No Silence
The last thing I imagine is that anyone wants to hear my thoughts on the Gaiman revelations. However, staying silent is not an option as that feels like denial, endorsement or complicity to me.
The first big question that occurs to me is whether the revelations many mean that the “Nice Person and Ally” persona was all an act. Some might say it wasn’t — after all, people can be many things — but in this instance it seems as if the person he claimed to be would be the first to condemn the person he turned out to be. Plus as soon as the story broke he disappeared and hid behind the machinery of capitalism, letting the big bucks of the media companies pay for bots to try and drown the story and make it go away. So it likely was an act.
In addition the adoption of this persona meant that the revelations were extra harmful to the very people it was supposedly supporting. The terfy axis of evil have gleefully seized upon this story of a supposed trans ally abusing women. “See?” They shriek, “It’s true! It’s all about abuse of women!” The last thing that delusional pack needs is more ammunition.
Someone once wrote “It’s no harder to be nice than it is to be creepy” but it turns out he found it incredibly hard.
Which brings us to the second point? How weak do you have to be to believe that your mere sexual urges actually trump the feelings and agency of another person? How lacking in empathy and basic humanity?
To do so you’d have to either believe you’ve no control over yourself or consider yourself more important than other people, a level of narcissism that distances you from being human.
Of course many people have their sexual kinks and fantasies. That’s what role play is for. To actually need to play them out for real is like a fan of slasher movies staging an actual murder.
The third point is the least important of all but worth saying nonetheless. There are certain works of fiction and art that have soaked into my subconscious and made themselves part of my mental DNA.
Unfortunately some of Gaiman’s works are amongst them. So when the news broke there was a moment of “Hang on, that can’t be right?” before it became clear that it was. I could see how denial or silence might be a temptation for many but stamped on that. I have made it one of my principles to always believe victims (and never tell anyone they’re wrong to be offended).
I suspect those who protest that it’s “not proven” or “innocent until proven guilty” aren’t suddenly taking an unexpected interest in the mechanics of legal process but are using them to hide their heads in the sand that little bit longer.
So this has taken time to process and I’ll have to dismantle some of myself as a result. And what about people who were his friends and acquaintances who didn’t know? They have even more mental structures to rebuild.
Nevertheless all this mental effort on everyone’s part is worth it if it in some small way contributes gives his victims the closure and healing they deserve.
Which is why I felt silence was not an option.
If you don’t know what I am talking about you can read the background here.