February 25, 2025

a personal trifecta

"A Sharp Endless Need" and my relationship with basketball

first off

I've never read a book like Mac Crane’s A Sharp Endless Need (out May 13, 2025) before because I never thought a book quite like this would exist.

Some necessary context: I'm queer and nonbinary; I write fiction, nonfiction, and poetry; I'm a former basketball player; and more recently I was a women's basketball journalist for several years. As I immersed myself in the latter space, I relished any opportunity to find others whose lives also married this trifecta of queer + creative writer + basketball person. When I discovered Crane's work, learned they played basketball in college (for a program I'd written about!), and got to know their passionate writing about the game, I became a fan. And this was years before this particular book was announced! So that's where I'm coming from here — this book satisfyingly fills a niche for me that I've been trying to carve out for myself.

A Sharp Endless Need is a coming-of-age story about Mack, a high school basketball star whose father dies shortly before her senior season. At her father's celebration of life she meets Liv, who easily wins a game of knockout (essentially, a shooting contest) and promptly announces she's transferring to Mack's school for her senior year. What follows is a tumultuous, lustful relationship that lives its best life on the basketball court as the girls' games fit together effortlessly. Off the court, though, it's a different story. A constant refrain for Mack is that basketball is everything, her whole life. She's not sure what her life could look like outside of basketball, whether in the case of her eventual retirement or the time spent in between high school games and practices. Throughout the story, Mack juggles the complexities that Liv (and her boyfriend) presents, the loss of her father, her relationships with friends and family on and off the court, homophobia (both external and internal) and even an undercurrent of Gender Feelings, and the impending deadline to commit to a Division I program.

Crane's writing is poetic, intimate, and visceral. So many times, I gasped and highlighted a couple of sentences because they had both vividly described a feeling and succinctly summarized it, as if to make absolute sure we were on the same page. I've never thought about basketball before the way Crane has so carefully, lovingly written about it, and I'm not sure I'll ever think of basketball the same again. If anything, A Sharp Endless Need heightened my love of the game.

Last thing: I've read a couple of reviews that take issue with Crane's portrayals of elite athletes doing drugs and drinking heavily. Although it wasn't my personal experience, it was absolutely the case that many of the best athletes in my high school were also the biggest partiers. Not only are Mack's actions true to life, they don't feel out of place in the narrative, either. That's just...high school.

(Oh, and as someone who went to Gonzaga and attended every women's basketball game as a member of the pep band, obviously loved the mention.)

Thanks to Random House, The Dial Press, and NetGalley for the ARC!

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one rec

My time as a women’s basketball journalist ended without much fanfare — I took some time away, realized I was better off for it, and never came back. In the years since, I’ve watched basketball much more quietly, publicly rooting for my teams but otherwise keeping my opinions and observations to myself.

Here’s a quick one, though: Baylor has been really fun lately. If you like offensive boards and depth and experience, you’ll like this team. It’s kind of a shame they’ve had to rely on their depth so intensely of late, considering it’s the result of injuries to key players, but it’s been working out for them! The Bears are on a nine-game winning streak and will attempt to avenge a close loss against top-10 TCU this weekend. Not only is it both teams’ regular-season finale, but — barring a shock loss for TCU this week — the Big 12 regular-season title will be on the line.

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wholesome scroll

Okay, it’s an all-basketball newsletter. Here’s the one time I was mentioned in detail in my hometown newspaper — for bravely overcoming an injury — and a succinct summary of just how my return to the court went.

Should the guards who combined for 42 out of 50 points have tried to find me in the post more? Looks like it! (This game was 20 years ago; I don’t remember if that’s an accurate assessment.)