The worst AI Gavin Newsom fanart
My state’s current governor, Gavin Newsom, has recently been getting the OMG HERE IS OUR NEW SAVIOR treatment from the most annoying corners of what I like to call “vote blue no matter who” social media posters. The #resistance liberals love Newsom’s recent trolling of Trump. I do not have an opinion on Newsom’s press office’s trolling, mostly because I think there are people, such as current Illinois governor J.B. Pritzker, who are out there actually doing stuff. But these people doing actual stuff are doing so in a way that is not as likely to get endless reply threads of heart eyes emojis or all caps [NAME] FOR PRESIDENT status updates on social media.
Here’s the thing: I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. My partner and I currently live here. Newsom has been shoved in my face for two decades as the next great Dem hope. I will concede that allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry at SF’s city hall in 2004 was the least annoying thing that he has ever done, although there are critiques of that (which you can find elsewhere, as this is a humor piece). Since becoming San Francisco’s mayor in 2003 and moving up the political ladder through the decades, he has utilized both his camera-friendly looks and his propensity to go after people with much, much less power than he has — dude has been dehumanizing unhoused people for a long time — to keep the media and the public’s eyes on him. San Francisco-based activist group Gay Shame were protesting Newsom’s policies when it came to the unhoused in 2003. 22 years later, Newsom is still doing shit like this.
Newsom has also been very, very gross about transgender people recently, especially as a guest on right-wing podcasts (and with right-wingers he’s invited onto his podcast)! Trans journalist Erin Reed has a great piece outlining why Newsom’s public agreement with right-wing transphobes is so dangerous. Are you surprised that Newsom is a weirdo about trans people? I am not, which is unfortunate because I would really like to have a viable leftist Presidential candidate who says, “Actually, trans people are worth protecting, as is their access to medical care,” and sticks to that -- not just some centrist goober who some people want to throw their presidential support behind in 2025 because of funny social media status updates. There might be other reasons that social media is exploding with support for Newsom and his press office, but those are beyond the scope of this piece.
Also, this 2004 Harper’s Bazaar photo of him and ex-wife Kim Guilfoyle posing like two evil B-movie snake people on a (probably very expensive) carpet lives rent-free in my head. It’s so ridiculous. Imagine if Roger Corman directed a movie about two married politicians who were secretly evil serpent people. I would watch it.
Another thing that is ridiculous: the many AI fanart pieces of Newsom popping up around social media. I have collected my least favorites, and will now proceed to rip them apart because they deserve it.
OH MY GOD, OF COURSE THE SHOVEL IS BENT IN THE MIDDLE. Absolute gold. I’m only on the first of these and I feel like I am going to lose it.
Aw, shit, is it time for a Game of Thrones reboot already? I hope not.
Oh good, another one where his muscles look like they are going to pop out of his skin. I get that this might be a Putin meme reference with the bear and whatnot, but just…why? Why does this exist?
As soon as I saw this image, the Village People’s “Macho Man” started playing in my head. This is because a large part of my brain is a landfill for pop culture runoff that no one else cares about or thinks about ever.
MORE SHIRTLESSNESS! That dinosaur’s facial expression is less [roar noise] and more “what the hell am I doing here?” Indeed, AI dinosaur, indeed.
SANK INOFTHE KING on the bottom left. Really thought-provoking stuff! I also like how the I and M in TIME appear to be growing out of his head, tentacle-like.
He looks so smug here. I hate it. Can we just leave royalty imagery for any politician in the last century, where it belongs?
Oh my god, is that shirtless Timothy Olyphant riding a white horse? No, it’s…AI Newsom again. Fuck.
A HUGE AMERICAN FLAG AND MUSCLES! This will get people hyped up for sure! Hmm. No. There are “Pokemon Go to the polls” levels of out-of-touch happening here.
And here, we come full circle with the “savior” narrative! I love Jesus’ tiny hand. Whoever typed this prompt into AI probably saw the tiny hand, thought, “Eh, this looks fine,” and posted it.
This one is my favorite because it is horrifying. Newsom looks like anime Greg Gutfeld with that rictus grin. Trump also appears to be punching his own head with his foot-hand? Whenever I see people online defend AI image generators as things that make creating art “accessible” to more people, I would like to show them this image, because it is not art. At best, this image resembles what might happen if David Cronenberg decided to create an animated political “satire” in the vein of Mr. Birchum. NO ONE NEEDS THAT. NO ONE.
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