Self confidence vs self doubt at work
G'day,
Self-confidence and success can be a catch-22 problem: "I would be confident if I succeed but I need to be confident to succeed". The more confident we feel, the harder we try, the better we perform, which in return contributes to feeling more confident.
On the other hand, self-doubt is feeling like an imposter and thinking I am not as good as people think I am. Self-doubt can keep us from seeing ourselves clearly. Instead of acknowledging our accomplishments, we tend to downplay them and underestimate our skills. It can affect our mental health and how comfortable we are taking on new challenges. Feelings of self-doubt are notably more common in working women, BIPOC individuals, and people from under-represented groups (Hidden Brain)
Both self-confidence and self-doubt can be aided with frequent feedback. Regardless of if we are feeling over-confidence or higher levels of self-doubt, if we never receive feedback on our performance, we are stuck with an internal image of ourselves that is not grounded in reality. Even worse, we might perpetuate and persist those negative thoughts. Feedback can help to correct those doubting voices in our heads.
Managers and leaders should provide frequent feedback to help mitigate imposter syndrome and the feeling of self-doubt in their reports. We can do that by giving praise where it is due and to the extent it is due. Managers should be conscious of small wins and use them to build up confidence in their reports.
As a manager, be transparent in your own vulnerabilities and share them with your reports. Be vulnerable, admit when you make mistakes, and embrace failure. Your reports will think: "If my manager can make a mistake, then I don't have to be perfect to be competent". This transparency and sharing creates psychological safety. As a senior engineer, showing you make mistakes, and don't know everything all the time helps others with their perception of themselves. It is the senior's responsibility to show vulnerability first and support an environment that is psychologically safe.
Overcoming self-doubt is something we all face at times. Being aware that some members of your team might face it more often and supporting your team members through it, is a vital part of our work.
~ Elle
What's been happening?
Workshop
Our next Leading Engineering Teams workshop will be kicking off from August 29th until September 1st. This workshop is most suited to new, current, and prospective engineering managers and team leads. From leadership styles, giving feedback, to productivity, prioritisation, progress and how to move things forward, you will learn how to successfully lead a team and become an effective and confident manager. Grab yourself a ticket before they sell out!
Keen for a face-to-face workshop? Then join us at Agile Aus Conference this October for the condensed version of Leading Engineering Teams in Melbourne and Sydney! https://agileaustralia.com.au/2022/workshops/
Community of Practice
We are developing a community of practice program for engineering managers to bring everyday real-life challenges to the table to share, reflect, explore, learn, and grow together. If you are in the first or second year of leading a technology team, we'd love to hear from you. This will help us put together a rough outline for the first session. What are some of the challenges that you are currently having? Let us know at Gday@blackmill.co
New website
We are currently building a new website and cannot wait to show it to you! We approached Amanda and Sophie from Kickstand to help us with the design and they did an amazing job. Stay tuned...
What are we reading?
On imposter syndrome — relating to how we started this newsletter some thoughts and suggestions by Elle
And, not but — "but" is very polarising, instead consider using "and" to start a conversation
The ultimate guide to visual note taking — this came up in our recent book club chat last Tuesday
Give away your legos — a matrix for delegation, written by Evan Borden
On vulnerability and trust — where Keith talks about the heart of Agile, and the cycle of "collaborate, deliver, reflect, and improve" which are not possible without trust
The global leadership dilemma: to be inclusive or not to be inclusive? — maybe start by acknowledging that "I need your difference and you need mine.”
A cuppa with Amanda Palmas
1. What do you do? And what do you like about your work?
I am a UX/UI Designer and Director of Kickstand Design. I like many things about my job but my truly happy place is crafting design experiences that solve problems for people. I'm also a bit of a neat freak so I love the process of setting up a design file that is organised and tidy. It's like a fresh pair of sheets on the bed!
2. What aspect of your work do you find most challenging?
When faced with a blank canvas it can be difficult for people to articulate what they want/need. It's a designer's job to draw out these needs in order to inform our brief, so it's a really important part of the process. This can be challenging because every person is different so this process needs to adapt every time in order to ensure the design solution meets everyones expectations. That and spelling, I'm really bad at spelling.
3. What are you passionate about?
When I was in kindergarten I was asked to design the cover of the school newsletter, its the first design job I can remember and I have literally been designing ever since! Its the only thing I ever wanted to do and I still love it -ahem- years later. So I guess I can safely say I am passionate about that. I believe strongly that we shouldn't only live for work (even if we love it) so I have many other loves. Family, dog, snowboarding, music, yoga, dancing, and liquorice bullets to name just a few.
4. What are recent accomplishments you are happy with?
Kickstand redesigned the Blackmill website recently and we love it! Best clients ever too. (editors' note: new design is being worked on as we send this email)
5. What is one mistake that you will never make again?
I make mistakes all the time! I try hard to learn from them in order to evolve as a person but I'm not sure I could promise not to make a particular one again. For example, I swore I would never colour my own hair after some fairly dire past experiences but I did it in lockdown... It was another mistake.
6. How do you manage stress?
I am quite sensitive to smell (both good and bad). When I'm at work and I use a delicious Essential Oil Inhaler which I bought because I like the smell but have found that it helps me re-centre, focus and/or de-stress. Other than that I love to sweat out those negative vibes with a run or some yoga. I'm not above de-stressing with a glass of wine in the backyard either...
7. What is the best advice you can give?
Be yourself in life and in work. As the saying goes “It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not.” I know for myself, the people I am drawn to most in life are those who are their authentic selves rather than the most likeable or those I have the most in common with. That and just keep trying new things. Life has a lot of weird and wonderful things to offer if you can suspend your judgement or doubts. Dive in!
8. What are your goals or aspirations for this year?
After years of designing solutions for other businesses, this year Kickstand will be developing our own app. It's really exciting for us and something we have wanted to do for a really long time. I'm looking forward to the challenge and hoping the experience of building my own product from scratch will help inform future design work I do for clients. But ask any designer and they'll tell you designing for yourself is the hardest thing to do. I'm going to be an absolute nightmare to get approvals from.
What are we cooking?
Amanda's Spaghetti Vongole
"Vongole is a type of clam which is super delicious and available year round. Fresh is always best but they can be cooked from frozen and are sometimes available in cryovac which is also good. While the idea of cooking vongole may be a bit daunting, it really is soooo simple. The only thing to be aware of is that clams live in sand and so need to be purged in freshwater before being cooked. Often this has already been done at the fish shop, just ask them. If not, it's just a matter of putting them into a big bowl and covering them in cold fresh water. You can leave them in a cool place for a few hours and then drain them and they'll be ready to cook" - Amanda.
Ingredients:
1 kg fresh vongole (or pippies)
2 Garlic cloves, sliced
1 cup white wine
1 tbsp butter
1 tbsp olive oil
Chilli flakes to taste (optional)
Freshly chopped coriander
Freshly chopped parsley
Spaghetti
Instructions:
Add your spaghetti to a boiling pot of salted water before moving on to the vongole.
In a medium heat pan, add olive oil, butter, garlic and chilli flakes and stir until melty and fragrant (careful not to burn the garlic or chilli.)
Throw away any of the vongole that are already open. Add the rest to the pan with wine, turn up the heat high and cover with a lid for a few minutes until all the vongole have opened.
Add the chopped coriander and parsley on top in the last minute of cooking.
Drain your spaghetti and toss through the yummy cooked vongole and sauce.
Serve with some crusty bread and enjoy!
And we're out
Thank you for showing an interest in our newsletter and we hope that you enjoyed the read. Feel free to contact us if you have any feedback, a burning question, or just a recipe that you would like to share.
Until next time, keep learning!
Everyone at Blackmill