Small Blind and Big Blind in Ante 1 without any Jokers, either because you can’t afford any or you can’t find any you particularly want, you’ll be thankful for its appearance in the shop because it only costs $1 and will go a long way to helping you beat the first Boss Blind. Ceremonial Dagger may be another Joker you’d rather avoid, and in many cases, I would avoid it, too. However, if I have Riff-Raff, Ceremonial Dagger is the Joker I want more than almost any other. People are exactly the same.

I have an English degree and four years of experience teaching English as a foreign language. If you put me in a classroom with a bunch of kids who don’t know English, I’ll do alright, but if you hire me to be the head scientist at NASA, we’ll never go to the Moon again. A person who is wheelchair bound would make a terrible runner, but they might make a great doctor. LeBron James would probably be a bad Russian interpreter, but he’s second to none on the basketball court. We all have potential, and we all are capable of greatness, but if we can’t find a suitable context for ourselves, our greatness may go unrealized.

When I first started writing, I had no clue where this would go. The idea of “Balatro as life sim” popped into my head as I fell asleep two nights ago, and I liked the sound of it, so I set a reminder on my phone. I thought this post would be more lighthearted and silly, but at least it ended on a relatively positive note. Just like a round of Balatro or life itself, I couldn’t know what was next without challenging the Blind, making and following through on a decision, or—as in this case—writing the next word.

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