Last week I lost my job. I know it would be cooler to tell you I quit to pursue this blog more seriously and write my book. That was the original plan. I would save up, work on Bookish Delights in my spare time and eventually! hopefully! in a few years! be able to do this full time. 

However, I want to be honest. Last Monday, an email arrived telling me that the division I lead was closing down, and while they were looking for alternative placements for me in the company, it was strongly implied I should start my job hunt as soon as possible. 

All of this is not to complain. I had a good 6 years, met some wonderful people, and learned a lot. It’s not like I’ve never thought about quitting before or that I was particularly happy. I was content, the pay was good, and it was comfortable. 

My immediate reaction was panic and anxiety, as you’d expect. A fair amount of feeling lost once I was appropriately emotionally drained. 

But then the strangest thing happened. I woke up one morning actually looking forward to my day. I wasn’t dreading the long, needless meetings, I wasn’t exasperated by the senseless requests that were sure to come. I could just be. 

And this may sound stupid or simple to you. Writing it down feels silly too, don’t get me wrong. But the thing is, I haven’t been able to just exist in 6 years. 

Even when I was on vacation, on my maternity leave (twice), on weekends, during holidays, I always knew the next work day was right around the corner, that my inbox was piling high while I was away, that things may go wrong that only I could fix. That someone would find a mistake I made and gasp be mad at me. So, no, I was never quite able to just log off. My mind was always halfway at work. 

So waking up in the morning and realizing I don’t have to think about any of it, ever again, was marvelous. I cannot describe to you the feeling of freedom I had — and still have daily when I realize I’m free. All my reading and all my words fail me when I try to explain myself. 

It’s not that I’m not stressed out about the money — because duh, in this economy? — or my prospects — dire, in the AI-ridden world of content — but the fact that I can just wake up and not work? not worry about work stuff? just write about books? fills me with more joy than anything I’ve felt recently. 

I can have breakfast with my kids at an actual table instead of in front of my computer and look at their beautiful, silly faces as long as I want. I can talk to my husband for hours without half-listening and half-typing out the next email. I can just get on with my day without working around a series of meetings. I can apply my knowledge and experience as I wish, without some Karen (literally) telling me I’m wrong because Claude or ChatGPT told her otherwise. 

The simple joys of doing the dishes by hand instead of stuffing them in the dishwasher because I don’t have time. Hanging laundry in the summery sunshine. Taking my time, being intentional, feeling less stressed and less like everything is overwhelming. 

So while the dread of finances and next jobs looms around the corner, I’m treasuring these days of peace and quiet, of doing what I want, when I want it, however I want it. I’m happy, and that’s something to celebrate. 

That said, you can see how, in the previous week, I was not in the mindset to read. So this, the first of my bookish letters to you, will be almost entirely book-less. 

But not without recommendations!

Media I loved this week

On Saturday, I watched The Other Bennet Sister, the new Jane Austen-inspired TV Show. The context here is that I wanted to cry very badly and when that happens, my recipe for feeling better is this: 

• 1 Pride and Prejudice 2005 watch

• 1 Sense and Sensibility watch 

• 1 Persuasion (2007) watch

• 1 Emma (2020) to top it off

Usually I feel much improved after P&P (2005) (it’s my favorite movie of all time), but if I still feel bad after Emma, then Mamma Mia is next! 

This time, though, I felt like something fresh and new. Coincidentally, people were raving about The Other Bennet Sister all over social media, so I went for that instead. I thought, even if it’s bad, I can just switch back to my trusty watch list. 

Let me tell you, the moment I started watching, I fell in love with the show! It’s so beautifully done, so emotional and heartfelt and just sad at times. The actors did an amazing job, from Mrs. Bennet and Jane to the very last extra. 

If you’ve ever felt like the “lesser” sister, like the one that will never find love or happiness, like you were too difficult and weird for the society to accept you, this show is for you. Even if not, and you’re just an Austen fan, I think you’ll love it. 

It won’t ruin your love for Lizzy and Darcy (which was my biggest fear), or any other characters, it will only enrich the world you already love. Though, I have to say whatever good graces the 2005 movie put Mr. and Mrs. Bennet in for me, this show firmly dispelled. They’re both awful, but just as complex. 

And then there’s Mr. Collins, seen from the perspective of someone just like him, an outcast (Mary). I have to tell you the words I never thought I’d say, but I loved Mr. Collins in this one! It shows a different side of him, one that’s looking for happiness just as much as everyone else is. I teared up at his scenes, the poor man. 

Mr. Darcy, appropriately, has almost no lines and appears only when he must. 

And then there are our heroes, Mr. Hayward and Mr. Ryder, both so different from each other, but in some ways good for Mary. Mr. Hayward is clearly the leading man, with spectacular forearms (for which Mary has a particular passion), a passion for poetry, and lovely little glasses. And Mr. Ryder is a little wild and unconventional, but he too, does Mary a lot of good in building her confidence and making her feel like she belongs. 

Mary is brilliant in this. I cried so many times for her, mostly because I related. She grows so much throughout this show without losing the core of who she is. The actress did such a marvelous job with this role. 

Anyway, my point is — watch this show!

And if you’re like me and you’ve already watched it, then I have a book to recommend. This will eventually be a full list on the blog, but I thought to include it here in case you’re craving more. 

So, first of all, if you didn’t know, The Other Bennet Sister is a book! I haven’t read it yet but I’m hoping it’s good (it’s on my TBR).

But more importantly, read Blue Castle by L. M. Montgomery! This is a lovely, sort of underrated classic, about Valancy Striling, a spinster (at 29) whose mother and family are very judgy and oppressive and insist on keeping her under their thumb. Until, that is, devastating health news give Valancy some much-needed bravery to go after what she wants. There’s a swoony hero, a lovely romance, and tons of character growth. The moment I started watching The Other Bennet Sister, this book is what I thought of, so I highly recommend it if you need more of the same kind of storyline. 

And of course, if you haven’t read Persuasion or Pride and Prejudice yet — go read them!

There’s also North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell, which you’ll adore if you’re an Austen fan.

For something more modern, I recommend maybe Book Lovers by Emily Henry? It has sisters, a bad mom, a woman who feels as though she doesn’t deserve love, and a great hero. 

And it may be an unconventional choice, but I also think Black Silk by Judith Ivory is a good read. It features a woman who believes she’s not beautiful or worthy of a swoony love, so she settles for what she can get. The Proposition by the same author also has a very studious heroine who doesn’t believe she’s lovable and then she learns that she is. 

I’ll definitely think of more for the full list, but these are just some of the books I read that remind me of The Other Bennet Sister without — you know, actually being about Mary or another P&P character (as most recommendations online tend to be). 

What I’m reading this week

I’m finally back on my reading horse, so to speak, and with an excellent recommendation from one of my favorite authors, Alix E. Harrow. 

The book I’m reading is The Unmagical Life of Briar Jones by Lex Croucher. This is a queer dark academia, friends to enemies to lovers set at a magical school. Our main character, Briar, has always wanted to go to Temple School of Thaumaturgy, but wasn’t able to get in (because surprise surprise, only the rich do), but their best friend from childhood, Seb, did get in, and Briar hasn’t seen him since. Now Briar gets a job as a janitor at Temple School and there she meets Seb again — only he’s not the friend she knew, but a much darker man who now goes by Bastian. 

I’ve only just started so I can’t tell you much except that the writing is delicious and that the world is quite interesting. The story seems to be set in our world, only with the caveat that there may or may not be magic. Most people don’t believe in it, but there are of course conspiracy theorists that claim Temple is a school of magic. Which, you know, turns out to be true as Briar always believed. 

I love Briar as well, they’re such an interesting character!

So, wish me luck — though I suspect I may not need it. Updates on what I thought in my next newsletter, and then a review at some point too.