May Courage Pie: the Liberating Power of No
Hello Courageous Pals,
The word "no" can be incredibly liberating. It’s more than just a refusal; it's a declaration of your priorities and values. By saying "no," you create space for what truly matters. Saying “no” to the wrong things lets you say “yes” to the things that really excite and drive you.
Imagine the freedom of choosing where to direct your energy. I’m going to tell you a big secret: you already have that! “No” is about setting boundaries and honoring your time, so you can invest in what genuinely serves your true purpose.
Saying no can be so hard! We all love the praise and rewards we get when we say “yes.” But every “yes” is in reality a “no” to something else - so what is it that you’re already saying “no” to? And what would you like to say “no” to so that you can say “yes” to the things that really matter?
To practice our “no power,” we spent some time thinking about what we want to say no to in different areas of our lives. I looked at home, social, career and health, but you could use different categories depending on what’s top-of-mind for you right now. I added a bonus “volunteering” area when I realised there were some things I wanted to say no to there! First, we thought about what we want to say “no” to in each area. Then we noticed the balance of our “no”s in different areas - are there some areas where we wish we were saying “no” more than others? Then we committed to saying at least one “no!” What would you like to say “no” to this month?
Science behind the slice
If you’re looking for more tips on HOW to say no, check out this post from the Crunk Feminist Collective. Psychological studies have shown that assertiveness, including the power to say no, has benefits ranging from higher levels of confidence and satisfaction in our decisions (this study involves a robot!🤖) to reducing anxiety in situations where people feel uncomfortable or overwhemed. Learning to say no to peer pressure in early life can contribute to lifelong mental resilience and assertiveness - but the good news is, we can continue practicing and developing this skill no matter how old we are and how ingrained those old people-pleasing habits feel. Say NO to feeling stuck!
Where to find me
Keep an eye out on LinkedIn for a little video series mythbusting challenges around work and cancer - I’m developing that with my Working With Cancer colleagues now. I also had the pleasure of hosting two panel events with Coaching for Creatives on the value coaching can bring to the creative sector earlier in the month for International Coaching Week; go check out our videos and a summary of key takeaways. If you like what we do at Courage Pie and you think it would benefit a group or organisation you’re part of, let me know by replying to this email! And bring a pal along next month, why don’t you?
That’s it from me this month - hope to see you all at next month’s Courage Pie, where we’ll be talking about the power of helping hands: how to tap into our networks and communities when we need a boost.
Very best,
Caitlin