Due to recent events in the news (the broadcasted gang rape on Twitter of a Florida student, the Cornell 7) I have decided I need to square up with an aspect of my past I’ve never spoken about. If you want something lighter, that’s understandable: you can consider this something of a content warning. I did recently put out an Apophany about pinball.

No reviews this issue. See you in two weeks.

The first assault I heard about in my fraternity, I walked. I met with our president in a courtyard, asked about it, told him I was leaving, and left. When I joined, it was because I trusted the men who were members and it was because I trusted them. When I left, it was because of trust as well. 

Most people don’t know I was in a fraternity. I have given different reasons for being in a fraternity over the years because all the reasons were different. The truest reason was I knew it was very easy to become poor no matter how middle class you are (my life after leaving the fraternity is proof) and I wanted insurance. The fraternity was supposed to provide a floor. There is not much of a floor when you are on speaking terms with only one or two of your brothers. They did not all immediately quit talking to me. Some even agreed with my decision. After all, the assault was at a non sanctioned event, yet it was cited as an official fraternity event. My brother threw a woman to the ground. We agreed this was beyond the pale. 

My brother was never punished, however. His assault died in paper work. 

Years later, I learned the fraternity I joined for boyish reasons was talking in email about how drunk they were going to get female attendees at parties. A few people brought me up as somebody who would have tore our new members a new asshole. Again, there was much discussion, these boys were acting beyond the pale, and if only I were to yell at them and how did we fall so hard. But did the behavior stop? I don't know. People don't tell me these things. They just reminisce on somebody who was different, who might have actually believed the things he agreed to when he took his oath, on somebody dumb enough to believe in something besides a protection racket. 

Not a year after I graduated, the UVA chapter of my fraternity (just 45 minutes away) came under fire in Rolling Stone when a woman said she was raped there. The journalist fucked up the story, my fraternity sued, and there was a lot of talk about how we all survived this grand smear. But internally, I had heard about problems with that chapter, and now they didn’t exist. A matter of mere paperwork. And it was like the day I first opened my eyes and I never had any brothers anyhow. And if I never had any brothers, it doesn't matter if I stood up to them.