Hundred Days of Happiness - Week One
Focusing on Gratitude within my "Circle of Control"
I have decided to start up #100daysofhappiness again. I have a few essays in my drafts folder which need time and work and that is in short supply these days, but I really want to get to them. As many of you know, I think in images, so taking photos is easier than writing in a journal. I thought I could share some daily life tidbits here on SubStack while the other essays percolate in my brain. Stay tuned for those.
For this project, I document the things in my life that I am grateful for and publish them online using the hashtag #100happydays. Focusing on the things that are good in my life helps to see a different point of view, and get me out of my head. It helps me start to take action to dissolve my anxiety from whatever the hell this timeline is…
My DH shared the diagram below with me after I melted down about the election results. It seems to me like the Serenity Prayer in Venn Diagram form. I am not ignoring the world, but also not letting anxiety get the better of me by focusing too much on the “Circle of Concern”. I still very much interact in my “Circle of Influence” and write and call my Senators and Representatives and do what I can during this critical time. But, also, I need to pay special attention to my “Circle of Control”.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Practicing gratitude will change your brain chemistry - it’s science backed and has helped me personally over the years. It’s not “toxic positivity” where you force happiness on an unhappy situation or person. Rather you find something to be grateful for in your life and each day find something good instead of focusing on the problems which can be overwhelming.
Sometimes I take a photo of a moment that has made me happy and post it immediately. Other times I take photos throughout the day and choose the one that represents the day the best. If I post immediately, I can sometimes regret moving so fast as something even better happened during the day. There is always something even on the crappiest days (a meal or a snapshot of beauty that I find), but it can be an honest to god struggle. Friends have told me that my feed is “so positive” and brightens their days; they assume that I am happy and that “life is great”. When in reality, I am holding on for dear life and trying to focus on the positive.
It helps a lot to complete the challenge and I have done it many times over the years, even doing #365daysofhappiness. Plus, it creates a great archive. One Christmas, DH created a photo album of the project, and it was a wonderful remembrance of our son’s early life.
So these days, I feel like I need to put positivity out into the world, and focus on what I can control in my life. I am putting these images out on Instagram and BlueSky daily, but thought that a weekly roundup here would be nice to do as well. Hope these bring a smile to your life.
#latergram #day01of100 #100daysofhappiness #friendship #community #gordonsgin
Met up with a fellow British Mum to drop David off for a sleepover and ended up chatting and having an alcohol-free Gin & Tonic. I didn’t even know that was a thing, but apparently Gordon’s makes alcohol-free Gin. The catchup was absolutely lovely. It was so nice to connect with a friend in person.
Friendship and community in all its forms is so needed right now. I am very grateful for friends who have checked in on me, who have come over for hugs, who have texted and called. Even though it feels lonely and scary in the world right now, the community in my life has sprung into action in a big way over the past week. We all feel like we need each other and it’s been really good - both on and offline.
I am still taking things mostly slowly because of my COVID recovery, but I am doing better than I was. But I still have to rest and feel pressure in my neck and head if I do too much. It feels like I need to crack my neck joint (like when you need to crack your knuckles) and when I do manage to do so by turning my head one way and the other, the pressure is released and I feel better. My lightheadedness goes away and I feel clear-headed once more. So, it’s a balance of not going crazy, but also resting enough and early enough so I don’t get wiped out because when the energy does fall off, it just drops like a stone. Pacing oneself is really hard.
#latergram #day02of100 #100daysofhappiness #friendship #community #amsterdam #grachten I got a message on Saturday from a friend - a blast from the past - visiting the Netherlands and he wanted to meet up. I have been recovering from COVID and mostly in bed for the past month - but have been incrementally getting better - and so made the effort and drove to Amsterdam to meet up with him, his lovely wife and other friends old and new.
We chatted about projects, election results, geopolitics, family and friends and generally had a wonderful afternoon which culminated in a boat trip through the canals of Amsterdam and a fancy dinner at a mushroom bar. I took it as easy as I could and bowed out earlier than I would have liked, but it was wonderful to be again in their orbit and look forward to strengthening our connection.
Thankfully I didn’t “crash” from exhaustion the next day but still have to ease into doing more and not overdo it. Pacing is emotionally difficult because I really just want to power-through and “do all the things” when I am feeling better. That is the worst thing to do post a viral infection. Sadly I have too many friends I have learned that lesson from. So, taking it as easy as I can while still doing what I can.
#latergram #day03of100 #100daysofhappiness #sunset #nature #beauty
The sunset when dropping my son off to his Karate Team practice is beautiful. As the fall and winter progress here in the Netherlands, it will get darker and darker earlier and earlier. But, while I can, I love seeing the sunset.
I grew up in Northern California and even though there was a lot of fog on the coast, there was also a lot of sun and I loved watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean time after time. Then moving to Buenos Aires, the sun was an all powerful almost ever-present beautiful fireball in the sky. For two years, my ex and I lived in a tall apartment building with access to the roof on the 18th floor. The sunsets over the city and extended horizon were almost out-of-this-world surreal. The city just never stopped.
All this to say, I love sunsets. We don’t have a direct easy view from our house, so they feel extra special now when I do get to catch them.
#latergram #day04 #100happydays #chinesefood
Went up to Amsterdam for a lunch meeting and visited this floating restaurant next to the train station. It was a cold crisp beautiful fall day. Lunch was delicious and the meeting was productive. This restaurant seems like a tourist trap, but it was really beautiful inside and the food was on par with Chinese food from San Francisco. A lot of the Chinese restaurants here in the Netherlands are infused with Indonesian cuisine and so while tasty and good as it is, it also seems “wrong” in my head. The Dim Sum were scrumptious.
#latergram #day05 #100happydays #argentinosporelmundo #comidaargentina
There are a couple of days of the week where my son and I get home right at dinner time and DH is not home because he is at Dutch class. I need to have dinner ready when we get in the door. My usual go to is roast chicken and potatoes programmed in the oven. Last week, I made “Pastel de Papa” - an Argentine version of Cottage Pie. Its base is onions, bell peppers and ground beef with spices. I added celery and grated zucchini for more fiber. It is then covered with mashed potatoes and put in the oven. It lasted for three meals and was a hit!
#latergram #caturday #day06 #100happydays
I made the bed around Pica. It’s getting colder and I wanted him to be warm and cozy as he had been doing such a good job of helping me recover from Covid and get my strength back. But now that I am doing better, he’s a bit upset that I am not spending all day in bed anymore. Sorry buddy, but this is actually a good thing! Thank you for being such a good healer and emotional support buddy.
#latergram #homemademeal #friendship #day07 #100happydays
A friend came over and brought me homemade soup, curried squash and lentils, and a loaf of warm fresh sourdough bread. OMG! So delicious and so wonderful not to have to think about what to make or cook it ourselves. Such a generous and caring gesture - I feel truly blessed to have such amazing people in my life.
I hope you are doing well in these turbulent times, I hope these tidbits made you smile and I hope to hear about what good things are going on in your life - big or small.