Dear Friends,

Sacred Spaces for Creator Friendships

I’ve been ruminating on the nourishment I receive from my writing and entrepreneurial “accountability groups.”

Calling them “accountability groups” is almost a misnomer, because they contain magic beyond these cold descriptors.

Here are new words collected to capture the vibe, thanks to friends who reflected on the spaces we co-created:

• Hold sacred presence (tweeted about this using Flow Club as an example.)

• Provide space for co-creation and co-regulation: reaching a holistic balance.

• Allow room for integrity: coalescing the intellectual cruft and helping each other feel whole.

Friendships as Spiritual Practice

These qualities remind me of the brahmavihārās. It’s a spiritual practice framework that pre-dates Buddhism, and was re-interpreted* by the Buddha as a path to awakening.

The brahmavihārās consist of 4 qualities:

1. Loving-kindness (mettā)

2. Compassion (karuṇā)

3. Empathetic joy (muditā)

4. Equanimity (upekkhā)

When I first encountered the brahmavihārās, I thought “Gee, they sure sound grand! But…how do I…embody all that?”

Now I see these qualities are much easier to practice with friends than on one’s own. Our friends can remind us to be kind to ourselves, shower us with compassion when we feel down, celebrate with empathetic joy, and co-regulate emotions for equanimity.

Replicating Friendship Magic

On a practical level, it’s important to consider the commonalities underlying these weekly meetup groups I am honored to be a part of:

Sunday Crew (Write of Passage): Fei-Ling, Maymie, Lyssa, Melissa

Working Out Loud (Small Bets): Julian, Ayush, Chris

Journal Sangha (Write of Passage + Ken’s friends): Ken, Laila, Maile, Akiko, Sushama, Fanny (emeritus)

One key attribute is we are all on our individual creative journeys, yet share a common goal to support each other along the way.

Or as Paul phrased succinctly:

Paul Millerd @p_millerd

Working in a big company is the appearance of community while in reality being a collection of hyper-individualists

Being self-employed is the appearance of being hyper-individualist while in reality being a forcing mechanism for building more long-term bonds

As I’m mentoring for Write of Passage, I’m keen to ensure that students will experience the magic of friendship for themselves. I know this is the secret ingredient to succeeding beyond the course.

Of course, friendships cannot be forced, only cultivated. It’s like how a gardener can’t make a plant grow, but they can fertilize the soil and pull up the weeds.

In upcoming issues, I will explore how to foster the optimal environment for creator friendships.

Warm Wishes,

Christin

Words in Italics are in Pāḷi, the language used to record the Buddha’s teachings. Much like other religions like Christianity, it can be nourishing to study the text in its original language and consider how translations can lead to different interpretations.

*The Buddha did this a lot—instead of “coining a phrase,” he changed the meaning of existing concepts! This is an alternative approach we can consider as creators: instead of “making fetch happen,” we can convey a new concept with an existing phrase.